


Philia, Eros

by Bontaque



Category: Suits (TV)
Genre: Drug Use, High School, Kissing, M/M, Masturbation, Mutual Masturbation, Oral Sex, Resolved Sexual Tension, Sharing a Bed, Shotgunning, Unresolved Sexual Tension
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2012-02-04
Updated: 2012-11-22
Packaged: 2017-10-30 14:47:44
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 15
Words: 46,867
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/332907
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Bontaque/pseuds/Bontaque
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>The highschool days of Mike and Trevor (with quite a bit of Jenny after a while). I'll add more tags as they come. Basically an excuse for me to write a long running fic looking at the evolution of their relationship.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Bad Movie Night

**Author's Note:**

> I have taken the name of this work from two of the four greek words for love. Philia is usually the word given to friendship love, although it can be interpreted as a much broader term. Eros is the word referring to passionate and sexual love.
> 
> I've spent a while on this and, yes, it's cheesy. It's going to have every highschool trope I can throw at it.
> 
> Please note, though, that I have no knowledge whatsoever of the American education system so I've done the best that I can.
> 
> I hope to update this at least once a week, any feedback is extremely welcome.

 Mike's teacher's words rang in his ears as he walked to his next class. _I don't know why you're friends with that boy. He gets you into so much trouble._

It was true. Trevor got him into a lot of trouble. Mike wouldn't have it any other way. He knew that Trevor would be there for him if he ever needed him. Or he knew he'd at least try to be and that was more than he could say about anyone else. Besides, trouble could be fun sometimes.

Mike wanted to congratulate himself on staying calm. He had almost taken the day off of school but he hadn't wanted Grammy to make a fuss. On top of everything, he didn't want to have to defend his oldest friend before he'd even seen him. He had Biology next, one of the many classes in which the teacher had realised that they probably shouldn't sit together.

He spent the next forty minutes listening to the teacher talk about protein synthesis, making unnecessary notes on mRNA and tRNA whilst Trevor made faces at him from across the room.

“Do you get this?” his lab partner asked, looking frustrated.

“Yeah, what's wrong?” he asked.

“I don't understand the difference between the rough and smooth... reticulum? Where does the smooth stuff come in?”

“The smooth endoplasmic reticulum? It isn't involved in the protein synthesis,” Mike said, trying not to sound like he was recalling it straight from the text book. “It makes lipids and steroids.”

“Oh! Thanks,” Jenny said, smiling and scribbling a note in the margin of her book.

Trevor rolled his eyes at Mike from the front of the class. He was always telling him that Jenny seemed to like him.

When the bell sounded for lunch, Mike packed up quickly to make sure he'd catch up with Trevor. They were friends but it was pizza day so there were no guarantees. To his surprise, Trevor was standing outside the classroom waiting for him.

“You alright man?” he asked him.

“Uh yeah,” Mike replied. “Trevor. _Pizza day_.”

“I know, I know. Just wanted to make sure I got a chance to ask you if you wanted to come round tonight. Free house, weed and bad movies?”

That did sound perfect and Mike had been hoping he could get out of the house tonight. He agreed and they headed off to the cafeteria.

When Trevor let him have the last slice of pepperoni, taking the vegetable for himself, Mike knew something was up. He wasn't just in a good mood about the free house; Mike had known Trevor long enough to know that nothing came between him and pepperoni. He'd remembered. Trevor knew what day it was.

“You can have the pepperoni,” he said, when they found seats. “You don't have to be nice to me just because... you know.”

Trevor rolled his eyes.

“I was that obvious? Just wanted to make sure you were alright, man.”

Mike wished his Literature teacher was there to see this. Even he was kind of surprised that Trevor had remembered that it was the anniversary of his parents' death.

 

*

All things considered, Mike's day hadn't been as bad as it could have been. His grandmother hadn't even stopped him from staying over at Trevor's even though it was a school night. He grabbed some clothes for the next day and headed over straight after dinner.

The basement was already set up how they always had it when he got there. The double mattress from the guest bedroom was on the floor in the corner, sheets in a pile on top. There were snacks piled up on the table, two joints already rolled and the tv was ready on the DVD channel.

“Fuck, I love it when they leave town,” Mike said. It had been way too long since they'd been able to do this.

They flopped down onto the large beanbag in front of the tv; it was hard to arrange themselves in a way that wasn't awkward, but it was cooler than the couch.

It just was.

“What level of terrible do you want?” Trevor asked.

Mike never knew where he found these movies but they were always dreadful and he exactly which ones Mike would love.

“The worst. Absolute worst.”

“Well I have two for you. One is much worse technically. Bad CGI and stuff. Want to save the worst for last?”

Mike nodded and looked down at the DVDs Trevor had burned himself. His untidy writing was on both of them: _Black Swarm_ and _Sharktopus_. This was going to be a good night.

Half way through _Black Swarm_ , Trevor passed the first joint to Mike but he declined.

They always had two, but not one each. They split them both, saving the second one until the high started to fade. Trevor offering him the first hit was pretty much as big as him giving up the pizza.

Mike watched Trevor light it, laughing a little when he fumbled with the lighter. He took it when it was passed to him and inhaled deeply.

The film only got worse (so much better) and the slight high added to it. 

Mike passed the joint back to Trevor and tried to focus on the film. Did that man have wasps in his ear? What? He felt Trevor un-tense next to him, sliding down the beanbag slightly, no longer focusing on holding himself upright. Mike kind of appreciated the contact; if Trevor got a little affectionate when he was high (which he did) he was going to let him. He turned on the beanbag a little to get comfortable, rolling into a half-cuddling position. He barely thought anything of it. They were friends, it was cool and Trevor only made a big deal out of it in public.

When the film ended, Mike didn't have too much to say. He was laughing too much at the ridiculous ending and the way that Trevor was completely failing to get up to change the DVD.

“It's not funny! Help me? It's like it's eaten me,” he said.

“It's hilarious, actually,” Mike replied, letting him struggle for a second or to before pushing him up.

 

*

 

Trevor struggled to change the DVD. Mike always tried to be sensible, meaning he usually ended up smoking more than half his share of the weed. He'd thought he was fine until he'd tried to stand up but now everything seemed to be a little further away than it looked. Or something like that. Once he'd successfully changed the DVD to Sharktopus, he turned and flopped back down onto the beanbag, curling around Mike. He seemed happy, which was good. He'd felt a bit awkward being extra nice to him but he still remembered how upset he'd been last year. That had been pretty heart breaking. You know, if there was a way to say that without sounding ridiculous.

“Trev?” Mike asked sleepily. “Pass me a soda?”

Trevor felt around behind him, grasping around for anything for anything can shaped. He found one and handed it to Mike, laughing as he struggled to open it. He lit up the second joint, passing it to Mike after a few hits.

They spent the rest of the film laughing at he horrendous CGI and the fact that “Sharktopus” actually meant something with the head of a shark and the tentacles of an octopus. 

They still had school the next day so as soon as it finished, they stumbled over to the mattress. 

 

*

 

Mike tried to pull the sheets into something that resembled a made bed as Trevor undressed behind him. He should have done this before but he never learned. He did his best before kicking off his shoes and jeans and getting into bed. When he felt Trevor slide in beside him, he wanted to thank him. He knew he'd put thought into taking his mind off of everything tonight and bad movie night was the best way to do that. He tried to think of a way to put it that wouldn’t make Trevor laugh at him but then he heard his soft snoring and made a note to remember in the morning.

 

*

 

Mike had to work hard to convince his Gram to let him go to a party with Trevor. She never really liked him but she was polite enough to never say anything about it. He hadn't done anything with him for two weeks, not since he'd stayed over.

Somehow, since then, Trevor had gotten together with Jenny. It had been strange at first, the two of them hadn't shown much interest in each other before, but Mike didn't mind. The only bad thing was that Trevor had been spending most of his free time with her and even more texting Mike about it. Mike wasn't jealous. Not one bit.

He checked himself over in the mirror quickly before running downstairs. He thought Jenny would be coming too but Trevor told him that she'd had to work. 

The party was in full swing by the time they got there. Drinks were passed around, Trevor filled him in on what he'd managed to get up to with Jenny (kissing, a little more) and then someone suggested spin the bottle. Every one protested but it ended up happening anyway.

Trevor sat down beside Mike but then someone, a girl he didn't recognise, squeezed between them. She was pretty drunk.

The bottle began to spin and landed on a girl opposite Mike, then Gary, the person who had thrown the party. They kissed, a few people giggled.

Five minutes later, there had been seven more kisses with little protest, not even when the girl next to Mike had to kiss Charlotte Harris.

 

*

 

Trevor was starting to get a little bored. People had gotten a little overly excited that two girls had had to kiss but it wasn't really a big deal. When the bottle picked two guys, they protested and Gary told them they'd have to pay a forfeit of $5 each for backing out. They paid up. The next spin landed on Mike and then a girl named Elle.

Trevor watched as Mike leaned forwards as Elle crawled towards him. They kissed and there were a few noises from the people who could see as she slid her hand up to cup his face before pulling away. Mike flashed a grin at Trevor before sitting back down.

Trevor began to worry a little. The alcohol had started to wear off and he was now wondering if kissing someone in a game of spin the bottle counted as cheating. Then it landed on him. There were whispers from the circle as the next spin landed on Mike.

“I don't have any cash on me,” he said looking at Mike quickly.

He knew that Mike didn't have any, either. They hadn't seen any point bringing money to a house party. He didn't mind. He hadn't kissed anyone yet and it was Mike. It was fine.

The girl between them moved back, giving them room to move forwards into. Mike just shrugged and Trevor tried to ignore the feeling of everyone's eyes on him. Suddenly they were kissing and Trevor was trying not to think about the way his heart was pounding in his chest. He had another warm body pressed up against him, it was only natural.

When they pulled apart, Mike didn't meet his eye. Trevor was pretty sure that it was because, for a moment, he'd forgotten who he was kissing and he might have gone a little too far.

 

*

 

By Sunday evening, when Mike hadn't heard from Trevor, he was starting to worry. Not that it should be a big deal, they just kissed, but some of the people at the party had gone on about it for a while and Mike was worried that Trevor was going to be awkward about it. He hadn't been to great on the walk home.

He logged into Skype and was relieved to see him online.

  
  


[7:47:47 PM] Mike Ross: Hey.  
[7:48:09 PM] Trevor Evans: hey  
[7:48:32 PM] Mike Ross: Um, how's everything?  
[7:48:50 PM] Trevor Evans: alright why?  
[7:48:55 PM] Trevor Evans: you sound worried or something  
[7:49:40 PM] Mike Ross: No, I'm not worried. I just...well, we didn't talk at all on Saturday.  
[7:49:57 PM] Mike Ross: I was just wondering if everything was okay.  
[7:50:08 PM] Trevor Evans: yeah its good I guess  
[7:50:16 PM] Trevor Evans: I slept pretty late because of the party  
[7:50:28 PM] Trevor Evans: didnt sleep much when I got in  
[7:50:34 PM] Trevor Evans: are you alright then?  
[7:50:49 PM] Mike Ross: Yeah. I slept in, too.  
[7:50:51 PM] Mike Ross: It was a fun party, though.  
[7:51:01 PM] Trevor Evans: er yeah  
[7:51:03 PM] Trevor Evans: I guess  
[7:51:21 PM] Trevor Evans: I mean we didnt really know many of them but it was alright  
[7:51:45 PM] Mike Ross: I suppose.  
[7:52:03 PM] Mike Ross: I meant that it was fun because we haven't done that sort of thing in a while?  
7:52:12 PM] Mike Ross: IDK  
[7:52:24 PM] Trevor Evans: yeah I get what you mean  
[7:52:29 PM] Trevor Evans: we dont exactly get out much  
[7:53:02 PM] Trevor Evans: do you think anyone will make a big deal out of the spin the bottle thing?  
[7:53:39 PM] Mike Ross: I don't think so.  
[7:54:00 PM] Mike Ross: I mean, we had to. It was part of the game.  
[7:54:05 PM] Trevor Evans: well yeah but  
[7:54:15 PM] Trevor Evans: the other guys didnt they just paid the forfeit money  
[7:54:30 PM] Trevor Evans: I mean I know we didnt have a choice because we didnt have any but still  
[7:54:48 PM] Trevor Evans: I guess if we just act cool about it it wont matter?  
[7:54:58 PM] Mike Ross: Hey, I think that because we didn't chicken out makes us better than them  
[7:55:03 PM] Mike Ross: or something, lol  
[7:55:08 PM] Trevor Evans: yeah I guess  
[7:55:29 PM] Trevor Evans: I probably wouldnt have done it if it was anyone but you  
[7:55:33 PM] Trevor Evans: not in a weird way  
[7:55:35 PM] Trevor Evans: just like  
[7:55:44 PM] Trevor Evans: I know you and stuff so it isnt weird  
[7:55:48 PM] Trevor Evans: yeah?  
[7:56:20 PM] Mike Ross: I understand.  
[7:56:27 PM] Mike Ross: We're just so comfortable, you know?  
[7:56:56 PM] Trevor Evans: to be honest I was kinda scared it was going to be awkward  
[7:57:01 PM] Trevor Evans: it was a bit on the way home  
[7:57:40 PM] Mike Ross: Yeah...  
[7:57:43 PM] Mike Ross: it was  
[7:57:59 PM] Trevor Evans: sorry about that  
[7:58:37 PM] Mike Ross: No, man, it's not your fault.  
[7:58:55 PM] Trevor Evans: k  
[7:59:04 PM] Trevor Evans: I wasnt sure if Id done anything  
[7:59:16 PM] Trevor Evans: if youre okay about it Im cool  
[8:00:18 PM] Trevor Evans: obviously you were just overwhelmed by my fantastic kissing skills  
[8:00:23 PM] Mike Ross: Obviously.  
[8:01:24 PM] Trevor Evans: I know Im good and everything just dont be trying for more next time were high okay?  
[8:02:15 PM] Mike Ross: Okay, I promise.  
[8:02:36 PM] Trevor Evans: I would and everything but I dont think Jenny would like it  
[8:03:05 PM] Mike Ross: Did she say something to you?  
[8:03:20 PM] Trevor Evans: no man I was kidding  
[8:03:23 PM] Trevor Evans: you know that right?  
[8:03:28 PM] Trevor Evans: I havent told her yet  
[8:03:36 PM] Trevor Evans: I hope she doesnt actually mind  
[8:04:10 PM] Mike Ross: I hope so, too.  
[8:04:33 PM] Trevor Evans: man  
[8:04:37 PM] Trevor Evans: you knew I was kidding right?  
[8:04:54 PM] Mike Ross: Yeah!  
  
  


Trevor took a deep breath and tried not to freak out. For a second, he'd thought Mike might have thought he was serious about liking the kiss. He didn't want to think about that. Not that that stopped it. It was pretty much what he'd been thinking about non-stop since he'd gotten home on Friday night. He'd decided to tell himself it was no big deal. He was allowed to enjoy a kiss with his friend without it meaning anything. He wasn't sure he believed it, though.

  
  



	2. Everything Is Fine

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Mike and Trevor try to carry on after the events of chapter one the best way that they know how. Apparently, that is shotgunning.

 Mike tried not to think about the kiss on Monday. It was no big deal. Trevor didn't seem to think it mattered at all. Besides, almost all of their essays were due Friday, he didn't have time to worry about a really weird kiss with his best friend.

At lunch, he saw Jenny sitting alone at a table, staring furiously at a book as if willing the words to jump right off the page and into her brain.

“Everything okay?” he asked, sitting down opposite her.

“I guess. I just don't really get this book. Well, I do, I just think I've hit a wall,” she said.

“Anything you don't get in particular?”

“All of the words are running into one,” she said. “Here: An after image is the physiological visual phenomenon that takes place -”

“- after the human eye has been fixed or focused on any visual information?”

“Ugh, how do you know that?” she asked, rolling her eyes.

“Why are you reading about visual literacy? You don't take psych, right?”

“Oh no, it's for art,” she said. “We're doing a theoretical unit and I just _had_ to choose to go down the perception route.”

“It's okay, that whole page is just about how and why you see a negative image if you look at a blank piece of paper after staring at an image for too long.”

“Like those illusion things?”

“Exactly.”

“Hey guys,” Trevor said as he sat down next to Mike.

“I could have moved my books,” Jenny said, half standing up to clear the table next to her.

“Don't worry about it,” Trevor replied. “We have class together next, anyway.”

“I was thinking, do you want to catch a movie Friday night?”

“Can't, babe. Promised Mike he could stay over the next time my parents were out. They've got a wedding to go to.”

“I don't mind, if you want to go out with Jenny.”

It was a lie. He didn't have anything to do on Friday and he didn't feel like watching bad re-runs again, but Jenny looked disappointed.

“No, no, a promise is a promise,” Trevor said with a grin. “We can go out another night, right? Sunday?”

She nodded as the lunch bell sounded. They packed away their things and split off.

 

*

 

Friday came quickly, with Mike helping both Trevor and Jenny with their work. He didn't mind doing it and it made life easier for him when the two people he actually spent any time with weren't nervous about the deadline. There was a collective sigh from the whole school when the deadline rolled over and everyone could quit worrying.

Between now and Christmas break, not much would happen and the teachers joked that they might as well break up now. Mike couldn't think of a better time to stay over at Trevor's

The door was open when he got there so he went in and locked it behind him before going down to the basement. Trevor grinned up at him, a pizza box open on his lap.

“You're late,” he said. “Started without you.”

“Yeah, sorry, had to let Grammy know where I was going.”

Mike settled down next to him and grabbed a slice.

“What? Are we celebrating or something?” Mike asked, motioning to the string of cheese hanging out of the crust.

“I dunno,” Trevor shrugged. “You like it and I owe you for the essay help, man.”

It was true, he'd spent a good part of last week overtired after helping him, but he always felt a little guilty that he did so well at school without even trying, so he didn't mind.

It was a proven fact that bad television was actually made bearable, if not enjoyable, by weed. That was why, two hours later, Mike and Trevor were watching grown men and woman attempting to cross and obstacle course in ill-fitting lycra, both of them convinced that they could do better. When Trevor passed him the joint again, Mike took another hit, ignoring the way it tasted a little familiar. Not the weed, the paper itself. It was making him think back to the kiss and he wasn't prepared to deal with that right now.

Trevor got up from the beanbag to grab some drinks and drag the blanket over. The basement was heated but the heat escaped quickly in the winter. He dropped back down onto the beanbag, handing Mike one of the sodas and offering him a corner of the blanket.

“You want some of this on you, too?” he asked.

Mike nodded so Trevor shook the blanket out over the pair of them, relieved at the sudden warmth.

Sometimes, Mike made it so hard to not just stare at him. He was always so perfect, able to recall anything you needed, ready to help out anyone he could. Trevor knew that on anyone else, it might have seemed arrogant, his kindness looking more like kissing up but Mike seemed immune to the “nice guys finish last” philosophy. At the moment, Trevor just wanted to look at him. He stared at the way his lips tightened a little around the joint when he took a hit, the curve of his nose, the way his eyes were just so bright when he realised that Mike was looking right at him.

“What? You want some?” Mike asked, offering the joint to him.

He didn't. He didn't want to risk completely losing his composure in front of him in case he did something stupid like lean down and kiss him again but he took it anyway, he had to cover up the staring.

Mike just grinned, the way he usually did before they did something stupid and risky. It made Trevor's stomach do a stupid little flip.

“Open your mouth.”

Trevor would have questioned it but somewhere in his hazy mind, he realised that would involve opening his mouth anyway, so he just did it.

He watched as Mike put the joint to his lips, taking a deep drag before moving closer. He was, at most, three inches away when he let out his breath, his lips forming a small o to direct the smoke into Trevor's mouth. Somehow, he managed to take it without choking, the shock not quite registering until he was exhaling again.

“Again?” Mike asked.

He didn't understand why he was doing this all of a sudden, but Trevor wasn't going to say no. He nodded and waited, watching Mike take another drag, before opening his mouth again.

He really felt it the second time around. Mike's breath was warm and it tasted so much better this way. He took it all, resisting the urge to close the gap between them. This time, when he exhaled, Mike was still there, ready to take it back.

 

*

 

Mike thought that this was probably as close as he could get to kissing Trevor without actually doing it. It was strange how close it was to being enough, the exchange intimate, going much deeper than their lips and mouths. Maybe it was just the high but Mike didn't think he'd ever known anything so perfect Then again, just the knowledge that it wasn't a kiss, that he couldn't just kiss him, that ruined it. That was why this could never be as good.

Okay, so maybe he was kind of attracted to Trevor.

He couldn't help it, Trevor might not be the most responsible person he knew but he was fun. He'd had the most fun he'd ever had with him and they could fill an afternoon just talking. Not that they ever talked about anything important. Trevor... excited him? Could he put it like that? He'd be bored to death without him. Not to mention the fact that Trevor was pretty hot. He'd decided that he might as well start admitting that to himself. Everyone thought so, that much was obvious. He was the guy that all the girls would look at but few would actually date (mostly because if they were the type who had to bring their boyfriends home to meet their fathers... there was no hope for them.)

Mike knew he shouldn't find his attitude sexy but he did. He'd thought about it before but had usually chosen to ignore how he felt but now, with Trevor so close, grinning as they swapped smoke? He couldn't ignore how attracted to him he was.

When he got into bed beside Trevor that night, he wondered if he'd be able to map out his freckles from memory.


	3. Dates and Breakups

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Trevor breaks up with Jenny just before the whole school breaks for the holidays.

Monday was quiet. Everyone knew that they had nothing to do. Some teachers still tried to set normal lessons, to get a head start on the material for January but most of them knew that there was no point. Mike walked into Biology, expecting a quiet lesson with a Christmas themed word search. What he didn't expect with to see was a puffy-eyed Jenny walk in looking like someone had died.

She avoided everyone's eyes – especially Trevor's – as she sat down. Mike wanted to ask her what was wrong but the teacher decided to pick that moment to tell them all that they still needed to focus on work before launching into an explanation of the nervous system. Mike let her get on to the differences between motor, sensory and relay neurones before pushing his book towards Jenny and scribbling a quick note.

 

_Are you okay? What's wrong?_

_He didn't tell you?_

_Trevor? No_

_We broke up_

_Why? :(_

_Don't know_

_Are you alright?_

_Not really_

_Want me to talk to him?_

_No_

_Are you mad at me?_

_No_

_You sure?_

_Sure, sorry :)_

 

_*_

 

As soon as they got out of class, Mike grabbed hold of Trevor's wrist. He'd left straight away, obviously trying to get away.

“What the fuck, man?” he asked.

“What?” Trevor asked, as if he didn't have a clue what he could be talking about.

“Don't act dumb. Jenny. Why?”

“Look, it's no big deal, okay? Why are you on her side?”

“What? Did you see her? Just tell me why you did it.”

“Am I not allowed to want to break up with someone? We weren't even together that long.”

People were starting to look at them now, they were standing in the middle of the hallway, shouting at each other. The bell rang, they had to go.

“Couldn't you have at least done it nicely?” Mike asked quickly. He knew Trevor wasn't going to be worried about the time.

“I tried. Really, I did. I told her I just didn't want to do it any more, like I was in some stupid film but then she got all clingy and weird so I just left.”

Mike didn't know what else he could say. He needed to get to class and he knew that if Trevor didn't want to tell him something, he wasn't going to be able to get it out of him in a few seconds.

 

*

 

Trevor sat down at his desk. History was not his greatest subject and he didn't even get to see Mike in it. Then again, considering the fact that he was obviously going to keep asking him about Jenny, maybe that wasn't a bad thing.

He didn't know what to say about breaking up with her. He didn't really know why he'd done it to himself. Even if he had a bit of an issue with their relationship, ending it now rather than later just wasn't like him. There were obvious... benefits to being with her and now Mike was mad at him and he wasn't going to be getting a blow job any time soon. Fantastic.

He waited by the front gate for Mike after school. He expected more questions about Jenny but instead, Mike looked vaguely surprised.

“Guess what?” Mike asked.

“Er, what?”

“I have a date.”

“What? With who?”

“Nicole, she was at the party.”

“The one between us in spin the bottle?”

“Yeah... she just asked me.”

“Oh, cool. Okay.”

“Really? That's all? I was expecting some kind of pep talk or something.”

“Sorry, man,” Trevor replied. “Not really feeling it. Just ended my relationship, remember?”

Yeah, that was how little Trevor wanted to talk about Mike's date. He was willing to bring Jenny to get out of it. Mike reacted exactly how he'd expected. He offered him a sympathetic smile and asked him if he wanted to talk about it.

 

*

 

Mike had been pretty surprised when Nicole had asked him out. He'd been on his way out of school when she'd cornered him by his locker and asked him if he remembered her. She was a year older than him, so he'd never had any classes with her. It had taken him a second or two to place her face but he'd nodded anyway and then she'd asked him if he was doing anything at the weekend.

He wasn't exactly attracted to her but she wasn't bad. She was probably quite pretty but Mike didn't think he was the best person to judge. Still though, a date was a date and he doubted that Trevor would be single for long this time.

By Friday, he was pretty nervous. At lunch, Trevor asked him if he wanted to come back to his and, yeah, he really did. That wasn't normal, was it? Wanting to call off a date so you could go re watch a film or play some video games? He just didn't really know what to do. It was pretty much going to be an experiment, anyway and he felt bad about that. He didn't want to feel like he was using her, he wasn't that guy.

“I can't, can I? I'm going out with Nicole tonight.”

Trevor just rolled his eyes.

“Oh, right. That.”

“How about tomorrow?” Mike asked.

“Oh, I don't know. Maybe I wont be free. Maybe I'll be out with some girl I've never even talked to,” Trevor replied.

“What? Do you have some issue with Nicole?”

“Issue? Oh, I don't know. Maybe I just don't like the idea of my best friend ditching me so he can go out with some slutty girl that he doesn't have anything in common with.”

“Trevor, what the fuck?” Mike asked. “What, are you jealous or something?”

He was trying not to shout but Trevor just made it so difficult sometimes.

“Whatever, man,” was all he got in response as Trevor walked away, leaving half of his food unfinished.

 

*

 

Trevor slid the stall lock shut and leant back against the door. Fuck, that had been out of order. He just... didn't like the idea of Mike being with anyone else. Sure, he didn't really seem to like the girl much, but that was only a small comfort. Tonight, he'd be in the cinema, probably doing everything but watching the film and Trevor just couldn't think about that.

He felt like an idiot, caring so much ab out what Mike was doing. It wasn't like he was going to be able to do anything with him, he wasn't even certain he wanted to or how he felt but he knew he didn't like the idea of him going out with that girl. Still, though, he shouldn't have taken it out on him like that.

 

*

 

It was six o'clock when Mike rounded the corner. She beamed at him as he walked towards her. She was pretty. He'd decided. Sort of. She wasn't not pretty, at least. He took a deep breath and reminded himself why he was here. He was an idiot. An idiot who couldn't say no. An idiot that might be crushing on his best friend a little. An idiot who needed to find out if he still liked girls.

 

*

 

Trevor was idly clicking around online when Mike logged into Skype. It was just gone 9, so his date couldn't have lasted any longer than it should have. Good. He waited for the familiar ping of Mike's message, but it never came. He wasn't going to make this easy for him, was he?

[9 :01:47 PM] Trevor Evans: Hey man

[9:01:59 PM] Trevor Evans: Im sorry about today

[9:02:20 PM] Mike Ross: Are you?

[9:02:33 PM] Trevor Evans: Yeah. I was out of order

[9:02:56 PM] Mike Ross: Yeah, you were.

[9:03:15 PM] Trevor Evans: I know Im sorry

[9:03:19 PM] Trevor Evans: Really

[9:03:38 PM] Mike Ross: Why did you do it?

[9:03:52 PM] Trevor Evans: I dont know. Im a dick

[9:04:10 PM] Mike Ross: Well, I know that. Doesn't answer my question, though.

[9:04:17 PM] Trevor Evans: Haha thanks so much

[9:04:28 PM] Trevor Evans: I dont know sometimes Im just a dick when Im around you

[9:04:39 PM] Mike Ross: What?

[9:04:50 PM] Trevor Evans: I dont know. I guess I was jealous you were right

[9:04:55 PM] Trevor Evans: I didnt like that I had to stay at home without you

[9:05:02 PM] Mike Ross: Oh so you were jealous of her then?

[9:05:44 PM] Trevor Evans: What?

[9:05:56 PM] Mike Ross: Oh go on, admit it, you can't even go one night without me without flipping out. When were you thinking of making an honest man of me?

[9:06:12 PM] Trevor Evans: Hilarious you are killing me with your comedy here

[9:06:19 PM] Trevor Evans: How was the date anyway? See much of the film?

[9:06:26 PM] Mike Ross: Er, well no.

[9:06:39 PM] Mike Ross: It was kinda annoying actually. Every time it seemed to be getting good she insisted on kissing me.

[9:06:47 PM] Trevor Evans: Oh man you should have told her

[9:06:52 PM] Trevor Evans: Back off so I can watch the film

[9:07:08 PM] Mike Ross: We should go watch it together, I really didn't catch much of it.

[9:07:12 PM] Trevor Evans: Maybe

[9:07:17 PM] Trevor Evans: Dont think I wont be tempted to kiss you too though

[9:07:21 PM] Trevor Evans: Your lips are irresistable

[9:07:26 PM] Mike Ross: Oh, I know.

[9:07:31 PM] Mike Ross: I gotta go, Gram wants to hear about it.

[9:07:36 PM] Trevor Evans: K good luck

Trevor didn't know why he always joked about it. It didn't make it any easier. He really did think Mike's lips were irresistable. 

 

*

 

That night, when Mike got into bed, he tried to process everything. The kisses? They'd been fine, but only fine. He hadn't been joking about them interrupting the film. That was fine though, right? So what if he really, really wanted to kiss Trevor again and not some random girl? Maybe he just wasn't that into her. Or maybe he liked Trevor more than he'd previously admitted to himself and he just didn't want anyone else.

Saturday was cold and Mike didn't want to get out of bed. When he finally did and turned his laptop on, the first thing he noticed was that Trevor wasn't online. That was weird. Trevor's near constant online prescence was legendary. Then again, it was before noon on a weekend, so he probably wasn't up yet. When he didn't come on all day, though, Mike couldn't help worrying a little.

 

*

 

Trevor wanted to call Mike but he thought it was probably a good idea to have some time apart. He didn't want to have another stupid outburst again. It was just weird not seeing him. He opened Skype and saw that he was online but he kept his status at invisible. Mike text him and asked if he was okay. He text back, saying he was ill and was just going to go back to sleep. It was a lie but he thought he should try to get his head straight before he saw him again.

 

*

 

Monday was cold and everyone seemed a little subdued. Trevor seemed to have recovered from whatever mystery illness he'd contracted over the weekend, though. They only had two days left until Christmas break and the two of them walked to school together, complaining about how it wasn't fair that they hadn't just finished on Friday.

The teachers seemed to feel the same way and had given up on teaching them anything new. In Biology, the teacher turned off the lights and wheeled in a large tv. Most of the class moved around quickly when they realised that they'd be watching a film. Luckily, Jenny had a friend that say at the front of the class and she moved immediately to go and sit with her.

Mike was relieved. Jenny had stopped scowling at the two of them but Trevor had no tact. Mike wouldn't have put it past him to drag a chair over and join them if she had stayed. 

“What are you planning on doing after we finish tomorrow?” Trevor asked after turning Jenny's chair around and sitting down on it backwards.

Even Mike thought he looked like an idiot, but he always did it. 

“Your parents aren't away again, are they?”

“No, just working late. They said you could stay over if you want.”

Mike thought about it for a second. He knew that sleeping over at Trevor's would confuse him further but there was no way he could so no, not when Trevor was grinning at him like that.

“Sounds good.”

*

 

The next day, everyone was excited. The last day of term was always like this, especially when it was the last day before Christmas break. Some of the girls had brought in mistletoe and had taken to standing under it in the hallways, prompting a few reminders from the teachers to not eat the berries.

Mike shook his head quickly at Trevor during one of these reminders. He wouldn't put it past him.

At lunch, Nicole came up to him nervously and sat down. Trevor, for once, didn't say anything and he was thankful for that.

“Hi,” she said.

“Er... hi.”

“I was wondering... do you maybe want to do something over the break?”

Think fast, think fast.

“I can't. I have a lot of family stuff to sort out,” he lied. “Sorry.”

“Oh. Um, okay. You'll be busy all break?”

“Probably. My Gram usually gets ill when it's cold and we'll have a lot of visitors,” Mike said quickly. Trevor had taught him that oversharing was always good to get out of a conversation.

Nicole nodded before leaving. She looked disappointed.

“What was that about, your Gram is fine, isn't she?” Trevor asked once she was out of earshot. 

Maybe Mike should start giving him more credit.

“Yeah, she's fine.”

“And family? Suddenly have aunts and uncles popping out of the woodwork?”

“No, I just didn't want to see her again, alright?”

“What? Why not?”

“I don't know, it was just awkward last time and I don't want to have to bother with it again. I'm not really into her.”

Trevor shrugged it off. Good. Mike didn't know if it was because he wasn't too bothered or if he knew Mike didn't want to talk about it,but he was grateful either way.

 

*

 

They stopped for a burger on the way back to Trevor's. They were planning on playing some games for quite a few hours straight and they wouldn't be stopping for food.

When they got back to the basement, it was freezing. Trevor would have sworn that it was colder down there than it was outside so he ran upstairs to grab the duvet off of the double bed in the guest room.

When he got back downstairs, Mike had already dragged the beanbag into position and was waiting for him on it.

“You still cold?” Trevor asked as he heaved the duvet over his shoulder when he walked down the stairs.

“Yeah, hurry up and come here,” Mike replied.

Trevor sat on the edge of the beanbag and slid slowly down until he was comfortable, trying to ignore the warmth of Mike against him. He pulled the duvet over them both and just looked up at the ceiling as Mike turned over and snuggled into him.

 

*

 

Mike almost wished they were going to get high again tonight but he knew he shouldn't encourage it – they did that way too often. If they did, though, he might have been able to get away with touching Trevor a bit more. He used the low temperature of the room as an excuse to get close, slipping his head onto his shoulder.

He knew he shouldn't. Trevor was his oldest friend, he shouldn't compromise that but... it wasn't as if he was trying for anything more. He just wanted to be close to him.

“Can we just stay like this for a bit so I can warm up?” he asked.

Trevor smirked and nodded, tightening the duvet around them. As Mike lay there with him, he couldn't help but think that this was all he needed. He was warm and comfortable and wrapped up with his favourite person in the world. He let himself enjoy it, just for a second, without feeling guilty. He was happy. He knew this couldn't go any further but he wasn't sure he wanted it to. So what if he saw his friendship as a little more than that, now? He could have that, without it bothering anyone. If that was all he could have from Trevor, it would have to do.

 


	4. Misunderstandings

 

Trevor woke up with Mike still on his shoulder. He could hear his parents' voices from upstairs, which meant it must have been after six. They'd slept for at least a few hours. He didn't want to wake Mike, not yet. He watched him sleep, his hair sticking up, his cheeks a little flushed and he was overwhelmed with an urge to kiss him. Just then, though, Mike's eyelids started to flutter open.

It wasn't like he would have done it, anyway.

“My parents are back. I think we fell asleep for a few hours,” he said.

“Oh fuck, sorry,” Mike replied, rubbing sleep out of his eyes.

“No, it's alright. Are you tired?”

“Not really, I was just warm and stuff.”

A voice called down from upstairs, asking if they'd eaten or if they needed food. Trevor shouted up to tell his mother they were fine. He was starting to get a little hungry and he thought that maybe Mike was too but he had snacks in the cupboard and cold pizza in his mini fridge and that was usually good enough for them. He really didn't want to have to move.

 

*

 

Mike really loved days when they could just do nothing. He loved that they could just get so comfortable that they fell asleep and neither of them thought that it was strange.

“Ugh, my shoulder hurts,” Trevor said suddenly.

“Sorry, you want me to move?” Mike asked, trying to sit up.

“No, it's cool, just...” Trevor shifted and pulled his arm up from under Mike's head and slipped it around his shoulder. Mike smiled and turned into him. 

Sometimes, he couldn't believe Trvor let him do things like this. He really wanted to slip his arm across him, to make this a proper hug, not just something to make them more comfortable, but he didn't want to make Trevor feel awkward. 

Trevor shifted a little and picked up the remote control. Mike hadn't realised until then that they'd just been sitting together in the dark. He flipped through the channels, passing three or four documentaries (neither of them really enjoyed things like that; Trevor got bored and Mike had usually read about the subject before) until he landed on an old episode of _House_ that Mike knew they'd both seen together at least once.

They watched it anyway.

Mike regretted it pretty soon. The patient had something wrong with their eye, so of course that meant he had to be subjected to a close up of a needle going straight through their pupil. Mike didn't consider himself to be particularly squeamish but needles and eyes? No. That was just wrong.

He thought he was going to be able to take it, watching right up to the point where the needle pierced the cornea but then he buried his head in Trevor's shirt. He heard (and felt) him chuckle softly.

“Oh man, you are such a baby.”

“What?! It's a _needle_ in an _eyeball,_ Trevor.”

Mike didn't want to turn back. He knew the scene was over but he was warm and he could feel Trevor breathing beneath him. After a few seconds, he forced himself to look back up but it had been a mistake. He'd waited too long and somehow, there was blood everywhere. Great. He really shouldn't watch House. He hated hospitals.

This time, Trevor didn't laugh when he flung his arm across his chest. It was a complete accident. Trevor squeezed him tightly and Mike looked up to see him smiling. 

If anyone understood his problem with hospitals, it was Trevor.

 

*

 

Trevor took a deep breath. He had Mike's arm wrapped around him and he just wanted to pull him onto his lap and kiss him. He wanted to just stay like this. He reached down and passed the remote control to Mike so he could put something else on. 

He spent the next hour trying to forget about the fact that Mike seemed to be fine watching the tv with his head on his shoulder. 

“Do you want to do anything tomorrow?” Mike asked suddenly.

“Like what?”

“I don't know, I was just wondering if I was going to have to leave in the morning or not.”

“Nope, my parents still have work, so I was thinking we could just hang out, we'll have the house to ourselves.”

“Good, we haven't in ages. I was thinking we could have a marathon or something.”

Trevor grinned. They hadn't had time for that since summer when they'd watched every underdog sports movie they could lay their hands on.

“I think you read my mind.”

Two episodes of Mythbusters later and Mike was still cuddled up to him and Trevor was still trying to resist running his fingers through his hair.

“You got any food down here?” Mike asked.

“There's chips and stuff in the cupboard and some pizza in the fridge.”

“Pepperoni?”

“Meat Feast. Ugh, we should probably stop living off pizza, right?”

“We're not,” Mike said as he pushed himself off of the beanbag and walked to the fridge. “We had burgers earlier.”

Mike passed him a bottle of coke from the fridge before he'd even had to ask and sat down again with the half empty pizza box on his lap. They split the remaining six slices. 

“Any ideas what we can watch tomorrow? I might have some things at home if you want me to run back at sometime,” Mike said.

“I'm sure I've got something.”

“Make sure it's shitty.”

“Of course.”

 

*

 

They spent the next day watching every bad movie they had ever bought from the bargain bins on a whim. The morning after, Mike went back to his to get more clothes and check on his grandmother (the only reason, really, he could have borrowed clothes from Trevor if he needed them) and was due back any minute.

Trevor was taking the opportunity to spend some extra time in the shower. Thanks to the combination of not jerking off for two nights and spending those nights with Mike pressed up against him, he was more than just a little frustrated. He had one hand bracing himself against the bathroom wall and the other wrapped around his cock. 

He'd given Mike the spare key, so he wouldn't have to worry about him ringing the doorbell any second but Mike had a habit of sitting outside the bathroom door and talking to him if he couldn't find anything to do. Trevor didn't think he'd react well to the sounds he'd probably make if he tried to talk right now.

That morning, he'd woken up to Mike's arms wrapped around him, one of his hands resting precariously on his lower abdomen. He'd spent five minutes prying himself free without waking him up so he could get his erection to go away.

He let himself think about it, now that he could. He remembered the way Mike's head had been resting on his chest and how the loose tshirt he'd given him to sleep in revealed quite a lot of skin. Not that he hadn't seen Mike shirtless before, they'd changed in front of each other enough but it was different. He hadn't even been able to think about the fact that Mike's legs were bare against his, both of them only in their underwear. He thought about it now, how he'd wanted to run his hands over him, to trace the lines of his hips down to his cock and... fuck, he had it bad.

He knew he needed to stop this but he couldn't. He didn't know how. It wasn't like he could stop seeing Mike, he was his best friend. He just didn't know how to stop wanting him so much. It had come out of nowhere and now it was all he could think about. He almost came as he started to wonder if Mike would be good at giving head. He didn't see why not, he seemed to be able to pick everything else up just fine.

He sped up his strokes, imagining what Mike would look like with his lips wrapped around his cock. He slumped against the wall as he came, wincing at the cold of the tiles. He really hoped he hadn't just groaned Mike's name too loudly.

He wrapped a towel around his waist and shook some of the water out of his hair. When he walked into his bedroom to grab some clothes, he wasn't that surprised to see Mike sitting on his bed, but he suddenly felt really underdressed. 

*

 

Mike didn't stare at Trevor, he looked at everything else. He was only wearing a towel and it was wrapped low around his hips. He asked him if he'd brought anything good with him from home and Mike just motioned to bag where his laptop was visibly sticking out. He had a few emulators on there, countless tv shows and movies, he was sure they'd be able to find something. Mike kept his eyes trained on the floor as Trevor pulled some clothes out of his drawers. He tried not to think about how that towel was the only thing stopping him from being completely naked. 

Just for a second, when he was sure Trevor wouldn't see, he let his eyes flick up and then he couldn't tear his eyes away from his back. Trevor's skin was pale, with freckles running over his shoulderblades, down the curve of his lower back and disappearing under that fucking towel. Mike looked away quickly when he turned around and tried to remember how to breathe.

Trevor grinned at him before going back to the bathroom and Mike took the opportunity to do everything he could to get rid of his erection. Trevor seemed oddly calm considering they hadn't been smoking yet. Had he gotten high without him? No, no, Mike was pretty sure he'd have been able to smell it. 

Once he was dressed, they made their way back down to the basement. This place had been like a second home to Mike; he'd spent more time here than anywhere else, really. Trevor grabbed his laptop bag and unzipped it, turning it on and not even pausing at the password screen. It was probably a bad thing, seeing as nobody else would even bother trying to get onto his laptop, but they'd always known each other's passwords. 

“Dude, have you still got all of the Indiana Jones movies on here?” Trevor asked. They were always something to fall back on.

“Yeah, there's a movie folder on the desktop, should be in there somewhere,” Mike replied.“Are we out of soda?”

“Shit, I think so. Should be some in the fridge upstairs.”

Mike got up carefully; getting out of a beanbag was an artform. He ran upstairs as quickly as he could and found a few bottles in the fridge and brought them back down with him. They looked through the files on his laptop once he was back downstairs and found some things to watch. Twenty minutes in, Mike noticed that Trevor kept stealing glances at the cupboard. He sighed.

“I'm up for it,” Mike said. “If you get up and get it, though, I'm comfortable.”

Trevor sighed and mocked rolled his eyes before grinning and getting up. He sorted everything, as usual, something that Mike was always grateful for. The few times he'd tried getting high without him... hadn't gone too well.

“Do you want to move to the couch?”

Ugh, he didn't. He was comfortable but... the idea of them trying to balance the laptop whilst being high on the beanbag? The hinges had a hairline crack from the last time they'd attempted it. Mike nodded and pulled himself up, moving everything on to the small table opposite the couch. It was pretty comfortable on the couch, but they still never really used it.

He watched Trevor light up and take a long drag before he passed it to him. Sometimes he worried that they smoked a little too often but it wasn't a big deal. It was fun and for once his brain didn't seem to be running a thousand miles per hour. It's not like he had to pay for it, either. It was an agreement they'd settled on a while after they'd started getting high together. At first, they'd taken turns, but sometimes Mike couldn't afford it and Trevor hadn't wanted to wait. In the end, he'd said that the weed wasn't as good without him so he'd buy it for himself as long as he had Mike to smoke it with and he wouldn't take no for an answer.

Mike felt his body untense as he felt the weed work through him. The film was over before he knew it and Trevor was already rolling another joint. Mike was half hard in his jeans, maybe he'd learned to associate the heady feeling and the smell that surrounded them with times when he could get away with being a little too physical with Trevor. Or maybe he'd just learned to associate it all with Trevor himself. Mike watched as he lit up again and closed his lips around it, taking a deep drag. His eyes looked heavy and he had that dopey smile Mike was so accustomed to seeing. 

The question that had been on Mike's mind for a while now surfaced again. He knew from experience that this was probably his best chance for a straight answer.

“Trev?”

“Mmm?”

“About Jenny... Are you okay about everything?”

“Yeah, of course, man.”

“You sure? I thought you liked her.”

“I just didn't want a relationship, okay? It started to get serious and I didn't like it.”

“You don't miss her?”

“I miss some of the stuff we did,” Trevor said with a grin. 

Mike didn't know what to say. He didn't really want to think about them together.

“It was pretty hard to end it with her, man. I was pretty sure I was going to get a blow job if I stuck around a few days longer.”

“Alright, Trevor, fuck. Don't wanna know.”

“What? You're suddenly a prude?”

Obviously, they'd spoken about sex, before. Usually when they were high or when Trevor had decided to send him some really weird porn but Mike had never been the one to start any of it. Trevor was the king of oversharing so Mike wasn't sure what he meant.

“Well no, but what? You say that like until now you've thought I was the complete opposite.”

“Nah, I just looked at your internet history when you went upstairs earlier.”

Fuck. Mike tried to think back to what he might have seen. He thought back to the last thing he'd watched and winced. He knew he shouldn't be embarrassed, it was Trevor, they knew (almost) everything about each other but... that last one..

 

*

 

Trevor grinned, the look of panic on Mike's face was kind of funny.

“Chill, it's just porn. I'm sure it's all pretty vanilla,” he said.

He reached out and picked up the laptop, throwing his legs over Mike to stop him from wrestling it out of his hands as he pulled up his internet history. 

“Please tell me you're not thinking of watching porn with me,” Mike said.

Trevor clicked on the first entry on the list that looked promising. He knew that he'd probably regret this later; it was a bad idea, he knew it was but he couldn't stop himself. He couldn't help being really curious about what Mike liked and the thought that he was about to see something that Mike had probably jerked off to was pretty hot.

 

*

 

Mike wanted the ground to open up and swallow him. Trevor had put the laptop back on the table and now an amateur video was buffering. 

“Come on man, it's not a big deal. I'm just curious, I'll keep it in my pants, don't worry,” Trevor said.

The video started to play. It was on a free website, so it was just a ten minute clip that started halfway through. There was a blonde girl straddling a guy's lap on a couch, kissing him whilst she removed her bra. The guy had dark hair, a fair complexion and a strong jawline. He had a few freckles running down his neck. He looked a lot like Trevor. 

Mike looked away. Trevor could look at the porn if he wanted to, he didn't care, not really, but he didn't want him to see him watching it, too. He took the joint when it was passed to him, taking a bigger hit than he should have. He chanced a glance at Trevor; his eyes were glued to the screen. The woman had slid off the man's lap now and was, as Mike knew, about to suck him off.

 

*

 

Trevor felt pretty spaced out. He couldn't believe they were doing this. Mike was looking away from the screen and he felt a little bad that he might be making him feel awkward. 

“Shall I turn it off?” he asked.

Mike just grinned lazily before stubbing out the end of the joint in the ashtray. Trevor moved his legs off of his lap and Mike seemed to relax.

“No. It's just porn, it's cool.”

The girl on the screen was running her tongue along the guy's cock and Trevor couldn't help staring. She was pretty, he could tell, but he wasn't actually attracted to her. He wasn't attracted to the guy either; he wondered if he was attracted to anyone other than Mike right now. That aside, the high created a pleasant thrum underneath his skin and he couldn't help imagining Mike's lips around his cock. He shifted his position, making sure his erection was well hidden and keeping his distance from Mike. They were close, but he was pretty sure physical contact would be a deal breaker right now. 

Talking about sex was one thing but being right next to each other was understandably awkward. Trevor would have been fine if Mike didn't look so good sitting there, his teeth worrying at his bottom lip. Trevor wanted to reach other and pull him towards him.

 

*

 

Mike looked at the screen, keeping his eyes on anything but Trevor. He'd just shifted his position and Mike was pretty sure he knew why. Fuck, he wished he could see. He was pretty sure Trevor had spaced out or was completely taken with the blonde on the screen; he took the chance to palm himself through his jeans, hoping it would relieve his urges or at least distract him from his sudden jealousy. It did neither.

He heard Trevor's breath shake a little and he felt his pulse quicken. He looked at him out of the corner of his eye, watched as his hand dropped to his lap. There wasn't much movement, just the occasional twitch of his arm, a tiny glimpse of tongue darting out to wet his lips. Mike stared at the way his jaw clenched a little. His eyes were dark, looking almost confused – his eyes... shit, Trevor was looking at him. His eyes dropped to his lap and lingered and Mike knew that his erection was probably pretty visible, even in the low light. This could not look good. Mike reacted the only way he knew how.

“Man, I've got a headache, I'm going to head back home. You know Gram doesn't like it when I stay over here for too long, anyway,” he said. He scrambled up quickly, his heart hammering in his chest. He left his laptop, too eager to leave. Trevor just looked at him in confusion, maybe anger, but he didn't say anything.

 

*

 

Mike had moved faster than he had ever seen. Why had he done something so fucking stupid? He'd felt Mike watching him, he knew he was probably too uncomfortable to say anything. He'd just been about to ask him if he'd wanted him to turn the stupid video off again when he'd been the biggest goddamn idiot. He hadn't been able to stop his eyes dropping to his crotch, staring at the way the denim clung deliciously to his cock. Then Mike has scarpered without even taking his laptop.

 

*

 

Once Mike had climbed through his bedroom window (Grammy would be able to smell the pot on him, no problem) he threw himself down on the bed. That was not good, not at all. He'd been practically leering at Trevor and he'd seen and he hoped beyond hope that he would be able to get him to forget about it. He'd been high but Mike knew that it wasn't too hard to shake the haze away. Mike barely felt like he'd been smoking at all tonight, not now. All he could feel was the worry unfurling in his stomach and the insistent throb of his cock as he remembered how good Trevor had looked in that fucking towel.

He'd been ignoring it as much as he could for a while now. Well, if ignoring was jerking off to porn with actors that looked a lot like Trevor, but still, he'd never outright thought about him when he was alone. Not like that. At that moment, though, Mike couldn't help but think about running his tongue over his hipbones, pressing his fingers into his shoulders and feeling how they ran into the dip of his back...

Before long, Mike had his hand in his jeans and he was biting one of his knuckles to keep himself from moaning. He wished he was back in the basement, warm under the duvet, pressed together with Trevor on the beanbag. Mike scrambled to pull his jeans down so he wouldn't end up coming in them. It was quick, frantic but he couldn't help it after everything. He didn't want to think too much about the name that slipped past his lips as he came.


	5. Secrets, Regression and Progression

Trevor stared at his Skype contacts. He hadn't spoken to Mike in three days and it had taken him two to realise that it was probably because he still had his laptop. He'd taken it round last night, around the time he knew Mike took a shower. His grandmother had said she'd give it to him but she'd looked slightly suspicious. It had been a whole day since then and Mike hadn't been online once.

Two more days passed before Trevor really began to worry. Mike hadn't messaged him at all but Trevor couldn't bring himself to do it, either. He didn't know what he should say. _Oh hey man, sorry I was staring at your cock the other day._  
He was kind of glad for once that his house was full of visiting family for the holidays. They were a good distraction – although he couldn't help but feel a little sad that Mike probably didn't have any visitors. He used to joke that he'd swap any time but he knew the holidays could be really hard for him. Christmas Eve came without a word from Mike and Trevor waited until he knew he was showering again to drop his present off. He'd bought it a few weeks before and he waited for Mike's grandmother to answer the door.

“Trevor. Good evening.”

“Hi, Mrs. Ross,” he said.

“Mike's showering, it's a little late.”

“Oh, I know, I'm sorry,” he said, making sure he looked as apologetic as possible. “I just wanted to drop this over. Could you give it to him for me? Tomorrow, I mean.”

He handed her the box; it contained some soda that Mike had really liked before it had gotten discontinued. It had taken a while to find it online but Trevor hoped it would make up for what had happened. 

“Of course. Have you two fallen out?”

“I... don't know.” It was all he could think to say. “Have a good day tomorrow.”

Christmas Day was weird. There were presents and there was food and it should have been fun but Trevor couldn't think about anything but Mike. He hadn't text him yet, or made any attempt to contact him. No “Merry Christmas”, no comment on the present, nothing.

After some of his relatives had arrived, around 3pm, Trevor gave up putting his hone away every time he checked it and just let it rest on his knee. Ten minutes later, he got the message he'd been waiting for:

Mike: Man, THANK YOU! Merry Christmas!

Trevor: I thought you didn't like it or something

Mike: No, only just opened it. We do presents after food. Plus, I had something to do. Check basement. You should probably start locking those windows btw

Trevor grinned and excused himself. He ran down to the basement and saw a large box next to the beanbag with a note attached: _Merry Xmas dude, for your eyes only_

He opened the box quickly and smiled instantly. There were snacks (all of his favourites), a few bottles of beer, some bags of weed and a flash drive. He pulled his phone out again.

Trevor: This is amazing. Thanks! Not sure if I'll be able to enjoy it properly on my own, though.

Mike: Duh. I did think we could use it together. Maybe tomorrow?

Trevor: So basically you're giving me you for christmas? 

Mike: You don't want me? So ungrateful :(

Trevor: 12 oclock? Parents are going to see family.

Mike: Yeah, I'll be there. We need to catch up.

Trevor: Agreed. Gotta get back upstairs. See you soon.

He would have signed it with a kiss as a joke but considering the circumstances, he thought that might be a bad idea. He picked up the box and locked it away where he usually kept things he needed to hide. Mike hadn't mentioned anything – it was as if nothing had happened. He could work with that.

 

*

 

Mike said goodbye to his Grammy and left his house at half eleven. He'd get there a little early, even if he walked slowly but he'd been waiting all morning. He was sort of nervous, he hadn't wanted to contact Trevor before but as soon as he'd seen his present, he'd known they were okay. Trevor hadn't brought up what had happened on the phone and Mike wasn't going to if he didn't.

The two of them didn't actually drink very often because, funnily enough, it was easier and cheaper to get hold of weed. Sometimes they did, though. Mike always felt a little bit better about it when they did, as if, because alcohol was more socially acceptable, it didn't seem like they had a problem. Not that they did, not really, it just seemed a little weird when Mike realised that they spent more time together high than not.

Mike wondered if he'd smoke as much if he didn't have a crush on Trevor. By the time he got to his house, he was mad at himself for acting like it was nothing, like it was just a crush. It wasn't. It wasn't something entirely separate from their friendship and he was happy for everything to stay how it was, he just wished he could let Trevor know how much he meant to him.

That and he was really fucking attracted to him suddenly but that wasn't the point.

The point was that Trevor had just opened the door and he was grinning like he always did and it was like nothing bad had happened at all. Okay, so when they sat down on the beanbag, they didn't slip together like they usually did, but at least Trevor hadn't gone straight for the couch.

They had a beer each whilst discussing how their Christmasses had been and it suddenly hit Mike that this was the longest that they'd ever gone without seeing each other.

 

*

 

Trevor listened to Mike tell him about how he'd managed to beat his Grammy at chess twice, which was apparently quite an achievement. He tried to keep his mind off of anything out of bounds (like how warm Mike's leg felt against his own) as Mike told him about his new bike. Trevor had made the decision that they weren't going to get high again. He was being sensible for once in his life. He didn't need a repeat of last time.

“Did you look on the flash drive yet?” Mike asked.

“Yeah! Fuck, it's amazing, man.”

In the excitement of having Mike back, he'd completely forgotten. The flash drive had every episode of Battlestar Galactica. They'd been talking about marathoning it for ages now.

“Want to watch some today?”

*

 

Three episodes of Battlestar Galactica and two bottles of beer later and Mike was beginning to feel that familiar haze. It wasn't anything to do with them getting high or drunk, he knew that. It was because, even if they weren't talking, Mike knew that they could. He didn't like to think about it but there had been times when it had all been too much: his parents' deaths, caring for his Grandmother, his freakish brain... and Trevor had been there for him. Mike knew that if he ever told anyone, Trevor would deny everything but if anything, that made it even better.

Trevor wasn't the kind of person that wanted to know everyone's business and he was too lazy to help people just to make himself feel like a hero. Despite all that, he still helped Mike whenever he could. That was why Mike needed to address this.

“About the other day...” he said quickly.

“I don't really know what happened, okay? I was high,” Trevor said.

“I'm sorry for walking out like that.”

“No, man, I get it. It was awkward.”

 

*

 

Trevor didn't understand. Why was Mike apologising?

“I missed you, man. I really thought I'd fucked it up badly,” he said.

“Don't be an idiot. It's _us_.”

“Yeah, I know, but I didn't hear from you so I thought... I don't know.”

*

 

“Why didn't you contact me, then?” Mike asked.

“I... don't know.”

There was something about the way Trevor was looking at him. He looked serious. Maybe it was because he so rarely did but when he looked serious, it made Mike's heart flip. He wanted to kiss him, to make everything okay again. There was only a second before he broke into a grin.

“Whatever, man, it's cool.”

 

*

 

Once Mike had left after six whole episodes and a few deliberations over whether or not to get high, he sat in his room, staring at his Skype contacts. It was seven pm and Trevor knew that Jenny didn't work tonight. Not that she'd been visibly online to him since they'd broken up. He wanted to explain himself, at least lie enough to make her feel better. If just for Mike, he knew that it had been getting to him that they didn't really speak in class any more. Trevor still had her number. He send her a quick text:

Trevor: Can you unblock me on Skype? Want to talk – need to explain.

Trevor wasn't sure if he expected her to do it, not straight away at least, so he was surprised when she came online.

 

[7:07:37 PM] Jenny Griffith: What is it?

[7:07:44 PM] Trevor Evans: Can we talk?

[7:08:02 PM] Jenny Griffith: I guess, what is it?

[7:08:11 PM] Trevor Evans: Im sorry

[7:08:15 PM] Jenny Griffith: For what?

[7:08:24 PM] Trevor Evans: For not giving you a reason and being a dick

[7:08:37 PM] Jenny Griffith: You're always a dick. I'm over it now.

[7:08:50 PM] Trevor Evans: Then why do you still seem mad at Mike? It's not his fault

[7:08:59 PM] Jenny Griffith: I'm not mad at Mike

[7:09:15 PM] Jenny Griffith: So are you going to give me a reason?

[7:09:21 PM] Trevor Evans: I cant

[7:09:25 PM] Jenny Griffith: What?

[7:09:30 PM] Jenny Griffith: Why not?

[7:09:46 PM] Trevor Evans: Dont want to lie to you and I cant tell you the actual reason. Im just sorry okay?

[7:09:57 PM] Jenny Griffith: Fine. Well thanks for nothing.

[7:10:05 PM] Trevor Evans: Its personal 

[7:10:10 PM] Jenny Griffith: I'd expect so. What is it, do you like someone else?

 

Trevor thought about it. He thought about why he'd asked Jenny out in the first place. She was nice enough and he knew if he was going to be attracted to anyone that wasn't Mike, it would be her. She was sort of a test. That and she was obviously into Mike. He'd asked her out to make sure she stopped flirting with him. He knew it was stupid. He couldn't do this to every woman that ever showed interest in Mike. That wouldn't be fair on him or them but he just couldn't stand to think of Mike with anyone else. 

 

[7:10:36 PM] Trevor Evans: Maybe? I dont know

[7:10:44 PM] Jenny Griffith: Tell me. You owe me that much.

[7:10:54 PM] Trevor Evans: No I don't. Not that much.

[7:10:58 PM] Trevor Evans: Sorry.

 

Trevor wished he could tell someone. He sort of wished he could tell Jenny in the hopes that it might stop her trying to flirt with Mike in the future. Then again, Trevor was pretty sure that show wouldn't, on principal. It didn't look very good to go through friends like that.

 

[7:11:08 PM] Jenny Griffith: It's that big of a deal? Are you okay?

[7:11:13 PM] Trevor Evans: Im fine

 

Jenny was too nice for her own good. He did like her, though. They'd grown pretty close in the time they'd spent together. If it hadn't been for the breakup and the nature of his secret, he probably would have trusted her with it.

 

[7:11:36 PM] Jenny Griffith: Okay, well if you need anyone to talk to about it, I'm here.

 

 

*

 

The first day back to school was depressing. Everyone had gotten used to staying up late and by second period, the excitement of seeing friends again had worn off. Jenny smiled at him when she sat down and Mike raised his head a little to acknowledge her.

“You look tired,” she said.

“Thanks.”

“No, I mean -”

“It's cool, I am.”

Just then, Trevor walked in, somehow looking fine. He was used to sleep deprivation; Mike would bet that he hadn't had a proper sleeping pattern in years. He grinned at Mike before shifting his eyes to Jenny momentarily. For once she didn't scowl. She didn't smile, but it was close.

“Good Christmas?” he asked.

“Yeah, it was fun.”

It was definitely a lot more friendly than the last time he'd seen her. Had Trevor sorted things out with her?

*

 

Mike was in the library, studying. He did that sometimes, saying that if he didn't read it, he couldn't remember it. Trevor knew that he was just worrying when he didn't need to. It was cute, but nothing could get Trevor into the library. He didn't mind eating alone.

“Can I sit down?” It was Jenny.

“Uh, sure.”

“Are you actually okay?”

She was pulling that face, the one she always pulled when she thought that she knew something. She usually did.

“Why do you even care?” he asked. It came out harsher than he'd meant it to.

“Oh, sorry, I'll just leave then, shall I?”

“No – wait. I didn't mean it like that. I just... I was a dick, why do you care how I am?”

“I guess I can't help it. You have some mystery crush and apparently it's important.”

“It's not a crush.”

“My point exactly.”

“I'm fine.”

“Are you going to tell him?”

Trevor's stomach lurched. What?

“Jenny, I don't know what you're thinking but...”

“I'm not stupid. If it's more than a crush, enough that you need to defend it, you obviously know them,” she said.

“Seriously are you saying I'm gay?”

“Tell me it isn't him.”

“Jenny...”

“Go on, tell me. I dare you. Tell me, say it like you mean it. Convince me.”

Trevor looked at her and steeled himself. 

“It isn't Mike.”

“See, I never mentioned Mike.”

“What? You implied it.”

“Why wont you just be honest with me? It's not like I'd care, I'm not judging you, I'm just trying to help.”

He really wished he had someone to talk to about it. Besides, it looked like Jenny had already made up her mind. It seemed counterproductive to spend time convincing her that it wasn't Mike. He rolled his eyes at her and sighed, nodding.

“Okay. I wont tell anyone. I promise.”

She was smiling, a warm genuine smile. Suddenly, Trevor was full of feelings for Jenny. Not those feelings, not the sorts of feelings he should have for her, but feelings nonetheless. She was nice even after everything.

“Thanks.”

 

*

 

Lunch with Jenny had been strange. He'd explained everything to her. Well, almost. He'd explained how he felt about Mike. He'd told her how there was nobody else like him, how he thought he still liked girls but right now, he didn't like anyone but Mike. She didn't judge him, she barely even said a word until he'd gotten it all out. He'd be lying to himself if he said it hadn't helped. 

When the bell had rung, she'd asked if there was anything she could do. There wasn't. What could anyone do? He appreciated it anyway.

 

*

 

Mike couldn't help thinking that somehow, they'd regressed. He'd kissed Trevor, then shotgunned with him and now? He'd gone the longest he ever had without seeing him and now they were just getting back to normal. Maybe he could try the shotgunning again, Trevor had been fine with that before. No. He was being stupid. He wouldn't ever be able to have more with him and he needed to stop kidding himself.

Still, he couldn't think about much else when he arrived at Trevor's on Friday night, armed with Doritos, ready to continue their Battlestar Gallatica marathon.

All of that was probably why Mike didn't object to Trevor cracking out the weed. By the time the second episode was over, Mike was high enough to seriously consider it, so he took the second joint and lit it.

“Already?” Trevor asked. He'd only just put out the last one.

“Wanna try something?”

“Like what?”

“Um... the thing we did before? It's supposed to hit you faster that way.”

They weren't that high yet, they'd gone through all of the good stuff on New Year's and now they only had what Trevor liked to call _back up pot_. Trevor looked apprehensive but he nodded so Mike did the same as before. He took a deep hit, letting the smoke fill his lungs. Trevor had already turned towards him, his lips slightly parted. Mike lined up, resisting the overwhelming urge to kiss him and let himself exhale. He watched Trevor's eyes flutter closed and Mike waited, waiting for him to exhale. It was strange doing it like this. The burn of the smoke was missing as he breathed it in again and had been replaced by something else: a humid pull of a sensation that coiled tight in his stomach. Mike thought about it for a little too long, forgetting where he was and he forgot to breathe out, wanting to keep Trevor's breath in him. Trevor laughed when he started to cough and pant for air. He took a deep gulp of a breath that flooded his chest with icy, harsh feelings. He needed to go again. He passed the joint to Trevor with a weak “your turn” and watched, mouth slightly agape, as Trevor wrapped his lips around it.

He felt the throb of his pulse through him as he watched him, the way it quickened as Trevor grinned at him, the way it beat harder in his neck and chest, in his cock as it began to harden. Trevor leaned forwards and then the smoke ran through him. He tried not to focus on how close his lips were but they were right there. Then they weren't.

They were close, touching his. Not moving, just connecting the seal as the last dregs of smoke passed between them. Mike couldn't help it. He moved his lips, closed them against Trevor's and kissed him. It was only for a second because they both needed to breathe. A second to exhale and then he realised what he'd done and that Trevor was now staring at him in horror.

“Sorry,” Mike said and he didn't know if it was the weed or the almost-kiss but his brain wasn't working. Had Trevor just apologised at the same time?

“Why are _you_ sorry?” Trevor asked, a frown passing across his face. “I kissed you.”

“I moved my lips. You just put yours there,” Mike replied, trying to urge his brain to work.

“I chickened out.”

“Well I kissed you back, then.”

Mike grabbed the joint and put it out and then kissed Trevor again.

 

*

 

Eventually, they'd look back on this as their first kiss (because spin the bottle shouldn't count, even if it did start everything). It was everything a first kiss tended to be: confused, slightly awkward and a little over passionate. It quickly melted into a second kiss that was a little better and once they'd repositioned for a third (Mike with his hips between Trevor's knees, lying flush against him)everything went much more smoothly. 

Mike pushed the thoughts in his head down, the ones telling him needed to stop because Trevor didn't want this like he did, that he was only doing this because he was high. They were kissing and he would take whatever he could get.

 

*

 

Trevor felt the high he had drain out of him the moment he got a lap full of Mike Ross. Somehow this was happening and he started to hope that this wasn't another dream (because, yes, he'd had this dream but he couldn't remember ever questioning whether he was dreaming in a dream and this felt much too real) as Mike kissed him. He tasted like smoke and soda and _Mike_ and Trevor didn't want to stop. He wrapped his arms around his shoulders to hold him there, letting his fingers feel the way his shoulder blades were raised slightly as he held himself up.

He was briefly aware that he couldn't breathe and then Mike was pulling away, inhaling deeply. He saw a flash of blue eyes as Mike looked at him and for a second, he thought that it was all over. Trevor expected him to pull away, run home and never talk to him again, but he didn't. Mike kissed him again, running his tongue over his lips and Trevor couldn't help but wonder why he was doing it. 

It wasn't like Mike to do something on a whim, but still, Trevor wouldn't accept that this was what he wanted. He just didn't get that lucky. He squashed his feelings of doubt down and focused on the feeling of Mike in his arms and the way his teeth were nipping at his lips.

Then his world turned upside down when Mike shifted in his lap, rolling his hips down and Trevor almost choked. The friction, Mike moving against the erection he'd had since Mike had suggested shotgunning again, it was almost too much. Another sensation ran up his spine and he groaned as he realised he could feel Mike's cock, just as hard as his own. He watched Mike's eyes flutter closed as he rolled his hips again, he felt the soft puff of air on his nose as Mike moaned softly. He wanted to do more than just sit there, to make Mike sound like that again but he didn't want to scare him off.

“Fuck, Trev,” Mike groaned and, oh fuck, he wanted to hear that again.

“Mike,” he breathed. “We should, uh...”

Trevor motioned to his jeans. He didn't expect much more than this but he was desperate for more direct contact. Mike fumbled with his own and Trevor undid his jeans, pushing them down over his hips. He looked for way too long at the way Mike's underwear tented out before he peeled them down too. Trevor followed suit, expecting, hoping for Mike to move back down, finish what they'd started. He was surprised when, instead, Mike reached down and grabbed his hand, bringing it up to close around both of their cocks. Trevor hissed, drawing in a deep breath between his teeth at the contact. He wanted to look everywhere, at the dopey grin on Mike's face, at their cocks pressed together in his hand... but then Mike was kissing him again, thrusting into his hand and all conscious thought was gone from his mind.

 

*

 

Mike had gone for it. As soon as Trevor had suggested that they eliminate their jeans from the equation, he had jumped at the chance to push it further. He might have pushed it too far but there would be time for regrets and apologies later. Trevor seemed to be going along with it and Mike couldn't focus. All there was was the friction of them thrusting along each other, his hand squeezing gently, holding them together. He was going to lose it annoyingly fast and he wanted to slow it down, to make this last longer but he couldn't. His hips seemed hell bent on driving his cock forwards into Trevor's fist.

Trevor didn't seem like he'd hold out much longer either, he was panting, rocking his hips in time with Mike's. Mike could feel his hand tightening slightly, each thrust slick now with precome. 

“Mike... Fuck, I can't -” Trevor breathed, his words catching in his throat and Mike knew he only had seconds. He thrusted harder, leaning down to kiss Trevor, biting his lips like he'd seemed to like earlier. He felt him moan into the kiss, his fingers tightening around them as he came. The first spurt seemed to vibrate right through him, tipping him over the edge.

They stayed together like that for a while until they really had to do something about the mess. Trevor fished a box of tissues out of the cupboard (of course he'd have those down here). They both cleared up the best they could and Mike watched Trevor closely. He wasn't sure what he was supposed to do now. Trevor had been going along with everything when it meant getting off but he might be about to freak out. He just stretched and yawned.

“Mikey? I'm tired,” he said.

Trevor was looking at the bed and Mike knew that it might be the only way to put off what had just happened. He really didn't want to have to leave yet. He followed Trevor over to the bed and got in after stripping down to his tshirt and underwear. They lay together in silence for a while and when Mike heard Trevor's breathing deepen, he turned over, letting his hand rest on top of his.

 

*

 

Trevor wanted to open his eyes, he needed to know if Mike was awake. He'd pretended to be alseep, worried that he might have to talk about what had happened. Then Mike had slid his hand down and resting on top of his own. Mike had to be asleep.

 


	6. Post Blowjob Protocol

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Jenny jumps in and saves the day.

Trevor awoke with a start. Mike wasn't next to him in bed and for some reason that he couldn't place, that bothered him. He rolled over to the edge of the mattress and saw the note. 

_Sorry about last night. Was high. See you later – M_

Fuck, of course Mike had run away. He hadn't wanted it, Trevor had been right and now he might have screwed up their friendship. Again.

 

*

 

Mike was standing under the shower, the hot water pounding his head and neck. What had he done? Sure, Trevor had gone through with it but Mike thought back and realised that he hadn't initiated anything. As soon as he'd woken up, Mike had left a note before leaving as fast as he could.

If Mike had been sure that Trevor wouldn't have woken up, he might have watched him for a little longer. Sometimes he spoke in his sleep, never about anything important but Mike had sat and listened to him for a while before. He knew that if he mentioned it to Trevor, he'd deny it completely. He'd probably deny that he snored, too.

 

*

 

Jenny was online. Good.

 

[11:05:31 AM] Trevor Evans: Hi can we talk?

[11:05:38 AM] Jenny Griffith: Sure, is something wrong?

[11:05:42 AM] Trevor Evans: Why would anything be wrong?

[11:05:49 AM] Jenny Griffith: You're up before noon and you started talking to me straight away.

[11:05:53 AM] Jenny Griffith: Something's wrong

[11:05:56 AM] Jenny Griffith: Tell me

[11:06:03 AM] Trevor Evans: Uh

[11:06:06 AM] Trevor Evans: I kissed Mike

[11:06:09 AM] Jenny Griffith: What?

[11:06:13 AM] Jenny Griffith: What did he do?

[11:06:16 AM] Trevor Evans: He ran off

[11:06:18 AM] Jenny Griffith: Shit

[11:06:22 AM] Trevor Evans: Well not right away

[11:06:29 AM] Jenny Griffith: ?

[11:06:33 AM] Trevor Evans: He kissed me back and we sort of did other things

[11:06:36 AM] Jenny Griffith: Like what?

[11:06:40 AM] Trevor Evans: Do I have to go into it?

[11:06:43 AM] Jenny Griffith: Just the rough area? I want to help

[11:06:47 AM] Trevor Evans: We sort of

[11:06:51 AM] Trevor Evans: I jerked us both off

[11:06:55 AM] Jenny Griffith: He let you?

[11:06:59 AM] Trevor Evans: He started it

[11:07:05 AM] Trevor Evans: we were high

[11:07:09 AM] Trevor Evans: he moved my hand

[11:07:13 AM] Jenny Griffith: and then?

[11:07:16 AM] Trevor Evans: We slept

[11:07:19 AM] Trevor Evans: He was gone when I woke up

[11:07:23 AM] Jenny Griffith: Right.

[11:07:25 AM] Jenny Griffith: Did he leave a note or anything?

[11:07:29 AM] Trevor Evans: Yeah

[11:07:32 AM] Trevor Evans: It just said sorry and stuff

[11:07:36 AM] Jenny Griffith: Right so he kissed you back and started everything else?

[11:07:39 AM] Trevor Evans: Yeah but that doesn't mean he wanted it does it?

[11:07:42 AM] Jenny Griffith: Calm down.

[11:07:45 AM] Jenny Griffith: Did you start anything? Maybe he's worried he pushed you to do it and now you'll be mad?

[11:07:47 AM] Trevor Evans: Idk

[11:07:52 AM] Jenny Griffith: You didn't do anything wrong. It's not like he can freak out at you for it

[11:07:55 AM] Trevor Evans: No but he's still freaking out!

[11:08:02 AM] Jenny Griffith: Yes but it's not your fault. You two are best friends. You'll be fine.

[11:08:09 AM] Trevor Evans: I guess

[11:08:12 AM] Jenny Griffith: Are you okay? 

[11:08:15 AM] Trevor Evans: Sure

[11:08:19 AM] Jenny Griffith: How about we go out today? Pizza on me?

 

Trevor thought about it. He liked Jenny. He was especially fond of her now that she was taking time out for him when she didn't need to. Now she was offering him pizza.

 

[11:08:29 AM] Trevor Evans: Okay when?

[11:08:31 AM] Jenny Griffith: 2?

[11:08:35 AM] Trevor Evans: Sure... yeah sounds good.

[11:08:39 AM] Jenny Griffith: Okay I've got to go sort something first. Meet me at the usual place?

[11:08:42 AM] Trevor Evans: Sure, see you then.

*

 

Jenny sighed. She still cared about Trevor, even though she knew she shouldn't. She just couldn't imagine him not being friends with Mike. Even when they'd first been dating, Trevor would always blow her off to hang out with him, although, knowing what she did now, she wasn't surprised. She should have been angry but she didn't see the point. Trevor hadn't needed to tell her. He hadn't had to apologise. Now he seemed worried and he never seemed worried. 

She wished that she had a little more time so she could talk to Mike, to find out how he felt about everything. She was a little concerned but she thought she knew him. She couldn't imagine him doing something he didn't want to, not even if he was high. Jenny found her phone and sent him a quick text message:

_Can we talk? Meet for pizza at 2:15? Usual place?_

Mike responded quickly:

_Sure, I'll see you there._

 

_*_

 

Trevor walked across the street to their regular pizza place. Jenny waved at him from the inside and he went in to join her. She smiled at him properly for the first time since they'd broken up. He wanted to hug her, then he wanted to kick himself for being so needy. He was supposed to want to kiss her and (possibly) get support from Mike, not the other way around.

“Hey,” she said. “I got you a milkshake.”

Fuck, his favourite. Why couldn't it be this easy with Mike? Except it was, that was what he loved. Mike knew his favourite everything but as soon as he wanted more, it was complicated. Mike was... standing in the doorway looking shocked.

“Hey,” he said when he joined them at the table.

“Why are you here?” Trevor asked. Mike frowned, the way he always did when he was hurt but didn't want to show it. “I mean, I wasn't expecting you to be here, too.” He didn't want Mike to think he was mad at him.

“Um, Jenny invited me,” he said, looking at her quickly.

“Sorry,” she said, throwing up her hands. “I wanted to get you both here.”

They both looked at her, confused. Trevor noticed that Mike was purposely avoiding his eye.

“I just thought maybe we could hang out? I mean, I know we're not together any more,” Jenny said, looking at Trevor. “I just thought maybe we could do something together.”

Trevor knew that was a cover for whatever she was actually planning but she sounded genuine. They had hung out together a little when they'd been dating. 

“So why didn't you tell us it was going to be all three of us?” Mike asked.

“I thought you might be a bit too worried about what Trevor would say,” she replied. “You know, cause we haven't done this since the breakup.”

“So you just offered us both free pizza and knew we'd turn up?” Trevor asked. He thought he might as well play along.

“Well it worked, didn't it?”Jenny laughed a little and Mike smiled, but he still avoided eye contact with Trevor. 

Trevor realised why Jenny might want to fix things for him. She'd been friendly with Mike but since they'd split up, it had probably been pretty awkward. He just let her speak, hoping she had a bit of a plan, at least.

“So, how have you guys been?” she asked.

Trevor took a sip of his milkshake before answering. Mike was looking down at his hands. 

“I've been good... we've been good, right?” 

Mike looked up and sort of nodded. Trevor knew that if Jenny hadn't already known what had happened, she would have been suspicious. Before she could say anything else, a waitress asked if they were ready to order.

“I'll have a small hawaiian and... you guys usually split a large pepperoni, right?” Jenny said. Mike and Trevor both nodded. 

“And to drink?”

Trevor still had half of his milkshake left but Jenny and Mike both ordered sodas.

“Guys, is there something wrong? Have you two fallen out or something? Jenny asked as soon as the waitress left. She was going to cut straight to it, then. She was looking right at him, like she expected him to say something.

 

*

 

Mike watched Trevor shift in his seat. Jenny was looking back and forth between them. Mike didn't know what to say. He was surprised when Trevor spoke first.

“We hung out last night and Mike disappeared when I was asleep.”

“Really?” Jenny asked, but she didn't sound surprised. Had Trevor said something to her?

Their pizzas and drinks arrived but Jenny didn't drop it.

“Why did you leave, Mike,” she asked. “Did something happen?”

Trevor was glaring at her now, like he'd give anything to shut her up.

“Yeah. It was my fault and I didn't want it to be awkward in the morning, so I left.”

“But you're fine with what happened?” Jenny asked. Mike would bet she knew a lot more than she should. Trevor was suddenly very interested in his pizza.

“No, I mean, I started it. Why would I have a problem with it?” Mike replied.

Trevor looked up quickly. It was the first real eye contact they'd shared since last night. 

“Did you... well you were high, right? Would you have done it sober?”

 

*

 

Jenny wanted to knock their heads together. She knew how Trevor felt for sure, but Mike? He seemed nervous but he wasn't angry and had apparently started it. It looked to her like they both wanted the same thing but neither of them wanted to say it first. If she'd had a chance to confirm it first, she could just put an end to this.

“Well I probably wouldn't have just... gone for it, no,” Mike replied. “But, um, it wasn't bad.”

Trevor's hand had paused on the way to grabbing a slice of pizza. 

“Man, I'm not saying I'm going to leap on you whenever we're high or anything,” Mike said quickly. 

Mike was grinning but Jenny had seen this before. When Mike couldn't see a way out, he bulldozed through, getting it over as quickly as possible.

“I'm okay with it, too,” Trevor said. “I just thought you weren't.”

“Why wouldn't I be okay with it?” Mike asked.

“Er... you ran? I woke up and you were gone.”

“I did it all. I thought you were going to be mad once the high had faded.”

“There. See? Whatever you two did, you're both fine with it, okay?” Jenny said. Finally. 

She watched the two of them grin at each other, the way they did across classrooms and she didn't know why she hadn't seen it before. They needed each other.

 

*

 

Mike got home and sat on his bed. He needed to find a way to thank Jenny; if they had stopped talking for as long as they did before Christmas, Mike would have gone insane. His phone buzzed in his pocket a few hours later, just after Grammy had gone down for a nap.

_Trevor: Can I come round?_

Mike sighed and got up to open his window. If he had texted him, he was already on his way. Sure enough, seconds later, Trevor turned the corner and waved at him from the street. Mike watched as he effortlessly climbed the tree next to his window and rolled in, landing softly on his bed.

“Hey, man,” he said quietly. “I got bored.”

“Oh?” Trevor always invited him over to his when he was bored. Mike usually went.

“Okay, fine, my mom was in a mood. I did want to see you, though.”

He was leaning back, arms behind his head and Mike just wanted to kiss him again. Or at least ask him about what was happening with them. No, no, he couldn't. It was fixed now. Apparently, though, Trevor _could_ bring it up.

“Mikey? Were you really cool with everything or was that just for Jenny?”

Mike opened his mouth to speak but it took him a while to know what he wanted to say.

“I'm... fine with it. I don't even know why I thought it was such a big deal.”

“Yeah, I mean... it was practically masturbation, right?”

Mike nodded, even though he didn't want to play it down like that. Trevor was just being Trevor, though. 

“It was... better... but yeah,” he said.

“You wanna go again?” Trevor asked.

“Uh... if you do.”

Fuck, he wanted to. He wanted to more than anything. He just didn't want to scare Trevor off. He couldn't help it, even now, even after Trevor had asked him, he was worried about ruining it. It all seemed too perfect, he kept expecting it to come crashing down around him.

“Look man, you're my oldest friend. It felt good, it's no big deal, if you want to, c'm'ere,” Trevor said, moving closer to the wall to make room for him on the bed.

Mike crawled onto the edge of the bed and kissed him. Maybe if he'd thought about it, he wouldn't have done it. If he'd really thought it through, he probably would have stopped himself before kissing someone that might not feel the way he now knew that he did. He might have hesitated, at least, but he was a teenager and very possibly in love so he didn't. For the second time in 24 hours, Mike felt like he didn't ever want to move. This time, though, there was no heady feeling, not even the tiny lingering haze that had clung to his brain after the shock of Trevor's lips on his.

Now, he could feel everything. He didn't know what to focus on, he got preoccupied for a second with the way Trevor's fingers were brushing up and down his spine.

 

*

 

Trevor couldn't believe this was happening. Again. One thing he did know was that he hoped they wouldn't have to get high to do it again. This was so much better than before. It was probably a little bit to do with not having to worry about Mike running away again but Trevor thought it was more to do with how much more he was aware of now. There was no buzzing in his ears muffling the sound of Mike's breathing. Time was running at a normal pace, he was grounded, focused, completely sure that he was kissing Mike.

The taste of him was now a familiar one and, if he thought about it, it was exactly how he would have expected him to taste. It was somehow soft, safe, warm... Mike was moving again, just like before and Trevor forgot what he was thinking about. His cheeks were flushed with arousal and slight embarrassment; whenever their eyes met, he grinned and blushed harder. Trevor pulled on Mike's tshirt a little, moving him on top of him and he gasped when he felt him grind down on his cock.

“You're really okay with this?” Mike asked.

“Looks like it.” Trevor grinned and kissed Mike quickly.

“You don't think it's weird or anything?”

Mike was hesitant, like he was worried. Trevor wanted to tell him that everything was fine but he didn't know how to put it. He didn't want Mike thinking he might have a problem with this.

“C'mon Mikey, it's us. We've done weirder.”

It was pretty much a catchphrase, they'd always done worse or weirder or stupider, but this time he didn't think that they had. Mike just huffed a small breath of a laugh before raising his eyebrows.

“What if we did something else?” he asked.

“Like what?”

“Um... well you said you never got a blow job from Jenny, right?”

Fuck. Trevor felt his cock twitch in his jeans. Was Mike offering to suck him off? Granted, it was probably only so he would reciprocate but wasn't that how all sex worked? 

“You want to... uh... try that?” he asked cautiously. 

Mike nodded and Trevor noticed how bright his eyes seemed.

“Okay. Um, how? You want to take it in turns?” Trevor asked.

“I guess, yeah... I don't mind doing you first, unless you want to go last,” Mike blurted out much too quickly. “You know, so you have a reason to do me.”

Trevor wanted to tell Mike that he would be more than happy to suck his cock. He wanted to reassure him and tell him that he wanted nothing more than to explore all of him with his tongue but he didn't.

“No, that sounds good. Uh, if that's what you want.”

Mike grinned and kissed him hard before sliding off of him. Mike's bed was a single so it was awkward and Mike had to press right up against him but Trevor didn't mind. He slipped an arm around him to make sure he didn't fall off as Mike started to fumble with the zip of his jeans. Just the feeling of his hands brushing over the bulge of his erection made Trevor shudder and he gasped as Mike finally unzipped him and slid his hand into his underwear. He felt Mike's fingers close around his cock as he pushed his underwear down quickly with his other hand. Mike started to stroke him slowly, shifting down on the bed to press quick kisses to his hips. 

Caught up in the feeling of Mike's fingers, Trevor had almost forgotten where this was leading. He looked down quickly, just in time to see Mike's eyes flick up at him before he slipped his mouth over the head of his cock. Trevor hadn't been nearly prepared for the feeling of Mike's mouth; it was all he could do not to lace his fingers into Mike's hair and hold him there. That was before he even started to do anything. 

Trevor bit his lip hard, remembering that Mike's grandmother was asleep, not wanting to wake her. Mike was moving his tongue tentatively, licking long strokes up the underside of his shaft and flicking it quickly across the tip. 

“F-Fuck, Mike, have you done this before?” he asked as he swirled his tongue around in a way that made his head spin.

Mike shook his head, beginning to suck gently. He didn't know how he was so good at this, but Mike had always been good with his mouth. He looked down, watching Mike's lips slide down his cock and he couldn't believe he was really seeing this. His lips were a deep pink, his hair was ruffled from all of the kissing and Mike's eyes fluttered open, piercing blue and looking right at him. The eye contact, how Mike looked, the fucking feeling of him sucking his cock, it was too much.

“Mike – I'm gonna come,” he breathed, a warning, expecting him to pull away. Instead, Mike relaxed and pushed down further, swallowing Trevor's cock right down his throat. Too much. Much too much. Trevor gasped as he came hard, spurting into Mike's throat. Aside from moaning softly, Mike barely reacted, swallowing quickly before pulling off of him. A small smile, a quick lick of his lips and Mike was crawling back up his body to kiss him.

Trevor could taste himself on his tongue, feel his erection pressing hard against his leg as Mike rocked against him, not even trying to hide his attempts to gain friction. Trevor moved back towards the wall to give Mike room to lie flat on his back. He kicked off his jeans quickly whilst undoing Mike's. He pulled them off for him, leaving their legs bare, tangled together on the bed. He wished he could take his time to explore, but now wasn't the time for that. He brushed his fingers over Mike's cock quickly, watching his eyes close as he arched up into his touch. 

Trevor rolled onto his knees, moving between Mike's legs. He ran his hands down Mike's body, fingers catching on the fabric of his tshirt before he slipped them under the waistband of his underwear. Mike made one of the most perfect noises he'd ever heard as he mouthed around his cock, sucking and pressing his lips around it through the fabric. He could taste him and it was all he could do not to just pull his underwear down and start straight away. He was going to take this slowly, to make sure he remembered all of this in case they didn't do this again. He wanted to make sure it was good, to make sure that they would.

Mike's hips bucked as he nosed against him before pulling the fabric between them away, freeing his erection. Mike's breathing was already deeper, he was regulating it as if he was trying to control himself. Trevor didn't want that. He let one hand slide up under his shirt, fingers running across the soft skin of Mike's stomach as he licked a stripe along his cock. Mike swore softly under his breath, Trevor's name next on his lips. He gasped as Trevor sucked him into his mouth, running his tongue along the length of his shaft.

Trevor got caught up in tasting him, licking at the tip of his cock, sucking harder as Mike groaned. His fingers were running through his hair, twisting slightly. He was holding back but Trevor could tell he wanted to thrust into his mouth. He moved further down, relaxing when he felt his cock brush against the back of his throat. Mike sucked in a deep breath, hips twitching before his fingers tightened in his hair. He thrusted up once and Trevor almost choked.

“S-Sorry, fuck...” Mike breathed.

He sounded like he did when he was completely strung out. Trevor hummed a response, hoping to convey that he didn't mind. Mike groaned. Interesting. He hummed again, lower this time and he felt the vibrations run through his throat. They were no doubt the reason Mike was starting to thrust again, slowly, barely more than twitching his hips at first. Trevor sucked softly, flicking his tongue around the tip of Mike's cock, encouraging him. He wanted him to keep going, he wanted to feel him fuck his throat.

He glanced up, looking at Mike's face. His eyes were closed, his bottom lip drawn tightly between his teeth. A second later and Trevor was trying to breathe through his nose as Mike started to roll his hips rhythmically. Mike was pulling lightly at his hair, sending a shudder down his spine.

“Fuck... Trev --”

A pang of arousal spread through Trevor at the way his name sounded when Mike said it like that. He wished they could have had longer. Mike's knees drew up, giving himself more leverage to thrust with. He was breathing heavily now, tiny whimpers escaping him and Trevor braced himself.

“Can you... I'm close, okay?” Mike moaned and Trevor didn't know if he was going to be able to swallow but Mike had so he was going to damn well try. He squeezed Mike's hips gently, letting him know it was okay and flicked his tongue around in the way he really seemed to like. He did.

Mike pulled his head down suddenly and Trevor felt his cock twitch against the back of his throat before he started to come in bursts. Trevor focused on breathing, swallowing quickly before pulling away. He resisted the urge to press a kiss to Mike's leg before moving back up to lay down next to him. He suddenly felt a little unsure, maybe because Mike didn't have the best track record of sticking around after things like this. He couldn't exactly go anywhere this time, they were in his room, but Trevor didn't know what to expect. 

He'd never even had to feel awkward around Mike before, not until recently but he didn't want to ruin this. 

“That was... fuck... pretty amazing,” Mike breathed.

“Yeah, it was.”

“Thanks? I don't know what the usual post-blowjob protocol is...”

Trevor grinned. They were fine. Mike squeezed his hand quickly. There was no eye contact, but still... Trevor's heart did a tiny flip.

“Dude, I don't mean to kick you out or anything but-”

“I know, I know, it's late.”

Mike's grandmother didn't really liked Trevor coming over, especially not late at night. She wouldn't say anything about it but it was easier for everyone if she didn't catch him there. For once, it actually felt like he would be getting caught.

“Sorry man,” Mike said.

“It's cool, I'll see you soon, alright?”

What did he do? Did he kiss him? Were they still just friends... with benefits (Trevor flinched internally at the cliché) or did this change them? He sat up and grabbed his jeans, pulling them on with a grin. Did they really just do that? Mike stayed where he was, a matching smile on his face as Trevor walked over to the window.

“See you Monday, then?” he said.

“Yeah. See you Monday.”

 


	7. Clarification

 Mike awoke Sunday morning, still completely bowled over by what had happened. He should really thank Jenny. He wondered how much she knew. He thought Trevor must have told her something and he wondered what that meant. If he'd told her, he didn't feel ashamed but he'd been thinking about it enough to bring it up. It had been that thought that had given Mike the confidence to suggest oral sex, to squeeze Trevor's hand after. Before he had left, Mike had wanted to kiss him but he needed to check with Jenny first.

She wasn't on Skype so he sent her a text message asking if they could talk. Five minutes later, she logged on.

She told him what Trevor had told her, how she thought he felt about Mike.

 

*

 

Trevor sighed and put down his pen, flexing his fingers. He'd been working on his history paper for over an hour and he was bored. He didn't want to call Mike, he knew that he was working just as hard as he was (well, no, much harder), especially now that the were going out on Thursday.

Jenny had invited them out to see a movie. He didn't know what they'd be seeing but he liked spending time with the both of them. They ate lunch together most days now and it was kind of weird. If he was honest, Trevor didn't really know where he stood with either of them rght now but he'd decided not to dwell on it. He had to give Jenny credit; she was taking the fact that her boyfriend had pretty much dumped her for a guy very well. Exceptionally well, in fact.

 

*

 

Thursday rolled around quickly, their teachers all working them hard now that Christmas was over. Trevor wasn't too concerned, he always did well enough to pass and any time that he was struggling, Mike offered to help. It was in his interest too, in a way. He didn't want to go to college on his own. Trevor didn't really think much about college. All he knew was that he was going wherever Mike was. They'd decided years ago that they would go to college and get a place together and now Trevor couldn't imagine anything else happening. 

When the final bell rang, at last, Trevor gathered his things up and grabbed his bag. He dropped his paper off on the way to the door (it wasn't brilliant, he hadn't had Mike's help, but it would do) and walked out to the front of the school. Mike and Jenny were both waiting for him at the gate.

“Ready to go?” he asked and they both nodded.

The movie theatre wasn't far from school so they walked, avoiding patches of ice and discussing what they could see.

“I heard they're reshowing Jurassic Park,” Jenny said. “I don't think there's anything good out right now, so that's probably our best bet.”

Trevor agreed, he'd be happy to see that again, especially in the cinema. They arrived and were glad to get out of the cold. The line for the tickets wasn't too long and they only had 10 minutes to wait until it started. They went in anyway, hoping there would be some interesting trailers.

Jenny moved into the aisle first, letting Trevor sit between her and Mike. It was a little odd; the last time Trevor had been here, it had been just him and Jenny but she seemed fine with it. A few other people came in before the trailers ended but they sat far enough away that the three of them might as well have been the only people there. 

Jenny made a face a few times during the start of the film, raising her eyebrows like she was trying to indicate something. Trevor didn't know what she was trying to say and eventually, she gave up. Trevor wondered if he'd be able to get away with kissing Mike here. Not right then, not with Jenny next to him, but hypothetically. He really wanted to, especially when Mike turned to look at him and he realised that he'd been staring again.

He sat back and tried to focus on the film but then Mike and Jenny were sneaking glances at each other. Except, with someone sitting between them, it wasn't really sneaking. It felt a little like they were conspiring against him and then Mike's hand was on his on the armrest and he didn't care any more. He saw Jenny smile out of the corner of his eye and then he'd realised what she'd been trying to make him do.

If he'd known that Mike had wanted that, he would have done it as soon as they'd sat down. When he didn't react, however, Mike must have gotten the wrong idea. He started to withdraw his hand but Trevor caught it in time, squeezing his fingers lightly before letting their hands come to rest together in Mike's lap.

 

*

 

Mike stroked small circled onto Trevor's hand as they watched the film. He couldn't help noticing how natural this felt. When the film ended, Jenny spoke up first.

“You guys hungry, then?” she asked as the credits started to roll.

“Yeah, I am,” Trevor said. “Mikey?”

“Yeah... how about the arcade?” Mike suggested.

Trevor's hand hastily slipped out of his as he stood up. He was a little disappointed but it wasn't like he'd expected them to keep holding hands when they walked to the arcade. The wind was bitter so Mike was grateful that it was only around the corner.

“Hotdogs?” Trevor asked as they walked past the food court.

Mike fished some money out of his pocket and handed it to him but Jenny said something about him owing her from last time. Trevor stood in line whilst Mike walked over to the token machine with Jenny, changing up enough cash to last them a few hours.

“You two seem, uh, comfortable with each other again,” Jenny said after checking that Trevor was busy with the cashier.

“Yeah,” Mike replied, unable to keep the smile off of his face. “I don't really understand what we're doing but, um, yeah, it's good.”

“If you need to talk about it or anything, I'll listen, okay?”

Just then, Trevor carried a tray over to one of the tables so Mike just smiled and nodded at Jenny. It shouldn't have surprised Mike that Trevor knew how they liked their hotdogs – he must have come here with Jenny at some point because hers already had onions and mustard. 

Mike noticed that Trevor had his eye on the air hockey table. If he remembered correctly (which of course, he did), Trevor was beating him 3-2. He finished his hotdog quickly and got up to put a token in the table.

“What, you want to get beaten again?” Trevor asked as he strode over. 

He wasn't that bad but air hockey was one of those things that Trevor mysteriously excelled at. They played two games, bringing their total up to 4-3 (Mike had won the first game but he should have quit whilst he was ahead). 

Jenny seemed fine with watching, refusing Mike's attempts at including her. After one loss, though, he realised he should probably stop for the sake of his pride. When Trevor got pumped up, there was usually no stopping him.

“You want a game, Jen?” Trevor asked. 

She shrugged and walked over. Mike hoped she was good, there was nothing fun about watching someone get completely smashed. 

It turned out that Jenny could really hold her own. Mike made a mental note not to play her in front of Trevor, he didn't want to risk losing to both of them, they wouldn't let him live it down. He watched their game, looking at the way Trevor leaned over the table, the way his shirt clung to him as he stretched out to make a particularly hard strike.

 

*

 

The evening had been surpringly perfect. Not that she'd expected anything to go wrong but Jenny wasn't used to hanging around with guys like this. She'd only really been to the arcade on dates and even then it was an obvious attempt to fill time before they'd moved on to sneaking into each other's bedrooms.

A few of her friends had been bugging her to hang out tomorrow night but suddenly a night of talking about shoes seemed even more boring than usual. She loved her friends, she really did, but she'd always been a little jealous of her older brothers and their friends. This was just more like her idea of fun.

She'd sort of expected it to be awkward. Not because of her background with Trevor, but because this was sort of a date for them. If she hadn't known something was going on between them, though, she didn't think she would have picked up on anything. They were the same as ever, sharing eye rolls over inside jokes, high fiving and practically finishing each other's sentences. There was something else there, too, small glances when the other wasn't looking, tiny smiles that spoke of more than friendship, but, ultimately, their relationship seemed unchanged. It made sense, really. If they'd both fallen for each other whilst they were best friends, why would they ever want that to change?

By the time they had to leave, both of the guys were insisting that she let them walk her home. Jenny was convinced this was one of the best nights out she had ever had.

 

*

 

Okay, so this was definitely weird. They were standing on the corner of Jenny's road, saying goodbye to her like he used to. 

“What are you doing tomorrow?” Trevor asked.

He just really wanted to do something like this again. He didn't know why. He just really felt like the three of them should do more like this together.

“Don't you work Fridays?” Mike asked quickly.

“Actually, I have it off. Tina is having a party and I pretty much have to go. I don't want to.”

Tina was Jenny's best friend. Trevor had never really spoken to her but he knew who she was. He'd heard about the party, it was supposed to be really big.

“Hey, how about you guys come with me?” she asked.

“Sure, okay,” Mike replied.

There was something in his voice that worried Trevor. He sounded kind of annoyed but he couldn't think of any reason for him to be. They'd had a good night, hadn't they? Jenny thanked them and said goodbye before running back to her house to get out of the cold.

“Are you okay, man?” Trevor asked as they started to walk.

“M'fine.”

It was a lie. Mike was never good at lying. 

“Mikey, look at me,” Trevor said, placing his hand on his arm. “What's wrong? Didn't you have fun tonight?”

“Yeah... just... why did you ask Jenny what she was doing tomorrow?”

“What do you mean? I enjoyed hanging out with you both and I wanted to do it again. I assumed you would, too.”

“I did. But... Trevor, what is happening with us right now?”

“What do you mean?”

“I don't know. You held my hand earlier and we had a good time but, like, are we anything? Are you still interested in Jenny? I don't know what's going on.”

Fuck. They hadn't spoken about it but Trevor had assumed they didn't need to. 

“I don't know what to call this, what we are, but no, I'm not interested in Jenny. Or any girl. Or anyone. I thought you would have realised that I'd broken up with her for you.”

“I sort of thought maybe you might have but I didn't know what to think,” Mike said. “So are you saying we're exclusive?”

They'd made it back to Mike's. They walked over to the tree outside his window like they always did when they got back late. Mike didn't like to use the front door when his Grammy might be asleep.

“I... if you want to be?” Trevor half asked. 

He didn't really think he could tell Mike what to do. He wasn't ready to talk about this but it didn't look like he had a choice.

“I wont be with anyone else, okay? I don't know when this happened but since I realised I was attracted to you, nobody else measures up,” he said.

It was dark, but he thought he could see Mike blushing.

“I don't want to be with anyone else, either,” Mike said quietly.

He looked around quickly to check that the street was clear before moving forwards and kissing Trevor. It was over in a second but it felt like a punch to the gut. Trevor wanted to kiss him again but now wasn't the time or place.

“You want to come up?” Mike asked.

“I shouldn't. I'm probably late already,” Trevor said. “I got you in air hockey, though, don't forget.”

“Like I could,” Mike replied, grinning. “I'll get you next time, though.”

“No way, man. I'll always be the king of air hockey and you know it.”

Mike rolled his eyes when they got competitive. The first punch came in, barely grazing Trevor's ribs and he reciprocated with a phantom punch to the jaw. Four fake swipes and it was over, a secret handshake of sorts and then Trevor watched him climb the tree and slip into his room before he walked back to his own house.

 

*

 

Friday evening and Trevor was back at Mike's, leaning against the tree, waiting for him to get ready.They'd agreed to meet Jenny at the party and Mike had wanted to run back to his for a shower. When Mike came out to meet him, Trevor recognised the shirt he was wearing as his own. He'd leant it to him to go home in a while ago. It looked good on him.

They walked fast. The party wasn't too far from Mike's but it was still really cold.

“Can I stay at yours tonight?” Mike asked. “I mean, it would really help. I don't want to risk going back drunk.”

“Of course, man. I told my parents you'd be coming back anyway.”

“Thanks,” Mike said.

The door was open when they got there. Trevor recognised a few of the girls as friends of Jenny's and he looked around for her. She said she was going to get there early. Mike was looking around slightly nervoursly. Trevor knew that he found social situations awkward if he didn't know anybody. He was getting better with it, though. 

They spotted Jenny in the kitchen and she looked relieved to see them. There were two girls standing with her, one already a little drunk. She looked a little confused for a second.

“Didn't you two break up?” she blurted out.

“Er, yeah, we're still friends, though,” Trevor said.

Jenny ushered them out of the kitchen and sighed.

“I thought you'd never get here. They're just being so boring.”

 

*

 

Mike was enjoying himself more than he usually did at house parties. The three of them had just found a corner to sit in with some snacks and drinks and Trevor's fingers had slowly slipped inbetween his own. Jenny's friends came over but they only stayed a little while before walking away again.

“Why did you come if you don't want to see them?” Mike asked.

“They're still my friends... I just have more fun with you guys.”

Mike had to work hard not to lean into Trevor in front of everyone. He didn't know where they stood on that yet. 

They left the party relatively early, but it was still around eleven. Jenny was supposed to be sleeping there but she'd decided against it.

“How did you get here?” Mike asked.

The house was pretty far from Jenny's and it was cold and icy.

“My dad drove me over earlier,” she said.

“Do you want to stay at mine?” Trevor asked.

He looked at Mike quickly as if he'd remembered how he'd worried the night before. Mike just smiled. He didn't want the night to be over yet and he really didn't want to have to walk all the way to Jenny's in the cold.

“Are you sure? Wouldn't your parents mind?” she asked.

“Nope, you can crash in my room and we can take the guest room,” Trevor said, grinning at Mike a little. It was amusing that his parents wouldn't mind them sleeping together.

“Yeah, that would be brilliant,” she said.

They walked back quickly, voices hushed as they walked through Trevor's front door and up the stairs. They shut the door of the guest bedroom behind them and piled onto the bed. They might as well have been back at the party; they spent a while just talking, laughing as quietly as possible. When Trevor's arm slipped around his shoulder, Mike almost jumped. He couldn't help but find it surreal, the way that they could do this, that Jenny didn't mind. Mike leaned into his touch, smiling a little.

“It's late,” Jenny said suddenly, even though she didn't look tired. “I'll see you in the morning, okay?”

*

 

“Tonight was fun,” Mike said. He kicked his shoes off and pulled off his jeans before getting back on the bed whilst Trevor followed suit. 

“Yeah, it was.”

He slipped his arm back around him again as he climbed into bed with him.

“So, um, I guess we're sleeping together for the first time...” Mike said.

“We always sleep together, man.”

“You know what I mean.”

They snuggled down and Trevor couldn't help rolling his eyes.

“Yeah, I know what you mean.”

“We need to turn the light off.”

“It cold,” Trevor groaned.

“I know. You're warm.”

“I'll do it. On five... fuck, it's going to be cold...”

Trevor counted down from five, bracing himself for the cold but when he got to two, Mike jumped over him and ran to switch off the light. He was cold when he jumped back into bed, cold enough to make Trevor shiver but he let him snuggle up to him anyway.

“You didn't need to do that.”

“Did I earn myself a kiss?” Mike asked.

Trevor smiled, even though Mike couldn't see it and then he found his lips in the dark.

 


	8. Birthday Sex

 

Mike woke up wrapped in Trevor's arms and for a second, he panicked but then he remembered that this was them now. Then he realised that his hand was resting on Trevor's cock and Jenny was in the doorway, smirking slightly.

“Morning,” she said.

“Er, morning,” he replied, moving his hand and pulling the sheets up the cover them both a little more.

“I've got to go home, it's around noon,” she said. “Say goodbye to Trevor for me. His parents know you're here and everything.”

“Were they alright with you staying?” Mike asked.

“Yeah, I told them I stayed in his room and you two were in here. Thank him for letting me stay.” Jenny said. “Hey, uh... are you two together now, then?” 

“I... We're something.”

Jenny just looked thoughtful for a second before smiling and saying goodbye. Mike moved a little closer to Trevor, moving his arm a little to give himself space to crawl into. Trevor twitched as he started to wake up. He smiled at Mike sleepily, his eyes narrowed as he stretched.

“Morning.”

“Afternoon, apparently,” Mike replied. “Jenny just left. She told me to thank you for letting her stay.”

“It's that late? Fuck.”

“Yeah. She, uh, asked me something.”

“Oh?”

“Well, like, if we were together now. I know we're sort of... I told her I wasn't sure.”

Mike knew that they were exclusive, that they weren't going to see anyone else but he couldn't help wanting to hear it again.

“Oh.”

“I mean, it doesn't matter, we don't have to put any names on it or anything.” Mike said quickly.

“Hey, I thought we'd discussed this,” Trevor said.

“I know just... does this make you my boyfriend?”

Trevor laughed softly.

“No, man. We're best friends, that's way better than boyfriends.”

“Yeah but we... do other things now.”

“Well, some best friends have sex, I guess,” Trevor said, grinning.

“Except we never... not yet...” Mike mumbled.

“Do you want to?” Trevor asked. “I mean, not now just... some time?”

“Yeah.”

“Me too.”

 

*

 

It had been a perfect weekend, one spent in bed and in front of the tv, taking advantage of the fact that Trevor's parents assumed they were straight (they both knew that he wouldn't have been allowed to have a girl sleep in the same bed as him). Now, though, they were back at school, in the cold light of day, where they had to keep their hands to themselves.

Trevor sat in Biology, resisting the urge to turn around to look at Mike. He'd promised him he'd try harder. His grades had never been that good in Biology and they'd been slipping lately. It was hard... every time he heard Mike's voice, he just wanted to spin around.

 

*

 

Mike spent most of Biology talking to Jenny, mainly about Trevor. He asked her if she thought things would change between them now. Jenny said that she didn't think so, not if he didn't want it to.

He'd given up taking notes by now, he really didn't need them. If his teacher said anything, well, he could just prove that he could recite every word of the text book.

At lunch, the three of them sat together, like they usually did. They all looked up in surprise when Nicole approached Mike.

“Uh, can I talk to you for a second?” she asked.

“Sure,” Mike replied, motioning to the empty seat opposite him. “Sit down.”

“Oh, um, okay...”

He felt like an ass. He knew that she'd meant alone but he really didn't want to go with her.

“What is it?” he asked.

Trevor and Jenny were both staring at their food, purposely not at her, but it didn't help much.

“I was wondering if you wanted to go out again... finally?” she asked.

“Uh, I can't.”

“I didn't even say when,” she said.

“No, I mean... I'm seeing someone else,” Mike replied.

“Oh, really? I hadn't heard.”

“Well, she goes to a different school.”

Nicole didn't say anything, she just looked at him, obviously not believing him.

“Yeah, she goes to my cousin's. He met her over Christmas break, at mine,” Jenny said quickly.

“I thought you said you weren't going to have any free time at Christmas,” Nicole said.

“Yeah, well I got a little bit of time, sorry,” Mike said, looking back down at his food.

He didn't want to be mean, he just didn't know how else he could get her to go away. She looked a little upset, but she left without saying another word.

“Fuck, I wish I hadn't had to lie,” Mike said.

Trevor looked at him, his eyes wide, panic written across his face.

“You're not going to tell everyone, are you?”

“What, are you ashamed of me?” Mike asked.

It was a joke, but Trevor didn't laugh. He just shook his head.

“No man, I just don't want people to know.”

“Why not?”

“I just don't see why they need to know, Mike.” Trevor said quietly. “People will make judgements that we don't need.”

Mike looked at Jenny and she just shrugged. He really wished that they could be open about this. He remembered when Trevor and Jenny were together. They always held hands and kissed in public and Mike just wished that it didn't need to be any different for them.

“Okay, I guess,” Mike said.

“What are you doing for you birthday?” Jenny asked, an obvious bid to change the subject.

It was just over a week away, the following Tuesday, but he hadn't really thought about it.

“I don't know. Maybe we could do something the Sunday before?” he suggested. “I don't want to make a big deal out of it.”

“Okay, how abou you come to mine? We could put a movie on, make some popcorn, just hang out?” Jenny asked.

“Sure, sounds good.”

 

*

 

That was how Mike ended up walking to Jenny's house with Trevor on Sunday.

“So, are you doing anything on Tueday? Like with your Gram or anything?” Trevor asked.

“She'll probably cook, she usually does.”

“Ah. Do you think I could come over after? So we could have some time together, just the two of us?”

“Yeah, I think that could work.”

It turned out Jenny had a bit of a home cinema. Well, she had a projector connected to a laptop and surround sound. She'd made two different types of popcorn: toffee and bacon. 

“Happy early Birthday!” she said and hugged him when they arrived.

He told her not to bother with a present and she'd agreed, eventually, although she'd taken some convincing. They spent a while watching movies before Jenny brought out some tacos. Nobody else was home so, after a while, Trevor slipped one leg behind Mike and pulled him back so that he was sitting against his chest.

 

*

 

Jenny wished he could have done more for Mike's birthday but he seemed happy. She'd thought that it would have been better to invite them both to hers because Mike seemed to be having a problem with keeping their relationship a secret. She knew that being out in public wouldn't help. She couldn't help but smile when she looked at them sitting together like that.

 

*

 

Tuesday morning was warmer than it had been in a long time. Mike woke up to a birthday text from Trevor and a bacon sandwich from his Grandmother. Trevor was waiting for him downstairs.

“Happy Birthday, man!”

“What are you doing here?” 

“Oh, fair maiden, I thought I'd escort you to school on such a special day.”

Mike laughed at his strange attempt at a bow. They walked to school together, splitting off to go to their separate classes. When they walked home later, Mike told Trevor that he expected to be done with dinner by 7, so he should come around at 8.

When he got in, Grammy was cooking. It smelled wonderful and he knew exactly what it was. It was the same thing she'd cooked every year since he could remember: spaghetti and meatballs with pecan pie for dessert. There was no present because they'd both agreed that his birthday was so close to Christmas that there was never anything he wanted. Instead, every year, his Grammy put some money away for college. That was fine with Mike; just having dinner with her was good enough for him. She was the only family he had and he would always appreciate that.

After dinner, he insisted on doing the dishes before jumping in the shower so that he could be ready for Trevor.

 

*

 

Trevor knocked on Mike's door. His Grandmother answered and they were polite to each other but he ran up the stairs as quickly as he could. He avoided spending too much time in her company. Even though she tried to hide it, it was no secret that she didn't approve of him.

“Hey man, Happy Birthday,” he said, as he walked into Mike's bedroom. He thrust a box at him awkwardly.

“What? No, we agreed no presents,” Mike said.

“Shut up, take it.”

Trevor watched Mike shake the box curiously. He was nervous but he hoped that, at worst, Mike would just laugh it off if he didn't like it. Mike opened the box and looked inside. He looked surprised for a second but then he started grinning.

“Just what I always wanted,” he said.

“Uh, it was just a thought...” Trevor said as Mike pulled out the bottle of lubricant. “We don't have to do anything if you don't want to, it's just-”

“Man, it's cool. I told you, I want this.”

Trevor sighed in relief, he didn't want to rush Mike into anything, especially not on his birthday. The two of them moved over to Mike's bed, sitting down and falling back together. Mike moved against Trevor, resting his head on his shoulder. They kissed, slowly at first, enjoying being alone for once. Trevor ran his fingers through Mike's hair, letting his other hand slip down, locking into Mike's. 

The bed creaked a little as Trevor shifted forwards to stop himself from falling off the edge. Mike's arm wrapped around him, pulling him closer. He felt Mike's fingers slide under the hem of his tshirt, he shuddered as he felt him press up against him.

“Uh, how are we going to do this” Mike asked.

“What do you mean?”

“Well... who's going to be doing what?”

They hadn't discussed it. Trevor had barely even thought about it. He'd imagined fucking Mike but he hadn't really thought about whether or not Mike would want it that way. He wanted to more with him but he didn't know if he was ready for this if Mike didn't want to bottom.

“Uh...” he said, not quite knowing what to say.

“Don't worry, I'm not going to expect you to let me fuck you,” Mike said with a grin. “I'm assuming you've never done anything like that.”

“You have?” Trevor asked.

Mike nodded, rolling his eyes.

“It's not as bad as you're imagining. I'll show you some time.”

There was that spark in his eyes, the one that reminded Trevor that Mike wasn't as innocent as everyone always thought he was.

He kissed him as Mike rolled onto his back, pulling Trevor on top of him. Trevor placed his hands either side of Mike's shoulders, holding himself above him, feeling his thighs pressing into his hips. Mike's hands ran down his back and pulled at the hem of his shirt. He straightened up, sitting back on his heels to pull his shirt off, smiling at the way Mike's eyes ran over him.

“Come on, yours too,” he said.

Mike moved, awkwardly pulling off his tshirt and Trevor fell back down onto him, kissing as much newly revealed skin as he could. Mike squirmed, moaning softly when he let his tongue slip through his lips, teasing at his collarbone. He moved down further, letting his lips brush over one of Mike's nipples. He stayed where he was, repeating his actions when he felt Mike's hips twitch and buck up against him. His hands were on his back, reaching down as far as he could. When Trevor moved back up to kiss him again, moving one hand to brush a thumb against his chest, Mike's fingers started to work at his jeans. He pushed them down and then moved to his own. There was a scrambling to get their jeans and underwear off. Before long, they were both naked and it was a little surreal.

They weren't high. They weren't even in the basement.

Trevor groaned when he felt Mike run a hand down his stomach before he squeezed his cock. He watched in awe as Mike reached for the lubricant and squeezed some out onto his palm. He reached down to stroke Trevor's cock, hand sliding over it with ease and he couldn't help thrusting forwards.

“Fuck, Mikey,” he breathed, kissing him quickly.

After a moment, Mike stopped.

“Hey, sit up a a second,” Mike said.

Trevor moved back and watched as Mike squeezed more lube out. He bit his lip as Mike reached down to open himself up and press his fingers into himself slowly. Mike moaned softly as he circled his fingers around his entrance. Trevor watched his breach himself, reaching down to slowly stroke Mike's cock as he did so. He'd obviously done this before. It didn't take long for Mike to stop, to pull him down again.

“Okay, I'm ready,” he said quietly.

Trevor kissed him, lining himself up.

“Are you sure?”

“Come on, just fuck me.”

Mike slid his hands down to hold himself open. Trevor gasped at the warmth as his cock made contact with Mike's ass. He pushed forwards slowly, very slowly, meeting resistance, trying to make sure he didn't go too fast. He watched Mike's face, looking for any signs of discomfort. When he saw Mike bite his lip, he slowed right down as he dug his fingers into his hip.

“Why are you stopping?” he asked.

“I... am I hurting you?”

“No. It's... I need to adjust but fuck, please don't stop there.”

Trevor kept going, gasping at the tightness as he slipped further into him. When he could go no further, he waited, letting Mike relax around him.

“I'm okay, you know, you can keep going,” Mike whispered and Trevor started to move again.He pulled out slowly before thrusting in again. Mike's hands pulled at his hips slightly, urging him forwards.

 

*

 

Mike breathed in deeply, enjoying the feeling of Trevor sliding into him. He'd been nervous, worried he wouldn't be able to take it but he'd been experimenting for a while now, trying to prepare himself since Trevor had mentioned sex. It hadn't been bad at all and now that he was used to the feeling, Mike was trying not to push back to meet Trevor's thrusts. He wanted this to last.

Trevor's tongue snaked out across his lower lip as he pushed into Mike a little harder, a shuddering breath the only noise he made. Mike pulled him closer, kissing him softly before slipping his tongue into his mouth. Their kisses became more urgent, Mike encouraging Trevor to thrust harder with a bite to his lip and insistent fingers pressing into his hips.

“C'mon,” he breathed, shuddering when he felt Trevor's cock slide against his prostate. He could feel his heart hammering in his chest, he was sure Trevor must have been able to feel it too. He groaned as he felt him thrust harder and let his fingers lace into his hair. He slipped his other hand down to his side, feeling his muscles move with each thrust. Trevor's hand brushed across Mike's stomach, moving lower, closing around his cock.

 

*

 

Trevor squeezed Mike's cock as he continued to slide into him. When he pushed deeper, he felt it twitch in his hand, heard Mike's breath hitch. He slowed down a little, changing to slow, deep strokes. Mike moaned beneath him, tensing a little around him. He resisted the urge to go faster, alternating between shallow and deep thrusts.

“Fuck, oh my god, Trevor, I can't... oh fuck,” Mike breathed, hips pushing back, forcing him deeper. Trevor gripped Mike's hips tightly, pulling him onto him, thrusting deep every time. Mike's face flushed red and he whimpered slightly as Trevor thrust hard into him, stroking his cock as it twitched and Mike came over his stomach. Trevor couldn't hold in a groan as he felt Mike's orgasm rock through him. He thrust into him quickly, the tightness pulling him over the edge. He pulled out slowly, collapsing beside Mike on the bed.

“Oh fuck, that was amazing,” Mike said quickly. “I mean, I hope it was for you too-”

“Calm down, dude. Yeah, it was.”

That was all they said before they just lay there together, definitely not cuddling. They stayed like that for ages, maybe an hour, before Mike's Grandmother knocked on the door.

“Trevor? Are you going to be sleeping over? Do you need a sleeping bag?”

“Uh, no, thanks but I'm just leaving,” he replied.

They listened to her walk away and Mike raised his eyebrows.

“You could stay, you know, if you want to,” he said.

“I do, but we have school and I should really get back.”

They both got dressed and Trevor couldn't help watching, getting his last glimpse of Mike's bare skin for a while. 

“Uh, I'll see you?”

He really didn't know what he was supposed to do or say.

“Yeah...”

Mike was right there in front of him, his lips still a little red from their kisses, his hair all sticking up. Fuck it. Trevor kissed him. It was different from before; there was no desperation to this kiss, no promises of awkward fumbling or more, no alterior motive. Mike's lips slipped over his, holding them there. No tongue, it didn't need it. This kiss wasn't sexual, it just spoke of the tenderness that was left after everything else had been done.

“Bye Mikey,” he said.

“Bye Trev,” Mike replied.

Maybe he'd say what he really meant, what he hoped Mike had meant, some other time.

 

 


	9. Gay Batmen

 “So, what? You love him?” Jenny asked.

“Yeah... I think so.” Trevor replied.

“Well, he's your best friend, so you should love him.”

“No, I mean, that's different. Before he was my best friend that I was just really attracted to but now... I think I really love him.”

“How is that any different?” 

“I don't know.” 

“Hey guys,” Mike said as he ran up to the front gate. “Sorry I'm late, guidance councellor wanted to see me.”

“What about?” Jenny asked.

“Er, she was trying to convince me to take some advanced classes. You know, like career advice or something.”

“Are you going to?”

“I don't know, maybe. I was thinking of taking Law.”

“What, you want to be a lawyer all of a sudden?” Trevor asked.

“Well it'd be interesting at least.”

Mike didn't want to tell them that he'd been interested in Law for a long time. Sure, he was clever, sort of, but a lawyer? Him? He wasn't really that capable. The councellor hadn't laughed, though. He'd mentioned it with a shrug when she'd asked if there was any specific careers he'd be interested in.

“Isn't it a bit late to start a course?” Jenny asked.

“Well, she said I should think about it in advance for next year,” Mike said. “But I might be able to put work in to catch up and start this year if I wanted.”

“Are you going to try? Don't you worry too much about work already?”

“I don't see why I can't. I read a lot already, if I just switch to law books, I could catch up in no time and then maybe I could take it in college or something.”

Trevor didn't say anything more about it so Mike dropped the subject. They walked Jenny home whilst she complained about her friends.

“Why don't you want to go?” Trevor asked.

“I don't know, I never know what to say to them lately.”

“Where are you going?” Mike asked.

“That new restaurant in town, the italian one.”

“Well give us a call in case you need rescuing,” Trevor said. “Mikey, you wanna come over to mine in case she needs us?”

“Guys, I think I'll be okay,” Jenny said before hugging them both and turning to walk into her house.

“Can I still come over?” Mike asked.

“Of course, she might need us.”

“You make us sound like super heroes or something,” Mike replied.

“We are, we can go to the rescue of socially awkward people everywhere.”

“Oh man, I could do with having someone to do that for me,” Mike said.

“You do, what do you think I am?” Trevor asked.

Mike laughed. It was true, though. He remembered the first time he'd met Trevor, the day he'd stopped Jason from stealing his lunch money.

“If you could have any super power, what would it be?” Mike asked.

“Time or mind control,” Trevor answered, without even giving it a second's thought.

“Really? Why?”

“Easiest way to get money,” he said. “I mean, with money, you can do anything, right?”

“I guess.”

“What about you then?” Trevor asked after a few moments of silence.

“Flight.”

“Really?”

“Yeah, that would be so cool.”

They got back to Trevor's before they knew it and went straight down to the basement, flopping down onto the beanbag immediately. Mike smiled when Trevor slipped his arm around him. He looked up and kissed him, short and tender. He knew that something had changed, their relationship had shifted again. He wasn't kissing him because it was going to lead to anything, he wasn't trying to move onto or anything or fulfill some strange urge, he just wanted to feel his lips on his own. He just wanted him to know how he felt. Their dynamic had changed. He liked it.

Mike let his head fall down onto Trevor's shoulder and he laced his fingers into his. His heart beat a little faster, they weren't looking at each other, they hadn't discussed it. It was a little exciting, in a way, to be this casual about it.

They flicked through the television channels as Mike listened to Trevor's heart beating. He let his fingers drum out the rhythm of it on Trevor's knee.

“What are you doing?” Trevor asked.

“Tapping out your heart beat.”

“Oh my god,” Trevor laughed. “You're such a girl.”

“Am not.”

Trevor squeezed his hand gently. They stayed together for a while and Mike jumped when his phone buzzed in his pocket. It was Jenny:

_Hey were you kidding about saving me? We're in arcade. Bored. Plz rescue me x_

“Jenny is at the arcade and needs rescuing, you wanna go?” Mike asked.

Trevor shrugged.

“I guess we can't say no after offering.”

Mike sent back a quick reply:

_We'll be with you soon, hang in there_

They got up and walked to the arcade, ready to come to Jenny's aide. They got there within ten minutes and walked in, looking around for her. They spotted her in the corner, watching some of her friends play on one of the dancing games.

“Trevor? Mike? What are you guys doing here?” she asked.

“Oh, we were just in the area, wanted to get out of the cold,” Mike lied.

Jenny mouthed a thank you with her back to her friends.

“Do you want to join us, then?” she asked. “We were just about to get something to eat.”

“Oh, sure, why not?” Trevor asked.

Jenny's friends didn't look too happy. Mike wondered if Trevor had done something to piss them off at some point. They were probably the people that had to pick up the pieces when the two of them had broken up.

They ate whilst Jenny tried to get all of them to talk. It didn't go too well but at least she looked happier now. Her friends both got up to go to the bathroom. Mike didn't really understand why they were going together or why they looked so angry when Jenny wouldn't go with them.

“Oh my god, thank you so much for saving me,” Jenny said as soon as they were out of earshot.

“Your friends don't seem too happy about it,” Mike said.

“Harpies. They're not human,” Trevor said under his breath.

“Be nice.”

“Seriously, though, I was so bored. How can I pay you back for swooping in?” Jenny asked.

“Swooping? We're not actually superheroes,” Trevor said.

“You are. You're like Batman or something.”

“Well then, which one of us is-”

“Mike, trust me, you don't want her to answer that,” Trevor said with a grin.

“Hey, you're both Batman. Batmen. Gay Batmen. Uh-”

Jenny froze, looking like she'd said the worst thing in the world. Mike looked at Trevor, wondering if he was going to freak out.

“Oh come on, Batman is totally gay. You don't have to specify,” Trevor said.

Jenny looked relieved, but still a little on edge.

“I though... well...”

“It's cool, we're being a bit gay, right?” Trevor asked and Mike just nodded. “Just try not to let it slip in front of anyone else, not yet.”

“Yeah, fuck, sorry.”

“It's cool, I just don't think I am gay, not really...uh...” Trevor said, his face changing quickly to the nonchalant expression he hid behind when he'd said something a little too serious. “I mean, it's not really anyone's business.”

“Yeah, I'm sorry, I shouldn't have said anything.”

Jenny's friends finally returned after what Mike realised was a long time. What had they been doing?

“We're going to head off,” one of them said. “You coming Jen?”

“Er, no, I'm going to stay here for a bit,” she replied.

“Oh. Fine.”

It was frosty. Mike looked at Jenny as her friends walked away, expecting her to look worried. She just started laughing softly, though. That way that only Jenny could, laughing at how ridiculous her friends were being without sounding mean, laughing like she could light up the whole world with her smile.

“I don't think they like me very much right now.”

“You don't seem very worried.”

“I'm not, not really. I mean, they're nice and everything but I don't really have fun with them any more. And, fuck, everything has to be such drama. They were probably bitching about me in the bathroom.”

“Is that what they were doing in there?” Trevor asked.

“I guess. They've been yelling at me all night because I've been hanging out with you lately.”

“Why?”

“They think I'm thinking I'm going to get back together with you.”

“Oh,” Trevor said. “No need to say it like it would be the worst thing in the world.”

“You know they never liked you.”

Mike wondered what it was Trevor had done to upset Jenny's friends. He wondered if he'd even done one thing in particular or if it had been him in general. Mike understood that he could be hard to handle. Even he found it difficult sometimes, but he was lucky. He saw the side of him that nobody else did. He thought maybe Jenny might have seen glimpses, which would explain why she still had so much time for him, after everything. He looked at the two of them for a second, surrounded by the flashing lights of the arcade. He couldn't imagine wanting or needing anything else.

 

*

 

At school, the next day, Jenny's friends were purposely avoiding her but she didn't seem to mind. Mike asked her if she was okay when he noticed the look one of them was giving her but she just did a very good impression of Trevor and shrugged. Just then, a woman Mike recognised from the admin office walked in.

“Mike Ross?” she asked the class.

Mike looked at her and raised his hand a little.

“Yes?” he asked.

“Can we have a word? Outside?”

Mike stood up, worry flooding through him.

“Bring your stuff.”

What had happened? Wait, no, the guidance counselor had said she'd want to speak to him again. She'd called him out of class last time, it was probably just that, it was fine. Apparently, though, Trevor's brain didn't work in the same way as his.

“Where are you taking him?” he asked, a little too aggressively.

“Sorry, I can't discuss that.”

“Why not? We have a right to know.”

“Trevor, calm down,” Mike said quickly. “It's probably just the guidance counselor again.”

But it wasn't, the woman's face told him that. She was trying not to give anything away, but there was a sadness in her eyes, pity. Trevor looked at him, worried. He looked like he was about to stand up but Mike shook his head and followed the woman out into the hall, fear setting in.

“What's happened?” he asked as soon as the door shut behind them.

“It's your grandmother, she's in hospital – she's fine, don't panic.”

“What?! Is she okay?”

“They didn't tell me much, they said she had a fall but she's in a stable condition.”

“What does that even mean?”

“I'm not a doctor, I can't tell you. We've arranged a car for you.”

 

*

 

Mike sat down, listening to the bleeping machines, not really hearing the words that the doctor was saying. Stable but critical. Medically induced coma. Brain swelling. Expect a full recovery. Anyone we can call?

“Mike?” the doctor asked. “Are you listening?”

“Uh, yeah, sorry...”

“Is there anyone we can call?”

“No. She's all... all I have.”

She looked so small. His Grammy was the strongest person he'd ever known. When his parents had died, she'd been too old to raise him but she'd done it anyway. She was always there for him. Always. He'd told her to stop doing everything, that he could handle the housework. At least she'd been wearing the alarm. She'd taken a lot of convincing, she didn't like to admit she needed help.

He must have sat there for an hour before one of the nurses came in.

“Are you sure there's nobody we can call? No other family?”

“I don't have any,” he said.

“Nobody?”

“I have friends, but that's all. Maybe you could call them?”

He knew it wasn't protocol. Visiting hours weren't until later, so it was close family only right now.

“I don't think I have to,” she said. “There are two people waiting for you in the waiting room.”

“Trevor? Jenny?” he asked.

“I don't know, a blonde girl and a tall guy that looks really worried? I can't let them in, I'm afraid. Maybe you should let them take you home.”

“I can't leave her.”

“You can't do anything for her here. We'll call you if anything changes.”

Mike didn't want to go but he knew that the nurse was right. He knew what his Grammy would say when she woke up if he hadn't taken care of himself. He left grudgingly and walked out into the waiting room. Jenny had her arm around Trevor and, yeah, he looked worried.

“Mike!” Jenny exclaimed when she looked up and saw him.

“Are you okay?” Trevor asked, rushing over to him.

Mike shrugged. He didn't know what to say. The doctors had told him that they expected a full recovery and that he had nothing to worry about but she was in a coma, how could he not worry? He looked up at the clock, it was only a half hour since school finished.

“How long have you been here?” he asked them.

“I only just got here,” Jenny said.

“I've been here since you got here,” Trevor said. “Give or take ten minutes.”

“What? Really?” Mike asked. “How'd you get out of school?”

“I walked. What were they gonna do?”

“You didn't have to do that...”

“You needed someone here with you,” Trevor said. “I mean, they wouldn't let me in, but I thought I'd wait for you.”

Mike hugged him, just for a second. He didn't want to have to speak. He hoped Trevor knew how much it meant to him, even if he had done something stupid.

“I phoned my mom, she says you can stay with us until your Grammy is ready to come home.”

Mike nodded. He felt numb, but Trevor's hand was on his shoulder, steering him gently towards the door. Jenny slipped her hand into his as they walked outside. It was an odd gesture, probably something that would have been awkward at any other time, with any other people, but it made him feel better. He wasn't alone. He had the two of them.

Jenny hailed a cab and they piled in, taking it back to Trevor's. Mike was in the middle and he was grateful that neither of them were trying to make him speak about anything. Jenny gave him a big hug when they got out (after paying for the cab, Mike would have to try to pay her back soon) and gave him a sympathetic smile.

“I'm going to walk back to mine, okay? Call me if you need me, or anything at all.”

“Do you want us to walk you back?” Mike asked.

“No, god no, don't be silly,” she said. “Trevor, you make sure he gets some rest, okay?”

Trevor nodded. They went inside and Trevor ushered him upstairs, before his parents noticed that they were back. Mike was glad, he didn't want to have to answer any questions right now.

They went into the spare room, took off their shoes and crawled into the bed. Mike moved closer to him as Trevor slipped an arm around his shoulders.

“It's going to be okay, you know,” he whispered.

Mike shook his head. He wasn't usually a pessimist but it was hard to look on the bright side in a situation like this. It wasn't going to be okay. How could it be?

“They kept asking if I had other family that they could call. She's all I have, I can't lose her.”

“You wont, she'll be fine,” Trevor said. “She'll be fine, Mikey. And you have me, okay? You'll always have me.”

Trevor held him as he tried not to cry.

 


	10. Room mates

 The next morning, Mike awoke to a glass of orange juice and a note on the bedside table.

_Hey man, mom wouldn't let me stay home with you. Bacon in fridge, I'll be coming straight home if you need to go to the hospital. Don't go on your own, please – T_

Mike didn't want to wait, he didn't want to just wait around and do nothing. He looked for his phone so he could text Trevor, to tell him not to bother rushing home. He was going to go to the hospital and he could just meet him there. He looked everywhere he could think of. He was always misplacing his phone but he knew that it had to be in this room, he'd had it the night before. When he couldn't find it, he knew what had happened. Trevor knew that he wouldn't go if he couldn't tell him about the change of plan. He'd hidden his phone, the bastard.

Mike went into the bathroom and looked in the mirror. His eyes were puffy and red and he realised that he couldn't remember falling asleep. They pillow next to his had been dented when he'd woken up; Trevor had let him fall asleep with him.

He showered quickly, walking into Trevor's bedroom to find something to wear. He ended up pulling on one of his oversized sweatshirts and some underwear. The sweatshirt fell down to the middle of his thighs. It smelled like Trevor and when he wrapped his arms around himself, it felt almost like he was there, hugging him. He crawled into his bed and pulled the covers over himself. He stayed there, thinking about everything and trying to work out where Trevor might have put his phone until he couldn't ignore his hunger any more.

He rolled out of bed and rooted around for a pair of jeans and quickly pulled them on before walking down to the kitchen. He put some bacon in a frying pan and buttered some bread as he waited for it to cook. He liked his bacon well done, nearly burnt, crispy enough to cut your mouth on. He put the bacon between the bread and took it down to the basement.

It was weird being here without Trevor. He'd spent a lot of time here, but never alone. He pulled some blankets over himself and ate his sandwich before falling asleep again.

When he awoke, Mike couldn't work out where he was. Then he remembered where he was, what had happened and he panicked. Should he ring the hospital? What if they were trying to get hold of him? Did they know where he was staying? He bolted upstairs to the phone and saw another note, this time in unfamiliar, rather neat handwriting.

_Sorry we missed you last night/this morning. We thought it would be best to let you sleep. The hospital knows you're staying with us, call me if there's anything you need._

There was a phone number at the bottom of the note. Mike was suddenly aware that he didn't know what either of Trevor's parents did for a living. He wondered if Trevor knew. That seemed like something Trevor could forget.

 

*

 

Trevor walked home as quickly as he could. He'd realised halfway through the day that his plan to make Mike stay home also stopped him from checking if it had worked. He hoped he knew him well enough, he really didn't want to walk all the way home if Mike was already at the hospital. He went straight down to the basement when he got there, thinking that was where Mike was most likely to be.

When he was hit in the face with a pillow, he knew he'd been right.

“Give me back my phone, you bastard.”

“Hey, man, I'm sorry, but you'd have gone alone if I left it, right?”

“Yeah, but what's wrong with that?”

“You can't do anything there.”

“I want to talk to the doctors.”

“Exactly. You'd just stress yourself out and you don't need that.”

Mike looked defeated, but still a little annoyed. Trevor slid down beside him on the beanbag.

“We can go in a second. Have you eaten?”

Mike nodded. He followed Trevor upstairs when he went to phone for a taxi and they didn't say much more. Trevor knew that sometimes, Mike preferred not to speak, so he didn't push it.

 

*

 

At the hospital, Trevor sat in the corner and listened to Mike talk to the doctors. They told him that she was still stable, that she'd live, but they were worried about brain damage, specifically memory loss. He watched Mike nod numbly.

He couldn't say or do anything. He couldn't fix this for him.

The doctor left after telling Mike that they would be waking her up the next day at noon and that he should be there.

 

*

 

They were back at the hospital at eleven thirty the next day. It was a Saturday so Trevor had been able to go with him. They'd woken up in separate beds that morning; Trevor had realised that them sleeping together when he had a perfectly good bed in the next room might look a bit weird.

Mike wasn't mad at him about the phone thing any more but he hadn't said much. He was obviously nervous in the hospital; his foot kept tapping and every time they were left alone together, he slipped his hand into Trevor's.

The doctors came in just before noon and explained what was going to happen. She had a 30% chance of brain damage, but they had high hopes. They asked Mike if he was ready, really only as a courtesy because Mike was too young to have any say on the matter.

Trevor squeezed his hand and stood up to leave. He should let Mike have some time alone with her.

 

*

 

Mike watched Trevor walk away. He hadn't realised how much he'd appreciated him being there until he had gone. The doctors moved around his grandmother and Mike didn't want to look. He waited, knowing that it would take some time for her to come round.

He couldn't help standing up when he eyes flickered open. One of the doctors shook her head and motioned for him to stop walking towards her.

“Mrs Ross? You're in the hospital, can you understand me?” she asked. “You've had a fall, you hit your head.”

“I... hospital? Where's Michael?”

“He's right here, Mrs. Ross, we just need to check that you're okay first. Can you tell me what year it is?”

Mike listened to them checking her brain function. Once she'd gotten over her confusion, she seemed fine. She answered every question perfectly.

“Okay, well I'm going to leave you alone with your grandson. You seem to be recovering perfectly.”

The doctor smiled before leaving and Mike felt a sudden rush of relief.

“Michael, are you okay?” she asked

“Are you kidding? I'm not the one in hospital, Grammy,” Mike laughed.

“Is there enough food in the house?”

“Trevor's mom told me to stay with them until you can come home, I'm fine.”

“Are you sure?”

“I'm fine! I just want you to get better. The doctors are going to want to keep you in for observation... What are we going to do about the bills?”

“Now, don't you worry about that.”

“I have to. It's important.”

“I have enough to cover it. Don't let it worry you, there's nothing you can do about it.”

“Yes, there is. I can get a job, I'm going to start looking.”

Mike knew that if they couldn't afford medical insurance, they couldn't afford bills like this. He knew she'd never admit it though. He knew that there was nothing he could say.

“Did you come here alone?” she asked, changing the subject.

“No... Trevor came with me but he went to sit in the waiting room so I could have some time with you.”

It was a lie, really. He knew that Trevor had left because he didn't want to see her, because she didn't approve in her own silent way but still, that sounded better.

“Oh, okay. Make sure you thank him and his family for letting you stay,” she replied.

“Of course. Do you want anything to drink?” Mike asked, feeling a little useless.

“No, I'm fine. I know this is silly, dear, but I'm tired. I want to get some rest, okay?”

Mike nodded and kissed her goodbye, warning her not to give the doctors too much trouble.

“I'll come back to see you tomorrow, Grammy,” he said.

 

*

 

Trevor stood up when Mike walked into the waiting room. His face was unreadable.

“How is she?” he asked.

“She's okay. No brain damage.”

“Then why don't you look happy?”

“She said she had enough money to pay the medical bills but I don't believe her. I don't know how she could have.”

“There must be something she can do. Don't worry about it.”

“That's what she said but how can I not worry about it?” Mike asked, looking panicked.

“How about you just put it out of your mind for tonight? I mean will you be able to fix it right now?”

“Well no but -”

“Well then, worrying about it right now is pointless. Let's go home, okay?”

Trevor opened the door as quietly as he could when they got home so that they could both slip down to the basement unheard. His parents would only make a fuss and he knew Mike wasn't in the mood for that. He was smiling the way that he did when he was pretending that everything was fine.

“Wanna watch a movie?” he asked.

The best thing to do with Mike was distract him. Even if he tried, Mike couldn't stop thinking about whatever was bothering him, Trevor had learned. Watching a movie was the second best way that Trevor knew how to take his mind off of something.

“Uh... I don't know what I'm in the mood for,” Mike said, flopping down onto the beanbag.

Trevor rolled his eyes and reached for one of the only DVDs in the stack next to the player that he hadn't borrowed from someone else. He saw Mike's mouth twitch and form a small smile when he held up the case. Good. He knelt down and put Fast Times At Ridgemont High into the disk tray.

Trevor sat next to Mike, their fingers overlapping and interlacing, feeling him slowly relax next to him. He would have asked if he wanted to get high but he didn't have any pot. They hadn't smoked in a while, come to think of it. They'd been so busy with... other things that they hadn't even entertained it.

“Thanks,” Mike said quietly.

“For what?”

“Everything. Being so great. Letting me fall asleep like that the other night... thanks.”

“You don't need to thank me. I...”

Trevor didn't know what he was going to say. Well, no, he did, but now really wasn't the time.

“I'm your best friend, right?” he settled for.

“Yeah,” Mike said, squeezing his hand gently and returning his attention to the screen.

Mike seemed much happier once the credits were rolling.

“Come here,” Trevor breathed, pulling him closer.

He shifted his position, swinging his leg around Mike's back and pulling him back so that he was lying flat against him. Mike reached back and pulled Trevor's arms around himself. They turned the film off and just sat there, watching whatever was on tv, Trevor occasionally running his fingers through Mike's hair.

Trevor wanted to tell Mike that if he told anyone about this, he'd kill him, but Mike already knew that.

When there was a break in the awful game show they'd ended up watching, Mike rolled over so that he was pressed up against Trevor, face to face. He was smiling and it made Trevor want to kiss him. He didn't know if he should. Mike seemed like he was happy, like he'd managed to push the worries to the back of his mind for once, but he could just be pretending. Trevor didn't have to decide, though. Mike pressed his lips to his softly, his eyes closed, fingers lacing into Trevor's again.

The kiss was slow, gentle. It made Trevor's skin tingle. It was... sweet. Mike was smiling, just a little, when he pulled away.

“Really, I meant it, you know... thank you so much for all this.”

“Man, it's nothing,” Trevor said and he kissed him again, still softly, not wanting to push it.

Trevor pressed his thighs together slightly, squeezing Mike's sides. Mike's hand brushed against his face, pulling him closer as he kissed him more intently. Trevor could feel Mike's cock hardening against him, tenting out against the denim of his jeans. A shudder ran down Trevor's spine as he felt Mike moan into his mouth, his teeth pulling roughly at his lips.

“Fuck me, Trev?” he asked suddenly, looking at him with ridiculously bright eyes.

“Uh, what?” Trevor asked. “You sure?”

“Yeah, please... fuck...” Mike said, his voice breathy as he ground down a little.

Trevor bit his lip, it was risky. His parents didn't tend to come down to the basement but he knew that they would be concerned about Mike and knowing their luck, they'd come down to check on him at a crucial moment. He was about to say something along those lines when Mike rolled his hips again, looking at him with eyes half lidded with lust and, fuck, how could he say no to that?

“Okay, you gotta be quiet though, man,” he said.

Mike nodded and rolled off of him so that Trevor could get his lube from the cupboard. Mike was already waiting, bent over the beanbag when he turned around, his jeans and underwear around his ankles. Trevor inhaled sharply and walked over to him slowly, putting the lube down on the floor. He ran his hands up Mike's back, slipping his fingers under the hem of his shirt. He really wanted him naked, but if his parents did decide to come down, they'd only have a few seconds. They couldn't risk it.

Trevor ran his fingers over Mike's hips, pulling him backwards a little, grinding his crotch against his ass.

“Fuck, please...” Mike breathed.

Trevor grinned, reaching down to palm his cock through his jeans before dropping to his knees. He ran his tongue up and along the crack of Mike's ass, pulling him open and pushing his tongue into him. Mike keened, pushing back onto him and the warmth was a little overwhelming.

Trevor reached around, closing his fingers around Mike's cock as he flicked his tongue against his hole. He felt the ring of muscle stretch around his tongue as he tasted him.

He pushed in as far as he could but it wasn't enough. Trevor pulled back and pressed a finger into Mike, letting it slide in. He heard a gasp, felt him rock back against his knuckle so he added another finger and began to scissor them, turning his wrist, letting the tips of his fingers press gently against the spot that he knew would drive Mike crazy.

“Fuck, fuck, please,” Mike breathed, a little louder than before.

“Shhh, Mikey, you gotta be quiet,” Trevor said, pulling his fingers out slowly.

He opened the lube and squeezed some out onto his fingers. He slipped them back into him, crooking them and opening him up further. Mike's breathing was heavy now, practically panting and his muscles were squeezing around Trevor's fingers.

“Trevor, please, just fuck me,” Mike whispered and Trevor couldn't hold back any longer.

His cock was aching in his jeans, throbbing against the metal of his zip. He pulled them down as far as he needed to, pulling his cock out of his underwear and coating it with lube. He lined up and pulled Mike back towards him, slowly pushing into him. Mike dropped his head, moaning into the beanbag beneath him. Trevor held onto his hips, pulling him back further until he bottomed out, making Mike groan. He ran his hands up, pushing Mike's shirt up around him, revealing more skin, wanting to run his tongue all over him.

He began to thrust into him, dropping his head to press his teeth into Mike's back.

“Fuck!” Mike said, a little too loudly.

He pressed his face harder into the beanbag and pushed his hips back, sliding back onto him. Trevor felt Mike tense slightly under him as he thrust harder into him. His breathing was muffled as he tried to stop himself from making too much noise. Trevor wrapped his fingers around his cock, jerking it in time with his thrusts and Mike groaned as he came. Trevor pulled him back hard, trying to hold off for a little longer but ultimately failing. He dropped his head and kissed Mike's spine, coming into him hard as his muscles clenched around him.

Trevor wished Mike didn't ever have to move back home.

 


	11. Bills

After a while, Grammy came home. She was still a little weak but she was recovering well. Mike was glad that he didn't have to visit the hospital any more. Everyone was nice there but he had never liked those places. It was the smell, it had always been the smell. Too clean, too clinical.

He was happy to be back at school but he missed staying with Trevor. They had joked that it had been like a glimpse into their future but Mike really thought he could get used to waking up with him.

Mike was amazed at how happy just having dinner with his grandmother again made him. He hadn't wanted her to cook, he didn't think she was ready to do anything like that yet but she wouldn't listen to him. It finally felt like everything was getting back to normal, but when she looked at him across the dining table and just said “Michael” he knew that something was wrong.

“What is it?”

“I can't keep this from you. The medical bills were higher than I thought. If I use my savings to pay them, we're not going to be able to afford the rent here,” she said.

“What?!”

“We wont lose everything, it's not as bad as it sounds. We'll have to move though.”

“I... It's okay. How long do we have?” Mike asked.

“Three weeks.”

“I'll get a job, pay rent with that,” he said.

“We'll be fine, you know this area is a little out of our price range. I'm not having you trying to support us.”

“Area? Would we have to move far? Would I have to move schools?”

“It's only for your last year. You'll be fine.”

“Please, Grammy, just let me try to get a job...”

“Is this about Trevor?”

“What? I... he's my best friend. And there's Jenny and I don't want us to have to move at all. Please.”

“Mike...”

“Grammy! I'm not a kid okay? I want to help.”

“I can't stop you.”

 

*

 

“Man, are you okay?” Trevor asked.

Mike had been quiet all day.

“Uh... no. No, not really,” Mike replied. “I might have to move away. Not too far but I'd have to change schools.”

Trevor felt like he'd been punched in the gut.

“What?”

“If I did, we'd still be friends, right? We could still go to college together?”

Trevor nodded, looking at Mike from across the table, unable to think of anything to say.

“Why?” he asked eventually.

“Medical bills. I need to look for a job. If I can pay the rent, I can stay.”

Trevor didn't know what to say. Lately, he'd felt like everything was finally the way it should be; he had Mike, Jenny... everything he wanted. Now everything was falling apart.

“How long do we have?” he asked.

Mike raised his eyebrows and Trevor thought that maybe it was because he'd said “we”. Like “how long do we have together?”. That hadn't been what he'd meant but he felt another twinge in his stomach.

“Three weeks.”

“Wanna come to mine tomorrow night? Make it a good one in case we can't do it for a while?”

Mike grinned and nodded. Trevor was going to have to make this good.

 

*

 

Trevor walked up to a house that he hadn't seen in a while. He knocked the door and waited.

“Trevor? Jeez, I haven't seen you in ages.”

“Yeah, sorry. Been busy.”

“You wanna come inside?”

“Yeah. Thanks.”

The guy moved aside and Trevor stepped into the house, shutting the door behind him. He hadn't bought any pot in a long time. He'd been happy enough just being with Mike, they'd had enough to do but now he was obligated to show Mike a good time. Ben returned and Trevor handed him some cash in return for a small bag that he slipped into his pocket.

“So what have you been up to? I thought you might have started buying from someone else.”

“Nah, man, just been busy and out of cash.”

“You looking for work?”

“What? Why?”

“I'm, er, branching out.”

Ben was a friend of Trevor's cousin. He'd known him since he was young and he'd been growing a small amount of pot and selling it to friends for years. If he was branching out, as he put it, he must have started growing more.

“Okay, how much?”

“A bit. I have a drop to make tomorrow but I don't think I'll be able to make it.”

“You paying then?”

“Obviously. You interested? I'll give you a case, you'll take it to the address and bring back the case they give you. I'll give you two.”

“Two?”

“Thousand. I'll give you two thousand. You in?”

“Shit man. Yeah, you're branching out.”

Trevor didn't know what to say. He didn't have anything against dealers but there was a huge difference between smoking a little bit and dealing. He would have been fine dropping a little bit somewhere but enough to pay the runner that much? Fuck. He wasn't sure he wanted to. But Mike needed him.

“I'm in.”

 

*

 

Trevor left his house at 10 am. Mike was going to be at his at 2, so he didn't have time to wait around. He walked to the bus stop and waited. He kept the briefcase close to him as he rode the bus into town, slightly worried that he looked too young to carry it.

He got off the bus and followed Ben's directions to an apartment block. He climbed the stairs and found 2B, knocking quickly. The door opened to reveal a man, around 30.

“Yeah?” he asked.

“Uh, Ben sent me?”

The man nodded and reached behind the door, pulling out and identical case to the one Trevor was holding. They swapped and Trevor resisted the urge to check the case that he'd been handed.

By the time he'd hopped on another bus and walked to Ben's it was 12 o'clock. He opened the door and let Trevor in. They both walked through to the kitchen and Trevor placed the case onto the counter. Ben opened it and Trevor couldn't help the way that his eyes widened at the sight of the money. When Ben grabbed two of the bundles and handed them to him, he realised there was at least 20K in there.

“Fuck, man,” he said.

Trevor still felt a little nervous about what he'd just done. He knew this sort of thing could be dangerous. That was why he'd always used Ben, small time dealers were less hassle. Now that he saw the money, though, he was warming to the idea. He knew he'd be lucky to make that in a year at a real job.

He left soon after that, needing to get home for Mike. Ben had his number. He said he'd call if he needed him again. Trevor said he'd think about it.

Mike got to his shortly after Trevor arrived home.

“Hey man, how's the job hunt going?” he asked him.

Mike grimaced.

“Shit. Nobody is hiring.”

They went down to the basement and Trevor motioned to the fridge, a silent _get me a drink if you're going to stay in my house so often_. Mike walked over and opened the fridge. Trevor laughed when he heard him gasp.

“Holy shit, is this real?!”

“Of course it's real. What? You think I got two thousand dollars in fake money somehow?”

“Two... what? Shit. Trev, what did you do?”

Mike looked worried. Really worried. Trevor hadn't expected that.

“I didn't kill anyone, calm down. I just made a drop for someone.”

“Drugs? Really, Trevor? Dealing?”

“I'm not really dealing, I just made a delivery.”

“Not how the cops would see it.”

“What, you suddenly have a problem with pot?”

“This is different! Fuck, what if you'd been caught?”

“I didn't. I wouldn't. I thought you would have been happy. You don't have to worry about rent for at least a couple of months, now, right?”

“What? No, no, I can't let you do that man.”

“That's why I did it. I need you to stay here, Mikey.”

Trevor threw his arms around Mike's neck. They'd just been standing there and shouting at each other. He felt Mike relax a little as he kissed him.

“Trevor, no, you can't just kiss me and expect this to go away,” Mike said. “I can't accept your drug money.”

“You can and you will or I did this for nothing. Mike... I'm sorry, okay? You just have to stay. I can't lose you. You're my best friend.”

“Exactly,” Mike replied. “You don't have to do this. We'll be fine.”

“It's done now. Just take it. Please?”

“Just this once?”

Trevor nodded. He'd just have to find another way to convince Mike next time.

“I... fuck. Trevor, I don't want to leave, you know,” he said. “You just can't do shit like this. I don't want you to mess your life up.”

“I know. I just need you to stay. Mike, I – love you.”

As soon as he'd said it, he realised it wasn't as big of a deal as he'd thought it would be. He'd been worried that it was going to change them, worried that it would put pressure on whatever it was that they had together but he could see from Mike's face that everything was fine. It was like he'd said something that they'd both known forever.

“I know, you're my oldest friend...”

“No... I mean...”

“I _know_. I love you too.”

 

*

 

Mike didn't think he'd ever been happier. Grammy had recovered well and hadn't asked too many questions. She seemed believe Mike's story about starting to tutor people for money and she didn't ask too many questions when he produced more money each month. It was nearly the end of May when the money started to run out and Mike started to panic. He considered talking to Trevor and Jenny about it to see if they could come up with something together. Something legal this time.

He'd been taking the law class that his guidance counsellor had suggested and had spent a lot of time catching up, reading everything he could get his hands on. Now, now that he knew the facts, he couldn't stand the thought of Trevor getting in trouble.

On Saturday morning, Mike walked over to his and knocked on his door. He waited. He waited a little longer. He really should have a key cut by now. Finally, he heard footsteps and the door opened. Trevor was standing there, just in his boxers, obviously just out of bed. He was running his hand lazily through his hair.

“What if it wasn't me at the door?” Mike asked.

Trevor shrugged.

“What are they gonna do?”

Trevor grabbed Mike's hand and pulled him inside before shutting the door. He dragged him upstairs and Mike didn't even get to say another word before they were in Trevor's bedroom. Trevor jumped right into bed, pulling Mike in with him. He didn't seem to be trying to start anything – Trevor just hugged him, closing his eyes. They stayed like that for a few minutes and Mike thought that Trevor might have fallen asleep. He hadn't, though.

After a while, he nudged Mike with his nose, mumbling something too quietly for Mike to hear.

“What?” he asked.

“I'm sorry,” Trevor repeated.

“What? What for?”

“I'm not losing you, okay?”

“What do you mean?”

“Under the bed. Don't be mad, okay?”

Mike's heart dropped. What had Trevor done?

He reached under the bed and felt around. His hand closed around a bag and he pulled it up onto the bed. Trevor looked worried as Mike unzipped it.

“What the fuck?! How much?”

“It's fifteen thousand. I thought it should be enough to keep you here.”

Mike couldn't look at him. It wasn't even the illegality of it all... it was the sheer amount of money. He knew what that money meant, how much it was worth. How much normal, hard working people had to go through to get it. It wasn't fair.

“You can't... you said you wouldn't do it again.”

“It was just one more deal,” Trevor said.

“That doesn't make it any better!”

Mike didn't even want to think about how much pot he would have had to deliver to make this much money. Or how much trouble he would have been in if he'd been caught.

He didn't want to think about the fact that he'd done it all for him or the fact that Trevor probably wouldn't be able to stop, not now that he'd seen this sort of money.

He didn't want to think about any of it. So he didn't.

“I had to, I can't lose you,” Trevor said.

Mike zipped the bag back up and put it under the bed.

“We're not talking about this,” he said quietly. “I can't.”

 


	12. That Time At The Lake

 Summer break came quicker than expected. Mike could barely believe that they only had one year left at school. One Monday, a few weeks in, Jenny phoned him up and asked if he was free for a few days. He told her he was going to be seeing Trevor but that they hadn't planned anything in particular.

“Want to come to a party?” she asked.

“Over a few days? What?”

“My cousins are getting a cabin at a lake and asked me if I wanted to come up for a few days. They said I should bring some friends.”

Jenny hadn't seen her old friends in a few months. Mike expected it to bother her more than it did. She seemed fine about it, but he knew she had nobody else to invite. Not that he needed a reason to say yes.

“Sure, that sounds cool. How are you getting there?”

“They're picking me up. Shall I ask Trevor or do you want to?”

“I'm going around there in a minute, so I can ask him. When are you leaving?”

“Wednesday,” Jenny said.

Mike was just about to leave when he heard a tap at his window. Trevor was sitting on the tree branch outside, swinging his legs and grinning. Mike opened the window and pulled him inside, kissing him.

“Jenny wants to know if we're going to a party with her.”

“When?”

“Wednesday but it's at a lake cabin or something, so we'd be staying up there for a few days.”

“Why? Is it a family thing?”

“Sort of, I think it's her cousins. They're renting out a cabin and throwing a party. You up for it?”

“Yeah, sounds good. Is your grandmother out?”

Mike nodded. That must mean that Trevor's parents were home and he was horny.

“I, uh, don't have any lube though,” Mike said.

Trevor rolled his eyes and pulled Mike over to his bed. He pulled his jeans off, kicked his shoes off and motioned for Mike to follow. He did so as Trevor crawled to the other end of the bed, lying down the opposite way to Mike.

“Oh,” Mike said, grinning. He pulled down Trevor's underwear, revealing his rapidly hardening cock as Trevor did the same. His mouth was hot, enveloping, perfect and Mike couldn't help pulling his head down.

“Fuck, sorry,” he said as Trevor choked a little.

He just snorted with laughter and kept going as Mike sank down on his cock. He didn't know why they hadn't done this before. It didn't take long before they were both rutting against each other, fingers in hair, pulling desperately as they fucked each other's mouths.

Trevor spluttered, swallowing hard as he came, swirling his tongue to pull Mike over the edge with him.

 

*

 

They were pretty excited about the party but neither Trevor nor Mike knew that they'd be looking back on it as one of the best times of their lives. They turned up at Jenny's at eleven, bags packed (clothes, swimming shorts, some beer and a couple of bags of pot). Her cousins were already there, bags tied to the roof. Trevor wondered if they were spending the rest of the summer there.

“What you got yourself two boyfriends?” one of them asked, nudging Jenny in the ribs.

“No, no, they're the boyfriends, I'm just their friend.”

Eyebrows were raised all around. Trevor and Mike were both looking at each other, shocked. Trevor turned to glare at Jenny but she just shrugged. In her defence, neither of her cousins seemed to care and they didn't know anyone from school.

“So you two are gay, then?” the older guy asked.

Trevor shrugged. He still wasn't sure how he was supposed to answer that question.

“We're... together.”

“Okay, cool. We'll I'm Rick and this is Jamie,” he said, motioning to the younger one. “You guys ready?”

Mike and Trevor jumped into the back of the car, sliding along to let Jenny sit next to them. Rick got into the driver's seat as Jamie checked the bags on the roof. He reached into the back seat to grab their bags.

“It's going to be a long drive, you guys are going to want to get comfortable.”

They drove for a while in silence, moving towards the edge of the city. They sped up as the traffic thinned, Rick and Jamie starting to discuss plans. Trevor almost recoiled when he felt Mike slip his hand into his but he fought the instinct. It was then that he realised that he could be himself, they could be together, properly, for once. Sure, maybe they couldn't do everything a straight couple could but, fuck, it was more than they could usually do.

Rick put the radio on and they drove with the windows down, enjoying the summer breeze. It took nearly three hours to get to the cabin. Trevor couldn't help laughing at the cliché. College guys spending the summer at a lake, partying. It was a good cliché, though. The water was clear, the sun was bright and Trevor might have even been feeling a little romantic. They all grabbed their bags and walked up the path to the cabin. It was spacious inside, there were five bedrooms and a few couches downstairs.

“So, are you having other people stay here, too?” Jenny asked.

“Yeah, they'll be arriving later. You guys want to choose your rooms?”

The rooms were all the same size, with double beds. There wasn't much else in them but Trevor doubted that people did much sleeping in a place like this.

Jenny took the room at the top of the stairs and Trevor walked along to the next door.

“You want to have a room between us?” he asked Mike. “I mean, they know already.”

“Sure, why not?”

They fell down onto the bed and stretched, their legs a little tense from the car ride.

“It's nice here,” Mike said. “We should do something like this when we're in college.”

“Yeah. I like it.”

Trevor liked that he could just be with Mike here. He liked that it didn't have to be anything, that it didn't have to define them because nobody cared. Mike slipped his head into the dip of Trevor's shoulder. He tilted his head up and kissed him softly, his legs moving to push between Trevor's, twisting around them. They lay there together for a while before the smell of cooking wafted up the stairs and Jenny called up to them. They pulled apart and walked downstairs, walking out to the back of the cabin.

There was a stretch of decking that overlooked the lake, a barbecue stood near the edge and Jamie was slowly turning some half-cooked sausages over.

“You guys want something to eat? We're putting some chicken on in a bit.”

“Yeah, I could go for something to eat,” Trevor said.

He watched as Mike walked to the edge of the decking and kicked off his shoes and socks before sitting down and kicking the surface of the water. Trevor dropped down beside him, crossing his legs and taking a beer from the cooler.

They ate, watching some fish swim in the shallow waters of the lake. It was hot, almost unbearably so. Jamie pulled off his shirt and kicked off his shoes. He was definitely attractive but Trevor was too busy watching the way Mike's eyes looked brighter than he'd ever seen them to notice. Light reflecting from the rippling water was dancing across his face, flickering across his eyes, making them look like part of the lake. Mike blinked and looked up at him, smiling, really smiling for the first time in a long time.

He'd had a hard year, what with his grandmother getting injured, worrying about paying bills and taking on extra work for his law class. Trevor had noticed a change in him but he hadn't realised how much of a change it had been until Mike had smiled like that again.

Jamie dropped his shorts, he'd been wearing something to swim in underneath. He dove in, making everyone jump a little.

“How's the water?” Rick asked when his brother resurfaced.

“Cold, but good.”

Mike looked at Trevor and raised his eyebrows.

“Wanna get changed and take a swim?” he asked.

They went back upstairs, pulling clothes out of their bags to find swimming trunks. Trevor pulled off his shirt and flinched when he felt Mike's fingers brush against his chest from behind. He spun around, letting Mike pull him closer. They kissed quickly, but Trevor could hear splashing and laughter from downstairs.

“Now?” he asked.

He didn't know how everyone would take it they just disappeared upstairs.

“No, no, I just wanted to kiss you okay?”

Trevor kissed him again, slowly, hoping to stave off the urges to just lock the door and throw Mike down onto the bed.

“Guys? Can you bring some sunscreen down with you? I've got some in my bag,” Jenny called.

Mike sighed and pulled away.

“Yeah, we'll be down in a second,” he called back.

Trevor watched as he pulled the rest of his clothes off, picking up his swimming trunks. Trevor felt his cock harden as he watched him step into them, faint bruises still visible on his hips from the last time they were alone together.

“Do we have to go down straight away? I mean, we've got some time, right?”

Mike shook his head and Trevor had to take a deep breath to stop the images racing through his mind. It wasn't like Mike didn't want to stay, he'd shaken his head grudgingly but he was probably right. They shouldn't do this right now. He got changed quickly and went back downstairs.

“Look guys,” Jamie said as Mike and Trevor joined them. “If you wanna go upstairs and, you know, whatever, you're welcome to.”

Trevor looked at Mike, he was blushing. He knew by now that Mike couldn't, wouldn't, do anything with him if someone knew about it. Jenny had offered her room to them a few times but Mike had declined every time.

“No, it's cool,” Mike said.

Trevor looked away when he picked up the sunscreen bottle. He didn't need to watch him sliding his hands over himself, not now. Jenny went into the downstairs bathroom to change into her bikini, whilst the other guys started to phone people to let them know it was okay to come over. Trevor jumped when he felt something cold on his shoulders; Mike was rubbing sunscreen into his skin.

“Oh come on, it's not that sunny,” he said.

“Are you kidding me? You're so pale, you need to watch out,” Mike replied.

Trevor just sighed, letting Mike work down his back, letting out a slight groan as he started to massage it into his lower back. Thirty seconds later he snatched the bottle, opting to do the rest himself. Mike's hands were just a little too good.

When he was done and he'd passed the sunscreen to Jenny, Trevor stood by the edge of the lake. The water looked clear, perfect, but he couldn't bring himself to jump in. It had to be freezing.

Suddenly, Mike's hand was in his and for a split second they were standing there together, looking at the scenery, the perfect trees, the bubbling stream feeding the lake but then Mike was pulling, running and Trevor had no choice but to run with him.

They jumped together, cannonballs, hand-in-hand.

They hit the water and it wasn't that cold. The water was clean enough that Trevor could see everything when he opened his eyes under it, not that there was much to see for a few seconds: a flurry of limbs, a million bubbles but then it cleared, they got their bearings and Mike was grinning back at him.

Trevor didn't ever want to surface but then the pressure in his chest got to be too much and he had to go up for air. Mike broke the surface right after him, smiling and rubbing water out of his eyes. He swam forwards, wrapping his legs around Trevor's chest. They couldn't touch the bottom and Trevor had to kick his legs hard to keep them both afloat. He kissed him, their lips wet and slipping over each other as voices they didn't recognise started to echo out across the water.

People were arriving. Trevor fought the instinct to separate, to flee. He didn't know these people. It didn't matter what they thought. Fuck it. He slipped a hand up the back of Mike's neck, letting his fingers tangle in his wet hair. He kissed him again.

Mike looked slightly confused, shocked, but he didn't stop him. They weren't far from the decking but it felt like they were miles away, in their own little world, the noises of other people diving into the lake so close, yet so far. They didn't need to focus on them, not now, not in that single moment when they just had each other.

It wasn’t long until time started moving normally again though, until the world was more than just Mike's smile.

“You guys okay?” Jenny asked.

She was treading water next to them, hair still dry, immaculate, without effort. She was smiling how she often did when she saw them do something like hold hands.

“Yeah, we're good,” Mike said.

Trevor noticed that they'd drifted away from the cabin a little, letting the gentle waves from people jumping into the lake wash them away. They weren't too far , though. Trevor still noticed the familiar odour of pot drifting out towards them. They both looked looked up, smiling as they saw the source: two guys were smoking a joint, dangling their feet over the edge of the decking. Trevor doubted they had more than a little on them. Maybe he'd be able to make some money later. He could see a few of the people around them raising their eyebrows, making conversation with them. Yeah, he'd be able to sell here.

“Come on,” Mike said and Trevor felt him tug on his arm. He looked around and saw Mike splashing away. He swam after him, easily catching up as Mike reached a rock sticking out from the water. It was shielded from view by an overhanging branch and they both climbed up onto it. Trevor wrapped his arms and legs around Mike, surprised at how relieved he was to be alone with him, even in a place like this, where they could be themselves around everyone. Granted, they had received a few looks, but nobody had said anything.

“Fuck, I love it here,” Mike said.

Trevor mumbled in agreement, nuzzling into the back of Mike's hair. There was a gentle breeze, just enough to make the hairs on Trevor's neck stand up. They sat together for a while, watching Jenny talk to a guy that they didn't like the look of.

“Do you think she's okay?” Trevor asked.

Mike shrugged.

“She can handle herself.”

Some girls arrived and the guys on the deck reacted predictably, practically swarming around them. From the distance, Mike and Trevor could see it all, they were at the perfect vantage point to study the behaviour. Not that Trevor was, he was too busy running his thumbs along Mike's shoulders, so he didn't understand why Mike was suddenly laughing.

“What is it?” he asked.

“Nothing. Pizza's here.”

The guys had stopped desperately pestering the girls in the bikinis the moment the pizza guy had turned up. It seemed that some things were more important than sex after all.

“Wanna grab some before it's gone?” Trevor asked.

Mike nodded and they slipped back into the lake to swim back to shore. They walked out, shaking the water out of their hair. The pizza was obviously cheap but it wasn't bad. It was gone in minutes.

Beers were passed around and one of the guys asked Mike if he'd prefer something a little more girly, pointing to the cocktails Jenny had laid out. Mike just smiled and shrugged, squeezing Trevor's hand to calm him down.

 

*

 

Mike was enjoying himself for once. Maybe it was the novelty of not having to give a crap what anyone thought, being able to be himself (a novelty most people didn't notice because normal people were themselves anyway, surely) or maybe it was the lake, but it was the best party he'd been to in a while. He didn't even mind when a guy jokingly asked if he'd prefer a cocktail to a beer. The guy hadn't been aggressive with him and they did look nice. Trevor still bristled at it, though.

The two of them found somewhere to sit, somewhere they could observe Jenny to make sure she was okay. She was attracting quite a lot of attention.

“Hey, save my seat, I'll be right back,” Trevor said and slipped into the house.

Mike overheard a conversation not far from where he was sitting.

“Oh. Do you think you'll be able to get any more?”

“Out here? I don't know, ask around. Maybe someone knows how.”

Trevor reappeared less than a minute later and made a beeline for them. _Oh_.

“Did you just deal?” Mike asked as soon as he returned.

Not that he really minded, passing some on at a party wasn't really dealing.

“Yeah, I made a few bucks,” he said.

Mike watched him roll a joint with some of what they had left. He lit up, smoked a bit before passing it to Mike.

 

*

 

There was a group of girls not far from where they were sitting, leaning in close and whispering whilst looking right at Mike. Subtle. One of them looked a little concerned, scared even. They were all quite attractive and one of them in particular looked like she thought the world owed her something. Trevor knew her type. She was smirking at Mike in a way that he really didn't like and she tossed her hair over her shoulder before walking towards him.

“Hey,” she said, all smile, full lips and perfect teeth. Trevor didn't like her. “I'm Jade.”

“Oh, uh, hi,” Mike said, passing the joint back to Trevor.

The rest of the girls had walked over now and some of them seemed more interested in him. Of course, he had the drugs now.

“Mind if I sit down?” Jade asked.

There wasn't another seat and Mike just looked confused.

“Uh sure?”

He had a slightly glazed expression already, the small amount of pot had just hit him. Jade grinned, tossed her long hair over her shoulder again and sat down on Mike's knee. Trevor saw Mike's eyes widen as she threw her arms around his neck. She wasn't wearing much at all, just a tiny, pink bikini. Trevor saw red.

“Uh, what did you say your name was again? Jade?” he asked, trying to keep the venom out of his voice, for Mike's sake. He took another toke of the joint and passed it back to Mike.

“Yeah,” she said.

“Okay, well he's not interested,” he replied as the girl watched Mike smoke.

“What?” she asked, turning to look at Trevor for the first time.

“I said,” Trevor said, raising his voice slightly, “he isn't interested. Are you, Mike?”

Trevor was really trying to not get angry but he didn't even want a girl like that to be near Mike. He knew it should help that Mike looked uncomfortable and not at all interested, but that just made him want to get her the fuck off of him even more.

“I'm sure he can speak for himself,” Jade said, turning back to Mike, moving around in his lap and almost pressing her boobs into his face. She was obviously used to getting everything and everyone she wanted.

“Uh, yeah, I'm taken,” Mike said finally.

“Oh, well, what she doesn't know wont hurt her,” she said. “Is she here with you?”

Too much.

“Who said it was a she?” Trevor growled.

“Please get off of me,” Mike said quietly.

Jade looked between the two of them in confusion, standing up when Mike insisted.

“I don't get it,” she said.

“You don't need to get it. He doesn't want you. Go away.”

Mike reached across and squeezed Trevor's hand. It only almost worked at calming him down.

“Wait, what? The two of you are together?” Jade asked.

“And what if we are?” Trevor asked.

“Oh, nothing,” she said, placing one hand on her hip. “Ever had a threesome?”

One of her awful friends giggled. Trevor stood up, making her back away.

“Leave.”

He didn't want to make a scene, he knew that Mike would hate it but he didn't have to. She took a second to compose herself before leaving and taking her friends with her.

“Sorry,” Trevor said immediately, expecting Mike to be angry that he'd gotten aggressive. He didn't, though, he just looked at him with a small smile before thanking him quietly.

“You wanna go somewhere else?” Trevor asked when he noticed that a few more girls were eyeing them up.

“Upstairs?” Mike asked, a glint in his eye.

That hadn't been what he'd meant but, fuck, if he'd even needed convincing, the way Mike's tongue snaked out across his lip would have done it. They stood up and pushed their way through the mass of people to get inside. Trevor felt Mike's hand slip into his as they ran upstairs, grinning at each other. There were people sitting in the hall upstairs, kissing each other sloppily. Luckily, no drunk couples had found their way into their bedroom, Trevor didn't want to have to deal with that. He locked the door behind them and turned around to see Mike standing there looking expectant.

“You know this wasn't what I meant when I suggested we go somewhere?” he asked.

“Oh. Well we don't have to if-”

“No, fuck, I want to. I just meant... I want to, trust me, I do.”

Trevor walked forwards, kissing him quickly. They pressed together, their skin slightly cool from the air outside. Trevor ran his hands up Mike's back, fingertips pressing into his shoulder blades, feeling the way they moved as he breathed. They both moved towards the bed, sitting down on it and falling back onto the pillows. They could hear distant laughter and music from outside and Trevor began to worry about Jenny. He hoped she was okay, but then Mike's fingers were running along his stomach and all thoughts went out of the window. They kissed again, slower this time, letting their lips brush over each other, teeth pulling softly at skin. Mike pressed closer to him and Trevor couldn't help but grin when he felt his erection, his hips rocking against him.

 

*

 

Mike felt like he wanted this more than anything in the world. There was something about this party, this cabin, like it was what everything his life had been leading up to, like it was so real, yet so fantastic all at once. It shouldn't have been, it was just a party, but it was a proper one, like you'd see in a film and people had accepted the two of them without any issues. It was like this moment marked the start of something new in his life, like this was how his life was always supposed to be.

Then all he could think about was how good it felt to be pressed up against Trevor, how much he wanted to push it further, in any way that he could. He felt like they should do something special, but at the same time he just wanted to have sex with him.

“Lie down,” he said quickly.

Trevor did it, flopping down onto the bed. Mike rifled through their bags to find the lube. He could see Trevor slowly stroking himself as he found it and finally found the courage to speak up.

“Uh, so you know I'm always bottom?” he asked quietly.

“Yeah?”

Mike didn't want to kill the mood, he'd heard the hesitation in his voice.

“Well I thought maybe I could show you what it was like.”

“Oh... uh...”

Trevor looked a little worried and Mike understood. It was an intimidating thought and Mike knew it was completely new to him.

“You can say no, it was just an idea,” Mike said quickly. “I didn't mean I was going to fuck you or anything. Just, uh, maybe I could do something, give you a taste of it.”

Trevor nodded silently, not taking his eyes off of Mike as he walked over to the bed. He kissed Trevor quickly, hoping he'd untense soon enough. They both wriggled out of their swimming trunks.

“Relax? It's no big deal. If you don't like it we can stop and you can just fuck me,” Mike said, kissing his way down Trevor's body. He ran his tongue over the head of his cock as he passed it, earning himself a small moan. He paused when he reached his destination, not wanting to go too fast. He ran a hand up to stroke Trevor's cock slowly, knowing this would go much better if Trevor was more aroused. Once his breathing had sped up a little, Mike gave his cock a small squeeze before letting go, using both hands to open Trevor's ass as he ran his tongue along the newly revealed skin.

This was new, for both of them and he heard Trevor breathe in deeply as he tensed up. Mike circled his tongue slowly around his hole, ignoring his own pressing arousal as Trevor squirmed slightly. He pulled away, opening the lube and liberally coating one finger. Trevor looked down at him, anxiety written on his face. Mike tried to reassure him by kissing the inside of his thigh but he knew that the best thing he could do would be to keep going, to show him that there was (really, really) nothing to be worried about. Trevor was the tough one, the one that nobody fucked with and he was obviously worried about not being able to handle it. Mike pressed the tip of his finger into Trevor, letting it slide slowly in, watching his face for cues. Trevor looked confused but he didn't look like he wanted it to stop.

Mike knew that it must be a weird feeling at first, so he kept going, turning his wrist ever so slightly, crooking his fingertip to find what he was looking for.

“Oh...” Trevor said quietly, more in shock than anything else.

Mike repeated his action, grinning when Trevor's hips bucked up.

“F-fuck...” he breathed and Mike pulled back, carefully adding another finger and pushing them both back in to the knuckle. He could feel Trevor's pulse throbbing around his fingers, that tiny bundle of nerves jolting with every pump of his heart. He began to thrust his fingers slowly into him, making sure to angle them just right. Every time he passed over that spot, Trevor's cock twitched a little, jumping up away from his body. His breathing was shallow, pre come leaking over his stomach and Mike knew he had him. He'd been a little worried that he wouldn't like it, he knew it wasn't for everyone but there was no way he'd say no again.

Trevor's hand drifted down to his cock, stroking it slowly at first, building up momentum when Mike added a third finger. He could tell Trevor was close, he couldn't have that. He still wanted him to fuck him.

“Hey, less of that,” Mike said. “I'm just showing you what it's like for next time. You're still fucking me.”

Trevor grunted a little but dropped his hand. Mike knew he should stop too but he'd been picturing this for so long and Trevor looked so much better than he'd ever imagined. He flicked his wrist, drawing a deep groan from him and began circling his fingers inside of him.

“Fuck – Mike, stop, I'm gonna come...” Trevor stuttered and Mike couldn't help being surprised.

He really, really wanted to see Trevor come just from that but, no, he needed him inside of him. He pulled his fingers out slowly, laughing at the noise Trevor made at the loss. Mike spread more lube onto his fingers and laid back on the bed. He pressed them into himself, much less carefully now. He worked quickly, opening himself up as Trevor panted next to him.

“Fuck... Mike, I don't think I'm going to last that long,” he said.

“Yes you are,” Mike replied with a grin. “You liked that, right? You last long enough to make me come and I'll fuck you properly next time.”

Trevor groaned and rolled up on his knees, taking the lube from Mike and squeezing some onto his palm. Mike watched him stroke his cock slowly to coat it, grinning at how loosely he was gripping, his lip held tightly between his teeth. He probably wouldn't last, Mike knew.

Trevor moved closer, parting Mike's knees and positioning himself between them. They both took a deep breath as Trevor lined up, the tip of his cock pressing against Mike's entrance. The feeling of Trevor sliding into him was dizzying but the noise he made when he did was even better.

“Oh, fuck, Mike you're so tight, I can't...” Trevor breathed.

“Just shut up and fuck me,” Mike replied.

If this was going to be over soon, he wanted it to be good whilst it lasted.

Trevor whimpered and dug his fingers into Mike's hips, pulling him harder onto his cock. He started to thrust, slow but deep. Mike could see the concentration on his face, he could feel his legs shaking from the effort it was taking to hold back his orgasm. Mike wrapped his hand around his cock and pumped it quickly, pushing himself closer. It wasn't going to take him much but it didn't look like Trevor was going to last more than a few seconds. He sped up and thrust back onto Trevor's cock, pulling him over the edge with him. Mike squeezed his eyes shut as he came, heart racing, breath shallow. Trevor groaned, unintelligible words escaping his lips as he collapsed onto him.

“Holy shit,” he breathed after a few moments.

“Yeah...” Mike agreed, kissing him deeply.

They lay there until their legs started to cramp and the cooling semen started to be actually quite disgusting.

“There's a shower through that door, you know,” Trevor said, pointing to the door of the adjoining bathroom. Mike smiled and sat up, stretching out his limbs. They both stood up awkwardly and walked into the bathroom. Mike was surprised at the size of it; the room was almost as big as the bedroom it was attached to. There was a toilet and sink, a bathtub and a separate shower cubicle. The shower wasn't huge, they were going to have to squeeze if they were going to get in together but Mike wasn't going to complain.

He reached into the cubicle and turned on the water. Trevor came up behind him and kissed his shoulders as they waited for the water to heat up. They stepped in when the steam started to fill the room, Mike moving closer to the wall so that Trevor could step in and slide the door shut behind him. They stood under the water, letting it wash everything away. Trevor ran his hand through Mike's hair, pushing it out of his eyes and moving the water through it.

Mike kissed him, smiling at the way that the water ran over their lips. They washed, themselves and each other, not realising how long they'd been in there until there was a distant knock.

“Guys? Are you alright in there? You'd better not be sleeping.”

It was Jenny, calling from the hallway.

“We're showering,” Mike shouted. “We'll be out soon.”

“Okay, well hurry up, you've been ages.”

They grinned and shut the water off. They towelled off roughly, not worrying too much. It was almost dark outside but it was still warm enough to swim. They pulled their swimming shorts back on and kissed each other one last time before unlocking the door. Trevor grabbed his bag and followed Mike downstairs.

The party had quietened down a little now; people were sitting down in groups, some of them too drunk to do much else. Jenny was sitting on a bench with one of her cousins and the guy they'd seen her with earlier. Mike really didn't like the look of him but Jenny obviously did. Mike didn't even know what it was about the guy... he was used to Trevor, people didn't usually make him uncomfortable straight away but there was something about him.

Trevor pulled two beers from a cooler nearby and handed one to Mike. Jenny waved at them, slightly distracted by the guy she was talking to.

“Does that guy seem like a dick to you?” Mike asked quietly.

“Uh, I don't know, why?”

Mike shrugged.

“Come on, let's find somewhere to sit,” Trevor said.

The place was pretty crowded; it looked like even more people had arrived when they were upstairs. They walked around the edge of the lake and found some blankets that had been abandoned in a heap. Mike spread one of them out and sat down on it. Trevor dropped down beside him, looking around. They were out of view from most of the party but they could just see Jenny from where they were. The two of them watched some people nearby playing spin the bottle and Mike couldn't help smiling, remembering how that game had changed everything.

Before long, it was dark. Trevor pulled one of the other blankets over both of them when the breeze became a little stronger. It wasn't cold, just a little cool. Mike could imagine sleeping there, especially with Trevor's arms wrapped around him like that.

 

*

 

Trevor smiled at Jenny when she looked over at them. He really didn't want to have to move any time soon. He rolled over slightly and looked up at the sky, suddenly amazed by the amount of stars he could see. He didn't get out of the city often and he'd never really thought about how few stars they could see there. Here, aside from the lamps at the cabin and a few camp fires that people had started, there were no lights for miles. Trevor was sure that, if he asked, Mike would have been able to name all of the constellations he was looking at.

He wanted to say something, felt like he should but he didn't know what he could possibly say to make the moment any more perfect. Jenny glanced over and smiled. Trevor reached for his bag and began to roll another joint. Mike grinned and sat up a little, handing him the lighter. They passed it between themselves, smiling at the familiar pull into relaxation. It might have been the pot, it might have been the night air but Trevor was suddenly pretty tired. He pulled Mike closer to him, wrapping his arms around his shoulders.

 

*

 

Trevor could hear birdsong. The sun was glinting off of the water and Mike was asleep on his chest. Nobody else seemed to be awake. There were are few figures sprawled here and there, some had obviously tried to find a comfortable place to sleep, whilst others looked more like they'd just passed out. Trevor smiled. It had been a good night.

“Hey, you wanna go up to bed?” Trevor asked.

His back was sore from sleeping on the floor and his mouth felt like it was full of cotton. Mike opened his eyes slowly.

“Wha-? Oh, uh, sure.”

Trevor stood up and gathered his things, hoping that nobody was in their room. He'd shut the door and left a note on the bed, stating that anyone found sleeping in it would be thrown into the lake, mercilessly, but he didn't have high hopes. They were lucky, though. The bathroom door was open and someone had made a makeshift bed out of the bathtub and some blankets but there was nobody in the bed itself.

Trevor climbed into bed and moved against the wall so Mike could slide in after him. He felt himself drifting off again already. Mike's eyes were already closed.

When Trevor awoke for the second time, Mike was gone and he could hear voices from downstairs. He went down to find most of the people gone, just Mike, Jenny, her cousins and a few of their friends cleaning up roughly.

“Hey, Trev,” Jamie said when he walked out to the decking.

“What time is it?”

“Around noon, we haven't been up long. We're just cleaning up a little before tonight. There's not much point in doing it properly.”

 

*

 

People didn't start arriving until much later the second night. It was dark before the house was half full. Jenny noticed that they were mostly different people and she wondered how many of them actually knew her cousins. She saw Brad through the crowd and smiled. He'd been speaking to her a lot the night before. Sure, he'd had a hard time keeping his eyes on her face but he'd been pretty drunk.

As he walked closer to her, she realised that he was in roughly the same state again. Not that she minded, he was cute and seemed nice enough. He didn't live that far from her, either. She thought her dad might flip because he was in college, but what her dad didn't know couldn't hurt him.

“Wanna dance?” he asked.

Jenny rolled her eyes. He'd been trying to get her to dance with him the night before but she'd used her bikini as an excuse. It had not been made to dance in. She couldn't use that as an excuse this time, though. She grabbed his drink and downed it and then led him away from the crowd. She didn't like dancing in front of people but she let her hips sway to the music anyway.

Brad stepper closer to her, hands at her waist, moving along with her. His hands went lower, sliding back to grip her jeans so she took a step backward. It was too soon.

She could still have some fun with his impatience, though.

Jenny span around, so her ass was nearly touching his crotch, moving rhythmically but leaving just an inch between them. She felt his hands at her hips again, about to pull her back against him so she moved faster, shaking his hands loose. Then she dropped, sliding down his body and back up again. His groan was priceless. She liked him, she really did but she wasn't giving him anything that easily.

Mike walked through the room and flashed a concerned glance at her. She grinned and winked at him, reassuring him that she was fine. She could handle herself. Brad's hands were on her again so she span around. Nothing could happen, even if she wanted it to. Her cousins were there, that would be weird.

“You want to go somewhere else?” Brad asked.

“I'm not that kind of girl,” she replied.

“I know. I wouldn't be interested if you were. I just want to talk.”

 

*

 

Mike saw Jenny pass him, sleazy guy in tow (okay, Jenny wasn't stupid, he probably wasn't that bad). He walked out to the decking, partially to keep an eye on her and partially to find Trevor. He'd managed to lose him in a crowd a few minutes ago and he'd been too busy checking on Jenny to notice.

He found Trevor talking to some guys, looking a little shifty and he knew he'd been dealing. He couldn't find Jenny at first and he couldn't help worrying. He was about to go over to Trevor, to ask if he'd seen her when he saw her by the edge of the lake. She was sitting with the guy, talking, just talking.

“Hey, Trev,” he called. “Let's go meet that guy Jenny's been with.”

“Why?” Trevor asked.

“I don't know, to see if he actually is a dick?”

They both walked over to Jenny and sat down next to her.

“Oh, hey guys,” she said. “Er, this is Brad. Brad, Mike and Trevor are like my best friends.”

“Oh, right?” he said. “Hey.”

He seemed kind of annoyed about something, but Mike wasn't sure what it could be. He definitely didn't like the guy.

“Look, I've gotta go see someone quick,” Brad said. “I'll see you later, Jenny.”

He stood up and walked away, leaving Jenny looking a little confused.

“So, what, do you like him?” Mike asked.

“Yeah... he's cute, right?” Jenny replied.

Mike didn't know what to say. He couldn't exactly tell her he hated him for some unknown reason. He didn't even know the guy.

“Yeah, I guess,” he said. “I wish we weren't going back tomorrow.”

“I could ask Jamie and Rick if we could stay a bit longer, if you like,” Jenny said.

“No, no, it would be too much hassle explaining it to Grammy and we have to go back some time.”

“It is brilliant here, though,” Trevor said. “We should do this when we're in college.”

Jenny looked round when he said that, like it was the last thing she expected him to say.

“I've never heard you even mention going to college before anyone else did,” she said.

“Hey, I was talking about partying, it's not a huge leap,” he replied.

Mike smiled. He could just see the three of them in college together, struggling with money and classes and balancing partying with studying. He couldn't wait.


	13. Dumb Boys And Their Dumb Ideas

 When they got back from the lake, it was like being on some sort of come down. It took a few days to adjust to being back at home, no longer staying up all night and sleeping all day, living solely on a diet of alcohol and burgers. Once they realised that they still had weeks left of summer break, though, things picked up. Trevor's parents went away, after the usual conversation about trusting him not to do anything stupid (a speech his mom made every time but she never seemed to mean) and telling him where the money for food was. He phoned Mike up straight away, telling him to pack some clothes come to stay.

Within two hours, they were so stoned they barely wanted to move but they made it outside anyway, not wanting to waste the good weather. They'd phoned Jenny and she'd said she'd meet them at the arcade to hang out, but that she'd be a while.

One thing that Mike and Trevor should never attempt: killing time whilst high.

Little did Mike know that he'd (vaguely) regret his actions for years to come.

 

*

 

Jenny looked at the clock. It had been ten minutes since she'd told Trevor that she'd meet him at the arcade but it was so hot that she didn't want to move. Going out would involve getting dressed, which would involve going downstairs to get clean clothes. The summer heat made her lazy. She'd heard them on the phone; Mike had been shouting in the background, trying to say hello. She had to go, they were obviously high. God knows what sort of shit they would get themselves into.

Jenny wrapped the towel more tightly around herself and went downstairs. If she was lucky, she'd be able to avoid her mother. She kept trying to 'bond' with her, code for asking her pointless questions that Jenny didn't need or want to answer.

She wasn't lucky.

“Hey,” her mom said with a slightly awkward smile. “Have you go plans today? The weather is so nice.”

She seemed to be guarding the laundry, as if Jenny was likely to just grab it and run away without answering. In all fairness, if she thought she could get away with it, she probably would.

“Uh, yeah, I'm just going out to see some friends,” she replied.

“Paige? You haven't seen her in a while.”

“Uh, no, Mike and Trevor are in the arcade so I said I'd meet them there.”

“Oh...”

She could hear the disapproval in her voice. She didn't know why she objected to Trevor so much. Sure, there were so many reasons why she should but her mother didn't know him that well. Trevor just seemed to be the kind of guy that people 'had a bad feeling about'. Maybe that was why he got into so much trouble. If people assumed he'd done something anyway, why not have some fun?

“So have you thought any more about college?”

That was one of her three favourite things to ask about. It was always either college, jobs (Jenny had quit her old job after they'd messed her shifts around one time too many) or whether or not her room was tidy (her answer was always yes and it was always a lie).

“Since you last asked? Yesterday? Nope.”

After twenty minutes, she managed to escape the meaningless questions. She still had to sort her hair, get dressed and walk to the arcade. Add in time for procrastination and she'd be lucky to be there in under an hour. With the state that the guys were in, though, she doubted they'd notice. Maybe they'd been drinking a little, too. She hadn't heard them slur that badly before.

 

*

 

Jenny gave Trevor a quick text when she was close. She didn't know if they were still there or if they'd wandered off somewhere. She needn't have bothered, though. When she rounded the corner, she saw the two of them standing around, both looking quite giddy. When they spotted her, they grinned at each other with raised eyebrows, as if trying to work out whether or not to let her in on some secret. What had they gone and done?

 

*

 

_Two hours earlier_

Mike bit his lip nervously. This was a bad idea, surely? He couldn't fight the nagging curiosity, though. What would it be like? There was no other way to find out than to just take that leap. Besides, Trevor was doing it.

Okay, he knew if that was the only reason to do something then it was probably an awful idea but, god, the look in Trevor's eyes when he'd agreed, the way he'd licked his lips when he'd pointed to his hip... he had to do this. He lay back as Trevor did the same. He squeezed his hand tightly; Trevor and the older, bearded man chuckled in unison and then it started.

The pain was excruciating, burning and Mike nearly cried out but then it seemed to fade, to transform into something else. The chemicals that were still in his system helped, Trevor's voice in his ear made it even better.

“You can do this, Mike, it's fine. Oh my god, this is so _perfect_ ,” he said and it was all Mike could hear over the buzzing and the pounding in his ears. It still hurt, it still really hurt, but it didn't really feel like pain. His brain wasn't going into overdrive with the need to stop it.

A door opened and another man entered the room. Trevor tensed up for a second and then relaxed. It was starting for him, now. More noise, a wince of pain from Trevor and Mike couldn't help laughing. He couldn't believe they were doing this.

 

*

 

“Oh my god. You're kidding, right? You've done this as a joke,” Jenny said but she knew it wasn't fake. The pair of them had pulled their t shirts up to reveal matching bandages on their hips, the surrounding skin an angry red. She saw the tattoo parlour behind them. Jesus. She wanted to smack their heads together.

“It felt kinda nice,” Mike said dreamily. “Wanna see it?”

Mike moved to unbuckle his belt but Jenny stopped him.

“No! No, Mike, keep your pants on. Jesus, what have you done? Ugh, don't pick at the bandage, don't you need to keep that on?”

“Yeah, they told us to but I'm sure it'll be fine,” Trevor said with a shrug.

Jenny sighed. Couldn't they ever take anything seriously?

As if to answer her unspoken questions, they high fived.

No, no they couldn't.

 

*

 

Mike woke up and the first thing that registered in his brain was pain. It was how he'd woken up the morning before and the morning before that, though, so he didn't worry. He looked down at the bandage on his hip and shook his head.

Mike looked to his left and saw Trevor sprawled out on his stomach. He didn't regret it that much. He shouldn't have done it but he couldn't really bring himself to care. Trevor had said something about not being able to do anything about it, making regrets pointless. Mike had to admit that thinking like that made everything easier to deal with.

Besides, their designs were kind of cute. They were allowed to take off their bandages today. They could finally see the sprawling lines that ran along their hipbones, intersecting and swirling in a way that was really quite pretty.

They could finally lie side by side so their tattoos met, forming a sloppy heart. They were so dumb.

 

*

 

Trevor swore the tattoos hurt more when they were healing than when they were getting them done.

“Miiike,” he said, stretching out the syllable. “My hip hurts, let's get high.”

Mike smiled.

“Why are you trying to convince me? You don't need to.”

Trevor moved off of the beanbag, wincing as the pain flared. It wasn't that painful, it was just sore where the waistband of his jeans rubbed against the raw skin. The red tinge had faded now, the scabs were healing. He couldn't wait until they were fully healed, until he could run his lips along Mike's, tracing the lines with his tongue.

He opened the cupboard and pulled out everything he needed. He handed the grinder and pot to Mike as he prepared the rest of the joint. Mike passed him back the grinder after a few moments and he tipped the ground up pot into the paper, rolling it between his forefinger and thumb. Then he tucked the paper under and finished rolling. He picked up the lighter as he put the joint in his mouth, toking as he lit it, taking the smoke into his lungs.

As he exhaled, he leaned forwards and kissed Mike quickly. He took a few more hits before passing it to Mike, letting the high spread through his body. Mike breathed in deeply as he took the joint away from his lips. He leaned forwards, grinning, pressing his lips to Trevor's, forcing them apart and exhaling into his mouth. Trevor took his smoke gratefully, smiling at the way it tasted like him. Mike grabbed his hand and moved it down his body until Trevor could feel his erection pressing through his jeans.

They pulled apart and Trevor exhaled as Mike took another drag. He slid off of the beanbag and moved between Mike's legs. He carefully undid his jeans, trying not to let the denim brush against the tender skin of his hip. Mike groaned as he ran his hands over his cock before pulling it out and slipping it into his mouth. He heard Mike exhaling above him and he sucked and swirled his tongue. Mike's hand was on his shoulder, trying to get his attention. Trevor pulled back just a little so he could look to see what he wanted.

The joint was between his fingers.

“Oh, god, no, don't stop,” he said. “But fuck, I'm not smoking this all myself.”

Trevor grinned and reached up to take it from him.

 

*

 

Mike moaned at the loss when Trevor took his cock out of his mouth. He didn't want him to stop but he'd had over half the joint to himself already. He watched as Trevor took a deep drag of the joint before plunging his mouth onto his cock again. It shocked Mike and he dug his fingers into the beanbag. His mouth was hotter now and Trevor sucked hard before his lips went slack and he exhaled, letting smoke leak out of his mouth. Mike gasped at the sensation.

Trevor grinned as he sucked and licked Mike's cock a little before he slipped the joint back into his mouth alongside it. He took another drag, teasing another groan out of him. He sucked hard before pulling the joint out of his mouth and handing it back. Smoke poured out of his nostrils as Mike smoked the rest of the joint, his eyes rolling back into his head as Trevor started to swirl his tongue maddeningly.

“Oh my god, you're so weird,” Mike breathed.

 


	14. Camping

 The rest of summer break was relatively uneventful. Mike miraculously managed to get through it without letting Grammy see his tattoo. There had been a few close calls but it helped that she didn't even think he was capable of doing something like that.

The first day back to school was a little depressing. Everyone was disappointed when they remembered that they had real lives to get back to.

By lunch, rumours of Trevor's tattoo had spread. At first, Mike was sure he'd told someone, but then he realised that he'd had gym first thing. Quite a few people asked Mike about it, telling him what they had heard and questioning the legitimacy of the rumours. Some of them even asked if Mike had gotten one, too. Some of the rumours were beyond ridiculous. Once of the girls that approached him was convinced that Trevor had an accurate world map on his back. How would that even be useful?

The one thing that was certain was that nobody seemed surprised that Trevor had been dumb enough to get inked.

 

*

 

In the first week, they were reminded about college applications no fewer than six times. They were informed that they would each have a one-to-one session with the guidance counsellor and that they needed to start thinking about their futures. Trevor came back from his session and just shrugged when Mike asked how it had gone.

“Please tell me that you didn't just tell her you wanted to go wherever Mike is going,” Jenny said.

“Sorta, I guess. I told her that I just wanted to go to college with my friends. She didn't seem surprised, she gave me some forms to fill out.”.

Jenny had already had her meeting and had told them all that she had decided on psychology. There were plenty of places that offered her course. Mike had done a little research and made a list of good places that offered psych and law courses so they could all go to college together.

 

*

 

Mike's one-to-one meeting took a long time to come around. The guidance counsellor smiled at him when he walked in and sat down.

“Michael Ross...” she said, looking over a sheet of paper in front of her. “Hm... but you prefer Mike, right? We finally meet.”

Mike couldn't help feeling like he was being judged. He felt like he was meeting someone that already knew him.

“I'm looking at your grades here and... well apart from them being surprisingly good for your behavioural record... I'm guessing you want to study Law?”

“Uh, yeah, I'd like to. I mean I don't really mind where. I can't afford anywhere too good and I want to be somewhere my friends can study, too -” he began but she help her hand up, cutting him off.

“You mean Trevor Evans, yes?”

Mike wondered what exactly she had written on that piece of paper in front of her.

“Uh, yeah. And Jenny.”

“Well Michael, er, Mike, I think you should put a little more though into your future,” she said.

“What?”

“With these grades and a few glowing recommendations about the extra work you've put in, you could go to some of the best colleges -”

“But I already told you, I don't have the money -”

“On a full scholarship,” she continued.

“Really?” Mike had never heard anything like that. He was used to being clever, sure, but never in a way that actually helped.

“Mike, I think you should at least apply for a variety of places. If you don't, you might just come to regret it when you have to make your choice later in the year,” she said.

Mike started to protest but she just pushed some application forms towards him. He raised his eyebrows when he looked at the top one a little more closely.

Harvard Law.

“Are you sure..?” he asked.

She nodded.

“Mike, you've achieved some amazing grades in such a short space of time. Could it really hurt to fill out a few forms?”

 

*

 

Trevor grinned. It wasn't long until his birthday and his parents had told him he'd be getting money to do something with friends.

“Something legal, though. No more tattoos,” his mom said.

“As if I'd use the money to get my friends tattooed. What the fuck?”

His mom rolled her eyes. She hadn't been as mad as she could have been about it, he'd been more worried about her finding out about Mike's and telling his grandmother.

“How about camping?” his dad suggested. “You could use our tent and use the money for travel and... supplies.”

His dad said the last word strangely. He wasn't stupid, just too busy to worry about his son drinking and smoking pot. They'd had a conversation before but he hadn't seemed too interested. He'd just told him to be careful and that he'd done the same thing when he was younger so he couldn't really tell him to stop. Trevor's mom ignored the subject entirely.

“Don't do anything stupid, okay? We can trust you, right?” she asked.

Trevor knew she knew what he got up to. Well, some of what he got up to. He knew that as long as he didn't openly get high in front of her or parade bags of pot around with him, that she wouldn’t say anything.

“Yeah, sure. I wont do anything stupid. I'll cancel the appointment to get my face tattooed.”

Trevor's dad cracked a smile before he could stop himself and his mom just shook her head.

 

*

 

Mike jumped off the bus and shouldered his bag. Jenny had suggested a location to them as soon as Trevor had mentioned camping. According to her, they wouldn't have to walk for any longer than ten minutes.

“It's just through here,” she said, leading them off the road to an area of woodland.

They'd been on the bus for longer than he'd expected. Apparently, Jenny had been to this place a lot as a kid and for some reason, he'd expected it to be closer. The trees were dense and there was a sound of running water. The sound reminded Mike of the lake and he took Trevor's hand.

Trevor smiled at him, looking happy for the first time that day. They'd had to leave earlier than they wanted to and he'd been pretty grumpy all morning. He'd fallen asleep on the bus and seemed to be feeling better now.

“Here we are,” Jenny said as they walked into the clearing.

“Fuck,” Trevor breathed, looking around.

It was beautiful. They were in a small clearing, maybe fifteen feet in diameter. The branches of the trees around the edge were overgrown, crossing over above them. There was a gap in the middle, letting a bright beam of light fall down, highlighting the ripples of a small stream.

“There used to be fish in there, I don't know if there still will be,” Jenny said.

Trevor leaned over to look at the running water.

“Yeah! There are loads of little ones and -” Trevor shut up quickly, as if he'd suddenly remembered that he was supposed to be mad at her for getting him out of bed before noon on his birthday.

They set their bags down and found an area of flat ground. It was like the place had somehow been designed for camping. They had fresh water (not that they'd need it, they had plenty of beer), shade, privacy, it was perfect.

“So, er, I guess you can put the tent up?” Mike asked.

He'd never been camping before. He didn't mind helping but he had no idea what to do.

“Yeah, Trevor, help me lay the groundsheet,” Jenny said.

“The what?” Trevor asked. “Uh... yeah... I don't know how to do tents.”

“What? But it's your tent. How can you not know how to put it up?”

Trevor shrugged.

“Look, uh, just show me what I need to do and I'll help,” Mike said. “It is Trevor's birthday, after all.”

“Hey, I don't mind pulling my weight. I just don't know how.”

“Just unpack that bag for me,” Jenny said, pointing to one of the bags near the edge of the clearing.

They got to work, not stopping until the tent was fully built and Trevor had finished unpacking the food and drink.

“Wait, what's that? Guys!”

Jenny was looking at something Trevor had placed beside the beer.

“What? You said this place was pretty secluded,” Mike said with a grin.

Him and Trevor had been smoking a little more again. No more than they'd used to, just more than they had for a while. Mike knew that Jenny hadn't ever tried any. She'd always seemed a little curious but now that she was looking at it, she seemed a little worried.

“Don't worry, we'll sort that out later,” Trevor said before disappearing inside the tent.

 

**

 

Trevor scrambled into the corner of the tent to let the other two pile in after him. Jenny still looked a little worried; she'd seen the pot and freaked out. He thought she should have known better, really. Like there was any chance he'd have a birthday without it.

The ten was a six-man, so the three of them fit inside with ease. It felt good to get away again. Not that they had much to do at home but it was just nice to have the freedom to do whatever they wanted. Well, maybe not everything he wanted, he'd like to get some alone time with Mike but he'd promised him that he could stay at his when they got home.

There was just something nice about being together. He knew it would look strange to most people, that the three of them didn't really have other friends, that they just had each other but that was how he liked it. He three of them just worked so well.

Mike got his phone out of his pocket and Trevor heard the shutter sound. He grinned, Mike was always taking photographs of things. He watched him crawl over to the tent flap and ease it open before snapping a few more photographs. Mike contorted his body in a way that only made sense to himself; Trevor had no idea how that could help him get a better shot. His photographs were always good, though, so it had to help somehow.

Trevor hadn't seen Mike's room for a while, but the last time he'd been there, he'd seen a few of those photographs printed out and taped to the wall above his bed. Most of them were of him, Jenny or all three of them together. A few of them were of the cabin and the lake; Trevor couldn't even remember him taking them. There was something lovely about watching him, though. He always looked so caught up in the moment.

“Okay, Mr. Photographer, when you're done, you think you could pass me a beer?” Trevor asked.

Mike rolled his eyes but put his phone away again. He reached outside the tent and pulled three beers and a bag of chips inside. Trevor took the three beers from him, opened them with his teeth and then passed two of them to Jenny and Mike.

“So, Jen, you still want to know what pot's like?” Mike asked, leering a little, like he'd just suggested something much more risque.

“Er, I don't know... I mean...”

“It's cool if you don't. There's more for us then,” Mike cut in.

Jenny smiled, completely falling for Mike's bait.

“Fine, I mean, I'll give it a go.”

Mike disappeared out of the tent and returned with everything they needed. Trevor watched him roll a joint, watched Jenny's eyes follow everything he did. He moved closer to her and watched Mike light the joint and take a few tokes. He passed it to Trevor who looked at Jenny and then held it up to her mouth.

“I can do it,” she said, moving to take it from him.

Trevor just shook his head and moved the joint away from her and then back to her lips once she'd put her hand down. She rolled her eyes and moved forwards, parting her lips and placing them around the joint. He watched her take a drag and then inhale deeply. It was an admirable first attempt, she only coughed a little when she exhaled. She did the same again, and then once more before Trevor took it away from her and had some himself.

When the gentle warmth started to spread through his body, he passed the end back to Mike.

Half an hour later, they'd smoked another joint between them and the three of them were spread out on their backs.

“We should really go outside,” Jenny suggested. “It's so pretty out there.”

“Okay, yeah, you move first though,” Mike said.

Trevor saw Jenny nod and mouth something, like she couldn't even be bothered to speak. She didn't move.

 

*

 

Mike didn't want to move. It had been a brilliant day. After a few hours, they'd finally peeled themselves off of the floor of the tent and they'd made it outside. Trevor had somehow made a fire, surprising all three of them. Mike wasn't sure the sausages were cooked properly but they tasted fine and none of them felt ill yet.

After he'd decided that his head was clear enough, Mike had climbed a few trees, trying to get a decent shot of the clearing. He'd captured a wonderful photograph of Trevor and Jenny, lazing together next to the stream, the light bouncing off of the water and onto their faces. He hadn't shown them, but he was planning on adding it to the growing collection on his wall.

It had gotten late and Mike was tired. The three of them were curled up with blankets and sleeping bags. Trevor seemed to be asleep and Jenny was tossing and turning. Before they'd turned the lamp off, she'd made them promise not to get up to any 'funny business'. Apparently she didn't want to wake up to find them having sex because it would just be weird.

As nice as it had been, Mike couldn't wait to get Trevor home.

 

**

 

Trevor slipped in through Mike's window and waited . He could hear the shower running and he just hoped Mike wouldn't freak the fuck out if he made him jump. He was lucky. Mike's only freaking out came in the form of him dropping his towel.

“What the fuck?” he asked.

“Uh...” was all Trevor managed.

“Stop staring at my dick,” Mike laughed.

“Oh, sorry, uh I just wanted to know if you wanted to do something today?”

“What? Why?” Mike asked suspiciously.

As he spent a lot of his time blackmailing Trevor into going outside with him, it was understandable.

“I don't know, I'm just bored.”

“Trevor...” Mike said, obviously not buying any of it.

“Okay, look, it's weird... Jenny has a date and I thought maybe we could follow her a bit, make sure she's okay.”

“What the fuck, no, that _is_ weird,” Mike said.

“You're the one that said he seemed like a dick, though!” Trevor said.

“What? When?”

“You remember that guy she hung around with at the lake party? He's driven down to see her.”

“He has a car?”

“Yeah...”

“Well I guess we could go out... It's not our fault if we run into them.”

“That's exactly what I was thinking,” Trevor said with a grin.

“So, uh, where are they?”

 

*

 

Jenny walked out of the cinema and tried to keep the smile off of her face. Okay, so she really liked this guy. A lot. He'd been texting and phoning her occasionally since the party and she wasn't sure why he liked her exactly, but it was nice. Between all of the Mike and Trevor drama and trying to get into a good college so she could get away, she hadn't really left much time for anything else. Sure, she'd thought about it but days had just slipped past and she couldn't remember the last time she'd had a date. It must have been with Trevor.

“So, where do you want to eat?” Brad asked.

He was being a gentleman, offering to pay for everything and not pressuring her into anything. She almost regretted telling him that he needed to prove that he wasn't just interested in her for sex. She couldn't take that back without looking desperate or weird.

Besides the pizza place (and she was not going to get pizza when he was paying) there was only really one place Jenny liked to eat. It wasn't too pricey, served fantastic steaks and had great atmosphere.

“Do you know Brelini's?” she asked.

Brad nodded and grinned. He'd told her that he had family in the area and that he'd often visited them as a kid.

“My uncle always used to let me get a milkshake there when I visited him in the summer,” he said as he searched around in his pocket for his keys.

He unlocked the car and Jenny got in clumsily. She always had this thing about unfamiliar cars. Getting into a car you were used to was easy but strange cars... they were awkward and she always managed to slip up somehow.

Brad put the key into the ignition and the engine roared to life. Jenny didn't know much about cars but she knew that she was in a nice one. It was only six months old and obviously not bought on a budget. She wondered if it was a birthday present but she didn't want to ask. It would have been a very expensive birthday present. Not that she was thinking about money... she just couldn't help being a little curious.

She wondered what Mike and Trevor would say about the car. It was a little weird that she missed them. It felt wrong being out without them. She hadn't realised how close they'd been in the last year until then. She was considering texting them as Brad pulled up to the restaurant but she didn't know what to say. It's not like there was a phrase people used when they were on a date but missed their gay best friends.

She needn't have worried, though. Jenny walked into the restaurant and saw Mike and Trevor sitting towards the back of the room, pretending not to have seen her. Pretending badly. Like looking up, spotting her and pointing, then acting like it never happened, badly. She was going to kill them.

 

*

 

“I'd tell you how my date went, but you already know,” Jenny said.

Mike and Trevor had gotten back to the basement twenty minutes ahead of Jenny (Mike assumed the guy had dropped her back to hers and then she'd come right over to yell at them).

“You're not the only one allowed to go on a date, you know,” Trevor said.

He'd tried, Mike had to give him that. Jenny didn't seem to agree, though.

“Just... don't. How did you know where I was?”

“Oh come on, Jen, you know there's only one restaurant you would have gone to.”

“And why exactly did you follow me?”

Mike squeezed Trevor's hand, hoping it would be enough to stop him from saying something. Mike knew better than to tell Jenny that he didn't trust a guy that she obviously liked a lot. It wasn't like they had any reason to dislike him.

“I don't know, we were curious,” he said.

Jenny rolled her eyes. She didn't seem that mad, not really. It was more like she needed and explanation and then she was fine.

“You guys need to get a life.”


	15. Drug Dealers Are Bad

The sun was beating down on the city, reflecting off of every surface. Trevor walked quickly, his hand gripping the briefcase handle tightly. Going to a new house always made him nervous, not that he'd ever tell anyone. He hadn't done a big drop like this for a while, he didn't get involved with anything heavy if he didn't have to. Ben had given him a choice about this one, though. He'd told him to be careful, to watch his mouth. This guy, he was a big deal and dealt in a lot more than just weed.

Trevor knocked on the door. It seemed like a normal house, but they usually did. The guy that answered looked normal, too. He let Trevor inside and led him through the house. Trevor tried not to be too nosy but he couldn't help looking at the walls. There were photographs of a family, three children, a woman and the man in front of him.

“Trevor, right?” he asked.

“Uh, yeah, y-yeah.” Trevor replied.

“You'll have to give me a minute,” the man said. “Someone else turned up early, so I'm a little short on cash. I've got a guy dropping some off in a sec.”

Trevor pushed the panic down, he was going to be fine, this wasn't a trap. He led Trevor through to the back room. There was another man there, opening a case on the table. It contained more money than Trevor had ever gotten from a client, by far. An identical case lay open next to it, full of what Trevor took to be cocaine.

Trevor didn't want to judge... he knew he'd gotten in pretty deep, but not that deep. He hadn't even taken cocaine. It didn't really appeal to him.

The guy closed the money case and turned around. He looked as shocked as Trevor felt.

It was Brad.

Jenny's boyfriend.

_Shit._

 

_*_

 

“He's a drug dealer!”

Mike whirled around to see Trevor rolling in through his window.

“What? Who? You?” he asked.

“What? No... Brad!”

“But so are you,” Mike said.

Trevor rolled his eyes.

“Yeah but he's a proper one. An actual one. Cocaine.”

Mike didn't know what to say. Trevor dealt pot, sometimes even large amounts but somehow this was different. He wasn't sure what he was supposed to do; he knew that Jenny really liked the guy and he didn't want to hurt her but he didn't want her to get hurt, either.

“What do we do?” he asked.

“I don't know. That's why I came to you. I mean, we have to tell her, don't we?”

 

*

 

Mike was a coward. A ridiculous coward. He should have told Jenny by now, he'd known for days but he didn't know how to approach it.

“Is something wrong, Michael?” his Grammy asked over breakfast.

“Er no, I'm just tired,” he said quickly.

“You know I can tell when you're lying.”

Mike sighed. He couldn't exactly explain the situation.

“Jenny's dating this guy and... well...I don't trust him.”

“Oh...” his Grammy said with a knowing smile.

“Wait, no, I'm not jealous or anything. What should I do? Trevor found something out about him, something not exactly good and I don't know if I should tell her.”

“Well she deserves to know, surely? It depends on how bad it is.”

“I just don't want to hurt her. I know I need to tell her but I don't know how.”

“Just talk to her. Tell her gently, it's better if she finds out now than in six months when she's in love with the boy.”

She smiled at him in a way that made Mike wonder if she hadn't asked for details because she respected Mike's privacy or because she already knew.

 

*

 

The music in his ears drowned out the sounds around him so Trevor jumped when he felt a hand on his shoulder.

“Your mom let me in,” Mike said after Trevor took out his earphones.

“I thought I was coming to yours later,” Trevor replied.

Not that he minded Mike turning up out of nowhere.

“Yeah, I was just thinking about Jenny. We need to tell her and I couldn't get hold of her,” Mike said.

“Have you spoken to her?”

“No... her phone's probably out of charge again.”

Trevor didn't really want to tell her. It would be awkward and she was bound to ask questions but if he didn't, she could be in danger.

“Shall we walk over there?” he asked.

The evening air was cool, the sun low in the sky. Mike nodded. They both walked quickly, Trevor knew that if they took too long, they might chicken out.

They really couldn't wait too long. Jenny was bound to be going out with him soon.

Trevor knocked the door when Mike hesitated. He was surprised to see one of Jenny's brothers when the door opened.

“Oh, hey, George, is Jenny home?” he asked

George frowned.

“Uh, no. No, she's out. With Brad.”

Trevor could tell from the tone of his voice that he didn't approve of Brad either.

“Shit,” Mike said under his breath.

“Why? Is there something wrong?” George asked.

Trevor knew that Jenny's brothers were overprotective. George had sat him down and given him a speech when he'd first started dating her.

“No, no, we were just hoping to catch her before she went out, that's all.”

“Any idea where they went? I owe her twenty bucks and I think she wanted it before she went out tonight.”

“Er, yeah,” George said. “I think they went to the arcade.”

 

*

 

“Do you think we're overreacting?” Mike asked as they walked quickly over to the arcade. “I mean, it's just his job, right? Doesn’t mean he's evil, does it?”

“What? Cocaine, Mike? A lot of it.”

“I know! I know, like we have to tell her, but when she's actually on a date?”

“I... can we at least make sure she's okay? I don't like the idea of her dating a drug dealer.”

“She dated you,” Mike said.

Trevor glared at him. They made their way to the arcade and went inside, looking around for Jenny. They spotted her, sitting alone with a soda, looking around anxiously.

Mike had decided that they weren't going to speak to her unless they had to but he didn't want to leave her sitting there alone.

“C'mon,” he motioned to Trevor.

“Are you following me again?” she asked, not looking too pleased to see them.

“Well, yeah, okay, we are but... we'll get to that,” Mike said. “Where's Brad?”

He didn't see the point of lying at this point.

“I don't know, he went outside to make a call a few minutes ago. He hasn't come back yet,” she said. “I wanted to go and look for him but he told me to stay here. Will you come and find him with me?”

“Uh, sure,” Mike said.

Trevor looked at him oddly but Mike couldn't tell what he was thinking. The three of them walked outside, they could tell her what they'd found out later.

There was no sign of Brad but they heard shouting from the alleyway.

“I thought I told you to shut the fuck up!”

Trevor rounded the corner first and threw his arms out to hold Mike and Jenny back. Mike looked around the corner and understood why. Brad was there. He had some guy held up against the wall, Mike was pretty sure he could see a knife.

“I'm sorry, man... I -” the other main said.

“Oh, you're sorry? You're sorry for turning up at my date? You think I want to be seen with someone like you?

“Brad! What are you doing?”

Jenny pushed past Mike and Trevor, running into the alley. Brad dropped the guy and let him run away. Jenny looked angry but Mike could see fear in her eyes.

“So, what? You left me in there so you could come out here and... and stab someone?!” Jenny shouted.

Brad had already put the knife back inside his jacket.

“Jen, you don't understand. He -”

“What was he? A client? Business partner?” Trevor cut in.

Mike pulled him backwards, holding tight onto the fabric of his shirt, wanting to get him (and Jenny) as far away as possible. Brad was glaring at them both.

“What?” Jenny asked, looking back and forth between all of them.

“He... he deals cocaine,” Mike said quietly.

This wasn't the time or the place to explain something like that. Jenny didn't say anything.

“Jen, please, it's not what it looks like,” Brad said.

He stepped forwards, towards them all. Mike and Trevor did the same, placing themselves between Brad and Jenny.

“Guys, it's okay. It's not like he's going to hurt me. This is real life, not a movie,” Jenny said.

“Can we just go back inside? Talk about this?” Brad asked.

Mike was surprised. He'd expected Brad to be more confrontational... more like a drug dealer.

“No, I don't think so. I'm going home,” Jenny said.

“Jen -” Brad began.

“No. I'm leaving,” Jenny cut in. “Surprisingly, I'm not really in the mood for this right now.”

“Okay, well at least let me drive you.”

“I think I'll walk, actually,” Jenny said. “Mike? Trevor? Will you walk me?”

They both nodded, a little speechless at how strong she was being. They always acted like they had to protect her, like she was weak and needed help. It turned out she didn't need them as much as they'd thought.

“Jenny, wait,” Brad begged.

“Don't call me.”

 

*

 

“So how exactly did you find out about all of this?” Jenny asked.

They were sitting in Trevor's basement and Jenny had gone from shocked to angry remarkably quickly. Trevor didn't know what to think. Sure, he'd been worried when he'd first found out but, as Mike had pointed out, Brad hadn't reacted badly.

“Uh, I saw him.” Trevor said.

“What exactly was he doing? I mean was it a small amount or..?” Jenny asked.

“No. God, no, it was a lot,” Trevor said. “I went to some guy's house... to buy some weed and Brad was their with a whole suitcase full.”

Jenny's eyes widened. That wasn't the world she knew.

“We came to tell you,” Mike said. “As soon as we found out you were with him.”

“And how did you find out, exactly?” she asked.

“Your brother,” Mike said.

“Wait, did you tell him?!” Jenny asked.

“No, of course not.”

Jenny seemed to calm down when she heard that her brother hadn't been updated on the situation. God only knows what he would have done if they'd told him.


End file.
